God Encounter 2013
Safe Place
I was standing outside the temple on the white dirt road leading the the temple steps. I didn't know why I was there, but, I was just standing there. I was 12 years old in this encounter. I looked down at my once white dress and became frustrated. My hair was a mess with tangles and dirt. I looked to the temple and focused on the door. Going back? Again like this? What will he say? I thought and shook my head. I saw the two angels that guard me standing one on each side of the door. I looked behind me and I saw that there was nothing back there. I saw where the white dirt road turned to brown and the lush green grass on both sides where dried up mud. I knew I couldn't go back that way but to face Him like this? I sighed and looked down at my feet. I wiggled my toes and thought of the maroon rug and how it felt under my feet. I looked back up to temple and made my way to the steps. I looked up the steps and slowly began to climb them. When I got to the top the two angels smiled at me. I looked at their white robes of light and though how I longed to be that way again. I looked down at myself knowing I had fallen and made so many mistakes. I had shut Him out to hide my shame, but here I was....again. I knew I could not open the door. I walked over to it feeling defeated and exhausted. I place my hand on the writing on the door and lowered my head. A tear fell from my eye to the ground. I guess the Angels could sense my distraught the came up behind me, one on each side, and stretched out all 4 of their wings covering me and the space around the door. I whispered in my despair "Abba." I felt the ground shake and I looked at the writing on the door, it changed to the Hebrew writing for Abba. The letters filled up with red blood and I stepped back not sure what was happening. The door began to open and I stepped in. I stood there in the back for a while where the light from the ark barely touched. The doors closed behind me and the two angels stood one on each side. I rubbed my left arm anxious to be there knowing that yet again I had failed Him. I watched the light above the ark dance and wanted so much to draw near to it, but I felt like I couldn't. I looked at the big column just on the edge of the end of the maroon rug. I slowly walked over to it. It was like I was hiding behind it, so I could be a little closer but not be noticed. When I hear I AM behind me say "Child, why are you hiding?" I turned and saw him and put my back against the column with my hands on it. I looked at him with fear and uncertainty. My moth opened but I could not speak the words. I then slowly slid around the side of it and peeked around at him, like a child in a game of hide and seek. He smiled gently and his eyes where full of love, I didn't understand his expression I knew he knew. I stepped away from the side of the massive column and looked down at my bare feet covered in dried mud and small cuts. I couldn't even look at Him. He came close to me and he knelt down and asked "Can I see?" I put out my hand, he gently took it and rubbed the top of it with his other hand. "What is it that causes you so much sorrow child?" I slowly looked up just enough to catch his eye's. "Why aren't you angry with me?" I asked my voice shaking. He closed kissed the top of my hand and looked back at me "Angry? Why would I be angry with you?" I looked up all the way at him and he embraced the side of my face with his free hand. "Look at you, you are so beautiful child."I reached up wit both ands and held his hand tighter to my face. Tears began to fall and run down the side of his hand and right before they dripped onto the floor they disappeared. I closed my eye's wanting this love and comfort he was offering but in the fore front of my mind was all the things that made me...dirty. I AM whispered "Child". I opened my eye's. I saw his eyes fill up with tears and when that first one fell the whole temple shook. Still kneeling on one knee in front of me he quickly embraced my face with both hands and looked deep into my eye's. So deep I felt he could see my soul. His eye's where not like human eye's but the looked like glass with a hint of light blue. In his eye's you could feel the love, you could feel the peace and freedom, you could feel them in a way you or I could ever experience here on earth. He got close to my face, He whispered "You, all I see is you. All this other stuff...child it's not you. You are innocent in my eyes, pure, holy." When he said holy my face contorted trying to hold back the mounting of tears. I finally whispered "Holy?" He kissed my forehead and in a fun kinda way to try and lighten the mood he said "Yes, and yes again and again and again forever!" We both chuckled and He stood up and reached out his hand. I took it and he said "Never be afraid to come and be near me...ever." I was of comforted by his words but still held the thoughts of "What if I?" He and I hand in hand walked to the edge of the maroon rug. We stopped a moment and he looked down at me and smiled, I was still a mess covered in all the things that tried to take me down and label me...dirty." I looked down at my toes and slowly put just them on to the rug. I wiggled my toes and wondered if He had stopped just so I could do this. I enjoyed that moment more then I can say, I don't know why but it mattered to me. Then I looked up at him and we began to walk out onto the maroon rug. When I set my foot onto the rug all the dirt fell to the ground an disappeared. As we walked I was looking at my arms and dress where like new. I touched my hair with my free hand and looked up at him. I AM smiled and said "There you are! Do you see what I see?" I looked to the front and we came to the bottom of the steps. He knelt down on one knee and took both my hands and said "This is a safe place for you to run TO not to run FROM." He kissed my forehead and it al faded.
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