Blue wall 01-2014

Blue Wall

I was eight in this encounter wearing a long white robe. I found myself standing in front of a very old, paint pealing, light blue wall. I put my hand out and touched the wall, resting my hand over the pealing paint. I began to inspect the wall, looking it up and down, taking note of all its blemishes. I saw a hand placed next to mine. I turned and saw I AM. His hand was so close to mine they where touching. He whispered my name then asked "What is wrong child?" I turned my face back to the wall then down at the floor, "I don't want to talk about it, not with you." A tear fell from my eye to the dirty cement floor below. He lifted his hand off the wall and placed it over mine. "I know your thoughts, so why not speak them?" I closed my eye's I felt anger begin to rise, But I pushed it back down. I took a deep breath and said "So listen to those then." I pulled away from the wall, turned around and slide down to the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my arms. I AM turned and sat down next to me, he sat close enough to we where touching. He didn't say a word, I thought he would try to get me to talk but instead he just sat there with me. After a while he stood, reached out his hand and said "Come with me I want to show you something." At first I went to get up on my own but got caught in my robe and fell back down. He said "Please" I looked at him and sighed, then I took his hand and he helped me to my feet. I began to brush the dirt from the floor off my cloths, "what do you want to show me?"  He made a fist and held it out to me palm up, he took his other hand and put it under the other. The he slowly opened his hand and in it was a human heart, it was beating and glowing. I AM said "I want to help your heart heal. I want to replace all your sorrow with joy, your pain with healing, your life with passion." I stood there a moment then I looked at the wall and said "You can't fix me, no one can." He interrupt my thoughts with a whisper of my name, the whisper touched the very core of me and I turned back to look at him. I saw the heart begin to glow and then it disappeared. I saw my chest begin to glow and I could see the heart in my chest, beating. I then felt so much love rush through my body that I became weak and slowly fell to my knee's. I AM knelt down to meet my eye's and said "You get stuck sometimes when things seem too big, and easily overwhelmed by what seems impossible, Please know I am not judging you for that. Don't worry about gaining my approval by trying to look stronger then you are." He then got close and put his forehead to mine and whispered, "Lean. On. Me. Instead of the wall you have put up." He stood up and reached down to help me stand. When I got to my feet I looked at the wall and I AM placed his hand on my shoulder and said, "You are so focused on the wall, you didn't even see the door." He pointed off to my right, I looked and saw the door. I shook my head at myself, but instead of criticizing me he took my hand and walked me through it