Bride 12-28-14

God encounter

12-28-14

Bride

I'm standing in the first room of the great castle in heaven. I am about 16 years old, barefoot and wearing a beautiful embroidered light pink dress. I was standing in the middle of the circle on the floor. To my right into my left are the stairs that lead up to the long-haul of doors on the second floor. The only light was coming from the room before me the light is white and bright. I saw "I AM". Walk out of the bright light and stop just outside the circle. In his hand was a longstem red rose. He smiled at me and his eyes were so full of love. He said "my beloved daughter, the apple of my eye, the song on my heart… Will you dance with me?" I smiled and nodded yes he stepped inside the circle and he ran the red rose across my cheek. Then he took my hand and we began to dance cheek to cheek. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder as we danced and swayed. I open my eyes to see the glowing cloud of glitter and gold all around us. The moment was so private and so intimate. There was a strong connection of love and adoration over me like I've never felt before. I reached out with my hand to touch the glitter in the cloud. When I touch the glitter it shone bright for a moment then back to the way it was. He stopped, took my hand and we walk towards the room filled with light. When we stepped through we were in a mighty throne room. There was a massive silver glass colored thrown before me. The seat was covered in red velvet. There were also two other thrones the same glass colored silver one to the left and one to the right there were three steps leading up to these thrones. There were two massive type lion peace with eight eyes lying on the floor before the steps up to the throne. They had a main like a lion and wings brown and black like an eagle.  When they roared fire came from their mouths. As we walked closer they begin to back up and covered themselves with their wings. I saw glowing bodies of yellow light above us and they had their eyes covered with their hands. They were singing over and over "holy is the one who's voice created me, who created all things." There were 12 of these bright yellow glowing bodies above us we got to the bottom of the steps and my clothes changed into a rich Royal dress, I had a robe tied around my shoulders. The robe was red velvet with soft white for to line the edge all the way around it. A crown was on my head. "I AM" said "go child, you were made for this." I became excited and lifted my dress enough to walk up the steps before me. I could feel the cold stone beneath my feet as I made my way to the top. When I got to the top I stood before Jesus, he reached out and embraced my face and he kissed my head then said "how beautiful and spotless you are, how loved you are…you are loved beyond all measure. You are my bride, your clean, pure, innocent… Beloved." He knelt down and presented me with a beautiful long stemmed rose now I had two. Jesus then pulled a ring out of his pocket and placed it on my finger. "I AM" begin to speak in the glowing bodies of yellow light silence and like a rush of the sea his words came "what I no man can separate." The glowing bodies laid face down on the ground around his feet Jesus stood and took my hand and he said "my beloved bride walk with me"

God Encounter 11-13-14 Diamonds

Diamonds

I was standing at the foot of a massive mountain, I looked around and noticed I was at the foot of the mountain and behind me was a forest. I looked at the mountain and saw a large dark opening a little ways up from where I stood. I looked down at my white dress with embroidery on it and thought I might get dirty. I didn't know what the inside was like either, so I wondered how this would go since I was barefoot. I began to make my way to the entrance of cave. When I got closer I noticed the entrance was even bigger then I thought. Just before I made my way in I felt a strong breeze blow past me and I heard a whisper in the wind, it said "go." So slowly I made my way over the jagged rocks to the mouth of the cave. I noticed that the jagged rocks didn't didn't hurt my feet at all. When I got to the mouth of the cave I stood there a few moments and looked at the entrance. I could see that it was so dark I couldn't see very far into the cave. I felt a strong wind blow out of the cave and swirl around me. then it blew right past me. I stepped forward into the dark cave. when I got in a little ways I could no longer see. I reached around me trying to find a wall in the complete darkness that now surrounded me. When I could not find the walls I knelt down on one knee and touched my hand to the ground. I gently spoke to the Spirit and said "I know you are with me...please help me find the way, light my path." I looked up into the darkness and I saw flames appear on the wall a few feet in front of me. The flame was on a torch that was mounted to the wall.  I saw the Spirit standing next to the torch, when he touched the unlit one in his hand to the lit torch on the wall I saw torches as far as I could see lit up on the wall. I stood up and the Spirit began to walk towards me and he disappeared. I noticed in the fain light I was now covered from head to toe in dirt. I wasn't sure how it happened but it looked like I had rolled on the dirt floor. I began to walk forward farther into the cave. I walked for a long long time going through twists and turns. I then saw a small entrance off to my left. I walked over to it and squeezed through the doorway into this small room. When I got into the room I saw a huge pile of coal. My best guess is it was 30 feet wide and just as tall. I walked over to the coal and picked up a few pieces and looked at them. As I held them I became extremely sad. I thought "this is what I feel like." I tossed the coal back into the pile and I climbed onto the pile and sat there a while. I felt sad and dirty, like I was worth nothing. I laid down on the coal and began to cry. My chest began to glow and I heard "I AM" call out to me. I didn't turn to look at him. He then walked over to the pile and made his way to me. When he got to the top he sat down next to me. He placed his hand on my head and said "you really don't know your worth do you?" I turned and sat up. My face covered in dirt you could see the tear stains on my cheeks. I picked up a piece of  coal and looked at it, I sighed and tossed it back into the pile. I noticed too a piece of my dress tore off and I dropped it onto the pile of coal. "I AM" reached out and picked up the piece of my dress I dropped. He took the piece of my dress and placed it in his pocket, then he pulled out a clean white cloth and said "Child...watch this" I AM wiped the coal with the cloth and then wrapped it around the coal, he then placed it in my hand and told me to unwrap it. The cloth had turned into a diamond. He said "child,  you might see yourself as worthless and dirty, but I see much more then that....I see your true worth. You child are worth more then precious stones....more then you will ever understand. Give yourself time to learn these things." He took the cloth from my hand, he then held out his other hand and in his palm appeared a small amount of water. He took the cloth and soaked up all the water. He turned towards me and began to wipe the dirt off my face. He smiled and said "You are beautiful, perfect, and loved....don't forget that. Things may seem dark and confusing right now but trust me that they will get better. I have a plan....so don't give up." He kissed my  forehead and every piece of coal in the pile turned into diamonds. I AM looked at me smiled with such love and said "soon you will see what I see...you will

Gift 11-11-14

Gift 

I am standing outside a shop looking in the window. I am wearing a heavy winter dress that is made of a soft velvet type material. I have a long red cloak on with the hood over my head. There is snow on the ground around me but not around my feet. There is a circle of green grass around my feet which are bare. In the window I see a Christmas tree with lights and decorations. I see a big long table with food and candles. I watch as people enter the room and begin to welcome one another and begin to sit at the table. I look down at my feet and turn to my right. I began to walk away from the window, as I walked the snow began to disappear all around me. Green spring like grass began to spring up all around me. As I walked away  the wind picked up and it began to snow again, and this time the wind began to blow hard. I pulled the hood of my cloak over my face as I walked. It got so windy and hard that it was hard to see, but I kept walking. I looked up for just a moment and I saw a flickering light, it looked like a small flame from a candle. I stopped and tried to focus on it in the flying snow. I looked behind me but my tracks and the green grass where covered in snow. I sighed and just watched the flame for a moment. I felt distant and reluctant to move towards the flame. I then saw the Spirit walk out of the flame towards me in the blowing snow. His eyes where like a clear/whitish fire. His hair whiter then the snow. His white robe blew in the wind and his hood covered his head. He came up to me and asked "what are you doing out here child?" I looked back towards where I could only guess was where the building had been, then back at my feet. He put his hand on my shoulder and said "you will soon learn to leave those feelings behind, for they are not true." I looked down at the ground, but He lifted my head and kissed my forehead. I felt warmth and comfort flow through my body. He looked me in the eyes and said "your dream is a reality...it just might not look the way you want it to."  He took my hand and said "come let me show you." We walked towards the flickering light. I began to feel the warmth from the small glow as we got closer. We stopped in front of the flame which even standing in front of it was hard to see with all the blowing snow. It was a small decorated candle on a white pedestal. I reached out to touch the flame and the next thing I saw was a table I had seen before in heaven. It was a long long table. Only this time the people at the table I knew. They where all laughing and talking. Sharing food and drink together. The Spirit and I walked this long table to the far end. At the head of the table sat "I Am", Jesus at his side on the left. I noticed the empty chair next to "I AM" that was always waiting for me. "I AM" motioned for me to come and sit by him. The Spirit pulled out my chair and I sat down. I took the hood off my head and watched as those closest to me laugh and talk with Jesus and each other. "I AM" touch my hand and he said "I know what you have been thinking, and I feel every thing you do." He had a folded blanket next to him on the table and he pushed it over to me and he said "family is more then what you understand, you understand the physical form. But I tell you child, all of you where paid for by the same blood...you all came under the same inclusion and adoption." He gestured to those at the table and said "this is your family...the one thing you have longed for, searched for....ached for. Just because you where not "born physically" into this family doesn't mean they are not your family. You...all of them, they are my kiddos" he smiled when he said kiddos. He stood and took the corners of the folded blanket and held it up. It was a woven tapestry it was of a tree and each leaf had a name on it. I stood and walked over to the tapestry and touched it. I looked at every detail and I covered my mouth and began to cry. My name was on a leaf in the middle and it was surrounded by all the names of my friends. At the base of the tree was a stream. "I AM" folded the tapestry and gave it to me. He said "the family I have brought you into is more then what you understand. These are your brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers....you don't have to keep searching child, you already have it. You are loved way more then you know. Even by those who you have not seen face to face. You have been woven into a tapestry that cannot be undone. And each person plays a part in supporting, lifting up and loving the other." He reached out and pulled me close, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight and said "you are not alone....I would never let that happen." He kissed my forehead and held me tighter. 

Like a Star 10-16-14 During a car ride....

God Encounter 10-16-14 During a car ride....

Stepped out onto the patio of the garden,just outside the new temple. I saw "I AM" standing at the end of the patio by the wall that was waist high. He was looking out over the garden. The sun was beginning to set behind the mountains. I walked up to him. (I am about 10 yrs old in this) I touched "I AM's" hand and looked up at him. He put his arm around me and pulled me close. We stood and watched the sun set. I saw stars begin to appear in the sky above the colors as they faded. "I AM" reached down and picked me up. He pointed at the stars and said "look at how each one lights the sky." I looked all around the night sky. While i was looking I saw a shooting star, I pointed with excitement and asked "Papa did you see that?" he chuckled and said "Yes." He looked at me and asked "Did you see how it shined above the rest?" I smiled and said "Yes." He said "you are like that star. You child stand out among many. You draw attention to yourself because of the light and love you carry. you child (he touched his finger to my nose) you are carrying something the world around you needs." He put me down and said "come with me." We walked together back to the doorway leading to the new temple. When we walked through the doorway it lead into the first room of the castle. I looked around the room and I saw the massive stairs that lead to the long hall way full of doors. one stair case on my left and the other on my right. I stopped with him in the middle and looked all around me. I tried to take in all I could about this room. I felt different when I came here. I felt different then the old temple and new part of the temple. "I AM" knelt down and asked " what are you thinking child? know you don't have to be afraid to ask." I looked at him and "can I ask where we are? I guess I am afraid by asking it will all go away." He pulled me close and kissed my nose. He looked into my eyes and said gently "This is just a small glimpse into heaven. There is so much more then this. And no...it will not go away Just because you asked what seemed like a "hard" question. Child curiosity fuels the child-like faith in you. You know that need to ask questions and test all the boundaries? I put that sense of wonder in you" I put my hands on his shoulders and looked towards the light of the room in front of us and asked "can we?" He stood up and took my hand and said "of course we can." We began walking into the light. "I AM" said to me "stay close child." We walked into the light and I covered my eyes. When we came to the other side I uncovered my eyes, we were standing on a cliff. I looked down below us, I saw massive water falls everywhere flowing out onto lush green lands. In front of me I saw a chunk of land floating with a cloud wrapped around it. On the land I saw a beautiful yellow glowing temple, I could feel the heavy presence flowing from it. I looked at "I AM" and asked "Can we go there?" he nodded yes. I looked at the glowing temple and asked "but how?" He looked down at me and said "don't worry, I got this." He closed his eyes and I felt a breeze blow around us. I looked at "I AM" then back to the temple. I saw someone on a cloud floating towards us. As the cloud got closer I saw it was Jesus. when the cloud was in front of us Jesus put out his hand and bent at the waist and said "Why hello princess, take my hand and come with me." I smiled and reached out and took his hand. he helped me onto the cloud. I looked back to see if "I AM" was coming but he was gone. The cloud began to move quickly and when it did I lost my balance, but Jesus caught me before I fell. When we reached the glowing temple I heard a gentle humming in the air. I looked up and saw two columns one on each side of this yellow golden door. We walked up to the door and on it was written in hebrew "Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh" (I am that I am). The letters where carved into the door. The letters I noticed where warm to the touch. Jesus reached out and touched his hand to the door, when he did the letters slowly turned red and the door opened. We stepped inside the temple holding hands. In front of us a ways was two pillars one on each side and in the middle was a throne with 3 steps leading up to it. There was a brilliant white light coming from the throne and it was lighting the room. I saw a rainbow wrapped around the throne in a circle. Jesus and I walked in a little more. I let go of his hand and moved forward. As I walked the presence of God overpowered me and I fell to my knees with my hands on the floor. I noticed the white light slowly surrounding me and with each breath I breathed the white light flowed in and out. I began to feel so much love that I didn't have the strength to move forward. I looked up and I saw the out line of "I AM's" feet and the bottom of his robe. I could also see the outline of his hands, but the rest of him was all light. I then felt a hand on my shoulder and Jesus knelt down to meet my eyes. He said "come child, take my hand and I will take you to our father." I could barely reach out and take his hand. when I took his hand I had the strength to stand. I still saw the light flowing in and out of my nose and mouth as I breathed. Jesus held my hand and we walked to the bottom of the stairs. "I AM" spoke and as he did the light moved and pulsed with his every word. He said "child beautiful child, look how far you have come."I could still only see the outlines his face and chest where all light. The light consumed every feeling except his love. I fell to my knees, not out of fear or shame but because this love was overwhelming. "I AM" walked down to the last step and touched my head with his hand and said "Remember this feeling, remember and share it with the world around you." the light surrounded me till everything faded into it.

On the ark 10-13-14

Encounter with God 10-13-14

Encounter with God
10-13-14

This encounter I had during worship at The school of transformation tonight.

In this encounter I am about ten yrs old. wearing the white sun dress I have worn in other encounters. I was standing at the doorway that leads from the new temple (where I was) to the old temple where I first encountered "I AM". I touched the massive door with my finger tips and it opened. I walked into the old temple and I looked to my right and saw the Guardian type angel standing there. These are not small angels they stand 15-20 feet high.The angel smiled and lowered himself to one knee. He covered almost all of himself with both sets of his wings, so all I could see was his face. He said "Welcome child of light, daughter of the king." I smiled and said "thank you, but you don't have to do that for me." He studied my face for a moment, his eye's so blue and clear like glass. His eyes where full of life and they pierced my very being. He pulled back his wing a bit and said "it's not a matter of have to...I want to." he smiled at me then covered his face. I looked at the angel and all i could see now was his wings. I whispered "Thank you." he pulled back his wing so all I could see was his eyes and he said "You bear the image of your father. Child of light, do you not understand? You bear his image, his light...you bear the word. It is out of Love and respect that I do this." I walked over and touched his wing and asked "Then will you walk with me?" The angel stood and said "I will, but I can only go so far." so we walked the long platform the Ark of God sat on. when we got close to the ark, maybe 20 feet away the angel knelt down swiftly. He spread his wings all the way out and lowered his head. I asked " can you not come with me?" He said to me while looking down and said "This child of light is sacred and holy ground. I don't have the strength to enter into his presence." I turned and saw the ark. the top was glowing and burning with a extremely bright white light. I slowly walked forward and I stood before the ark. I heard "I AM"speak but I did not see him. He said "come...come and sit with me." I looked at the ark and I climbed on top of it. I sat with my legs crossed and placed my hands on my knees. the white light that was like a flame burned and the flames shot up and began to wrap around me like a tornado. I closed my eyes and the power of God swept over me. It was so intense that I began to shake. I placed my hands on the top of the ark and a ring like ripple went out from the ark. I looked up and saw those in the temple fall face to the floor.

Open your petals 10-9-14

God Encounter 10-9-14

In this encounter I am about 11 years old. I am wearing a dark purple dress with a white ribbon sash, and as always I am barefoot. I am in the new temple standing before the doorway that leads down the path that looks like glass but it's not. I study the landscape before me and I see the the wall where the city is. I sat down in the doorway, I felt deep sadness inside. The Spirit appeared behind me, I looked up at him then back to the landscape. He sat down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked down at the path and a tear rolled down my cheek. The Spirit put his arm around me and pulled me close. He took his left hand and turned my head gently to look at him. He said "Sweet....sweet child I heard every word. I see how wounded you are by them." I wiped the tear from my face and said "I'm fine...really I'm fine." He stood up reached out his hand and said "But you're not. come with me, I will take you to the father." I closed my eye's and said "I can't." and I began to sob. The Spirit whispered something and a breeze wrapped around me. I then saw everything around me fade into light, even The Spirit.  I stood up and began to walk forward. All I saw around me was light. I heard my name from behind and I turned to see "I AM" he had a gentle smile on his face. I looked down at the ground and closed my eye's. I fought back the tears but they began to roll down my face. He came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, he leaned in and whispered "What are you believing child?" I covered my face with my hands and just wept. He wrapped his arms around me and began to sing a song to me. He sang "Beautiful child, one I hold dear. Close to my heart I hold you, you never have to fear. As the world and all it has comes and fades away, my love for you will never change. be still sweet child, be still, though it feels like darkness I am still here." He sang it over and over as he just held me. after a while he stepped in front of me and I looked up at him. He said "You....you are not an orphan. I have never given up on you. I would never send you away or say you are too much trouble for me." He got tears in his eyes and said "BeLoved....that's what you are. The world and all it's distractions could never pull my eyes off of you." He embraced my face and said in a whisper "I have pulled you from darkness and surrounded you with those who would show you light....show you your worth. I put you in a beautiful garden of people who will help you grow and feel loved....so you could learn that I am love." he took my hands and said "understand child there are those who never experience real love. They will spend their lives searching for it....searching for it in things that will leave them feeling empty time and time again. then they take all that hurt and that loveless void and destroy others with it. Pray for them, forgive them and move on. You are like a flower who is waiting to bloom....open your petals and discover the sun. Discover all the flowers that are around you and learn to dance with them in the wind." He smiled and said "There are so many wonderful things yet to come. Leave the darkness behind you. Child you are a different person now....you have discovered love, real love lasting love........you have found me." He pulled me in and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest and held on tight. he kissed my head and said "and so begins a new you."

Encounter with God 10-3-14 prophetic

Encounter with God 10-3-14

I had an encounter with God where I was in a large room. In the front of the room stood 3 men dressed as Muslims. the room was full of what seemed to be normal people. The 3 men had guns and began to shout bow and worship Allah. Most listened the first time, some hesitated and looked around then slowly bowed down. I was watching all this laying on my stomach on a ledge above everyone in the room. When the last person knelt I stood up. The man in the front middle yelled "What did we tell you!! kneel!" I stuck my hands in my pockets and looked at him for a moment. He yelled it again "Kneel! Kneel or die!" I looked at him and calmly said "No" He began to yell at me in his language and then said "I will tell you one last time to Kneel!" I stepped down the first step in front of me I stopped and looked at the 3 men and said "I will not kneel, I bow to no one but My God. Know I am not afraid of you, you....can not harm me."The men got mad and aimed their guns at me and shouted "You will die for this!" as they raised their guns to shoot I just stood there, nothing happened. I slowly walked down the steps and walked over in front of them. I looked at the man and said "You can not harm me..." I turned and walked to the door. the door opened on it's own and I heard shots ring out around me, but I continued to walk at the same pace to the door. I stopped in the doorway, the shooting had stopped. I turned around and saw a Guardian angel standing between us. I looked at the doorway and saw a bullet hole in the wood. I ran my finger over it and looked up towards the front of the room where the men stood in shock. The angel walked over and stood beside me. I turned and walked out the door unharmed by the bullets that flew by me.

On a cloud 09-2014

God Encounter 2014

On a cloud 

In this encounter I am about 7yrs old. I was standing in the new part of the temple, before the three thrones. I looked to my right and saw the doorway leading to where the castle is. I walked over to the doorway. I noticed when I got to the doorway the wooden door was gone. I put my hand on the doorway and rubbed the wood where the door had been. I looked out over the landscape that was before me. I saw the path that lead up to the massive city surrounded by a extremely tall white wall. The path was clear like glass but it was not glass. I stepped onto the path, this time I was confidant and not scared. I began to walk the path alone to the gate. I saw two massive guardian angels standing at the gate, one on each side. They had a spear like weapon in their hand opposite of the gate. The angels also had two sets of wings. They had them stretched out covering the entry into the massive city. I stopped and looked at the angel on my left, he smiled at me and he looked at the other angel. They then got down on one knee and pulled their wings over themselves. The top wings covered the top half of their body and the lower wings covered the bottom half. I walked up to the angel on my left and I touched his wing. He pulled it back enough to look at me. His eye's where like blue ice and they pierced my soul. I asked him "Why are you doing this?" I could see the angel grin behind the wing and he said "Do you not understand? Child of light, you are the mirrored image of the father. All his love, glory and light surround you. We bow because you are royalty." I ran my finger over one of the large feathers on his wing and said "I don't feel worthy of your actions." The angel pulled his wings back enough so I could see his face and he said with a smile "What you feel doesn't change what we see....what we know as truth. We honor the father...and so we honor you, his Beloved." I smiled at the angel and he looked at me and said "Go....He waits for you." then the angel covered his face. I walked through the gate and when I got to the other side I turned and saw the two angels stand up and spread their wings across the doorway. I thought to myself "I am protected here, I am...safe." I turned and continued up the path past the white buildings to the bridge that leads to the castle. I stopped at the bridge and looked up at this castle that was too big and to mighty to really describe. From the front it seemed almost endless.I stepped on to the bridge and the brown wood slowly turned red. I am barefoot and I could feel the rough wood under my feet. When I got to the other side I walked up to the castle doorway. The doors on the castle where gone and the archway to the door was a brilliant blue. I walked into the castle and stood in this first room. To my left and right where stairs leading up to another floor. in front of me was a room covered in white light. The light was so bright I could not get close to the doorway to see in. I stood there a moment then I saw a figure in the light moving towards me. as the figure came out of the light I saw it was I AM. I run up to him and he picked me up and gave me a big hug. He put me down and knelt down to meet my eye's. He smiled at me and said "I am so happy to see you my child! Turn and let me look at you!" I spun around in a circle and stopped and we both laughed. He embraced my face and said "You are more beautiful then the last time I saw you!", he kissed my head and stood up. I AM took my hand and said "Come with me." We walked into the light I covered my eyes with my other hand because the light was too bright. I AM lead me through the light and then he stopped. I took my hand off my eye's and saw we where standing on a cloud. Below us I saw a cliff, like the top of the highest mountain. I looked down over the land and I saw streams, lakes, mountains, flowers, tree's and so much more. I stepped to the edge of the cloud and knelt down to see more. After a few moments I sat down and just let all the beauty sink in. I began to feel a breeze blowing on my face and my hair moved gently with it. I AM sat down next to me and said "Child....this is only the beginning. These things I show you there is no limit." I looked down at the cloud and then at I AM and said "I have seen so many things, so much beauty, life...I have even seen love. I am almost afraid to ask where we are because I don't want it to fade away." He reached out and pulled me onto his lap. I sank back into him and he said "This is just a small piece of heaven child, there is still so much to see....so much it would take an eternity to show you." He kissed my head and rested his head on mine and held me tight. I sighed and turned to look at him and asked "Why show me? I know people who are greater then I am..people who do amazing things. People who know your word back to front. Why me...of all the people who qualify..why pick me?" He looked down at me and tucked my hair behind my ear and said "What makes you think you have to qualify? Is there a contest I don't know about?" he chuckled and said "Child....I show you because I want to....because you are willing and want to see." He placed his hand over my heart and said "Your heart....is beautiful child." He pulled his hand back and on my light colored pink dress there was an image of a white daisy. I looked down at it then at him knowing what it meant and I began to cry. He wiped away a tear on my cheek and said with passion "You are pure....you are clean....child believe you are innocent. You are white as snow. I am not angry....nor have I ever been angry. I have perused you with much passion and love, because whether you believe it or not....I don't want to lose you. I love you too much to let you go." The tears where streaming down my face and I got up from his lap and fell on my knees "Thank you" I said in a whisper, then I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck. He wrapped his arms around me and just held me as I cried. When I was finished I looked at him, I studied his blue ice colored eyes and said holding back tears in a whisper "I love you Papa" he hugged me again. Then the cloud we where sitting on wrapped around us. We stood up and he said "come" I took his hand and we walked back into the light.

Your story 2014

God Encounter

9-19-14

I am standing before a massive tree. I look up and I see the leaves are so vibrant and green. I see the fruit is yellow and glowing. I look around and I see the rolling hills and fields of tall grass and daisies. There are no other trees anywhere. I turn and sit at the base of the tree. Under the tree is shade and a cool breeze. I notice a black book beside me and I pick it up. When I picked up the book water began to flow from the spot out. I looked at the book it had writing on the front but I could not read it. I opened the book and found the pages where blank. I then heard my name and I turned to see "I AM" he came around the side of the tree and sat next to me. He asked "What do you have child?" I closed the book and looked it over and I said "It's an empty notebook" I looked at him and he reached out for the book. I handed the book to him. He set the book in his lap and looked down at it and smiled. He opened the book and ran his hand over the page. When he did words appeared on the page and he said "This is your story, your life...." He handed the book back to me and said "you gave the power to someone else to write your story. You gave your passions away and let your flame fade." He smiled and paused a moment, I could tell he was fighting tears. He touched my face and said "Now you have taken that power back." I looked down at the book and a small flame appeared on the front. It was etched into the black leather cover just under the letters I couldn't read. "I AM" reached over and touched the book with his hand and the words I couldn't read changed. It said "Your Story." I opened the book and on the first page was written "With each step I am with you, guiding you and going before you." I turned the page and it was blank. I closed the book and I asked "Papa, I am afraid....and uncertain where to go and what to do." He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his lap. He put his hands over mine and we opened the book together. Then he said "That's why we will write this new story together." I leaned back into him and closed my eyes. I took in the feelings, the warmth and the smell of my Abba. He closed the book and wrapped his arms around me and leaned back against the tree.

my flowers 07-2014

My Flowers

 In this encounter I am 10 years old. I wearing a white embroidered dress that stopped just above my knees. The embroidered pattern on the dress was little flowers. They lined the bottom hem of the dress. I felt the warmth of the floor as I looked down at my bare feet and wiggled my toes. I looked around it was hard to see too far out from the table that was before me. It was a white rectangles table about waist high. The light in the room was from the four candles surrounding a silver plate in the middle. On the plate was bread and a wine glass half full of wine. I stood there, just feet from the table, and watched the candlelight as it danced and moved. I saw Jesus appear on my left and slowly walked over to the table. He placed both hands on the table and began to speak softly in a language I did not know. He closed his eye's and looked up, still speaking softly. He stopped and stepped back from the table. I then saw a small light wrap around the plate and cup. It slowly moved upward and disappearing a foot or two above the cup and bread. The light moved an flickered like smoke but it was just white light. Jesus took the bread and broke it. He handed me a piece. I put it in my moth and ate it. He took the cup and smiled at me. "You where worth it." Then handed me the cup and I drank some. He took the cup and placed it back on the plate. When he did the plate and all that was on it disappeared with him. I looked around and then I saw I AM walk in the room, he stood across the table from me, He had tears in his eye's. He said to me "Child, how beautiful you truly are! My beloved child, you have touched my heart." he stepped around the table and reached out his hand, and  I took it. He whispered  "Come with me." I saw a door appear and with his free hand he drew a line with his finger from one side to the other on the door. When he stepped back it became red the changed quickly to white and began to glow. The door then opened and he lead me by the hand through it.  We stepped into a field with tall green grass that moved softly from sized to side in the breeze. Speckled everywhere where tiny flowers that looked like daisies. We walked a little ways till we saw a large lake in front of us.  I AM stopped a moment looked down at me and smiled "I have something to show you." He then continued to the edge of the water. I stood and looked at the water a moment then stepped into it till it covered the top of my foot. I looked down at my feet and smiled as I enjoyed how it felt when I wiggled my toes.  I AM stood just behind me, his feet where not in the water.  When I looked up I saw three roses floating towards me in the water. A red one, a purple one and a yellow one. I picked each one up and I heard him say "Child, I have kept everyone. I remember every single one." I looked down at the roses and began to cry, I turned toward I AM and said "I never thought they would really mean anything, I wanted so much to tell you I loved you and how thankful I was. Throwing the flowers into the water as a way to give back to you was all I could do. I felt so unworthy and never thought you would actually see or want them. It almost seemed....silly." I looked down at the ground and a few tears began to fall. He embraced my face and I slowly looked up at him. He looked me in the eye's and said "Child, it was more then just the flowers...it was your heart. I remember the very first flower you threw into the water. I remember how broken you where after all your earthly father had done. I remember you picked that dandelion and held it close to your chest and you closed your eyes and said "I don't really know you but thank you for finding me" then you threw it into the water... Child you where 7 years old." He kissed my forehead and tears streamed down his face and he said "Each and every time you gave such an offering over the years I have collected them. How simple and how beautiful...how unique." I looked down at the three flowers I held with tears still flowing. I said "You kept every one?" I began to sob, he wrapped his arms around me and said "Sweet child...I have kept everyone." I AM held me for a long time as I sobbed, Then he stepped back, knelt down on one knee. He took his hand and lifted my head so he could see my eye's. In his hand was a crown made of the wild flowers in the field. He placed the crown gently on my head and said "I...Love...You." he wrapped his arms around me again and kissed the top of my head, and in a whisper he said "I will never let you go."

Love letter

Love Letter

I am in the new temple. I am 7 in this encounter and wearing loose fitting long white dress. The sleeves on the dress were short and I was barefoot. I look around and see that I am standing at the doorway between the old temple and the new. In front of me to the right is the 3 thrones. Just to my left is the hall that leads down to the garden and the massive door at the other end of the hall. In front of me to the left of the three thrones is the door way that leads to the winding stair case that takes me to the fountain. 

I see The Spirit of God standing in front of me.  He reaches out his hand and smiles. So I take his hand and he leads me through the door and down the winding staircase. He stopped at the fountain that was still covered with vines and white flowers. The Spirit says "precious child....wait here." I watched him walk over to a doorway covered by a thick red curtain. He stopped in front of it and raised his arms. I saw the curtain was separated in the middle, like in a window. I watched as two Guardian angels stepped out and held back their side of the curtain. The Spirit stepped to the side and motioned for me to walk through. I slowly made my way to the door way. I looked at the two massive angels with two sets of wings as I passed them. When I passed them I looked up to the angel on my left and he smiled. I stepped just inside the doorway and I saw a big beautiful set of double doors. I slowly and carefully pushed open the door that was cracked open. The room was dark and was lit only by a candle on top of an old style writing desk.  I saw "I AM" sitting at a writing desk, he had a quill pen in his hand and he was writing. After a moment He stopped and turned to look at me....I became so overwhelmed by his presence I began to cry. He laid down his pen and turned his chair towards me. "I AM" smiled gently and said "dry your tears sweet one,I see you. Come inside the doorway, come close to me." He had his arms open wide and I slowly walked over to his desk. He kissed my cheek and embraced me. He then picked up his quill pen and put it into the container of ink. "What are you doing Papa?" He turned back towards me, took my hands put them together and kissed them. He looked at me and said I am writing you a letter." "A letter?" I wondered, why he would write me a letter? He smiled and turned to his desk, he folded the letter and took the candle off the top of the desk and brought it down just over the folded letter. I noticed the candle was red. He poured some of the melted wax on the crease of the letter where the folded part was open. He then made a fist with his right hand, he looked at me and smiled. I saw a ring on his ring finger and he pushed the ring he was wearing into the wax, sealing the letter. He held the letter a moment and a tear rolled down his cheek. He turned and handed it to me. he said go out to the garden and sit by the daisy bush....read this letter and when you are finished I will meet with you. He pulled me close and kissed my forehead. He tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and said "You are so beautiful my sweet sweet child....I love you, Now go, I will come to you soon" I looked at the seal on the letter and ran my finger over it. I looked at him and smiled really big. I turned and ran out the door. I ran up out the door past the angels to the the large winding staircase and down the hall to the garden door. I saw the daisy bush at the other end of the patio. The daisies still had a white glow around them. I walked over and sat on the bench just to the left of them. I ran my finger over the wax seal one more time. I didn't know what the symbol meant, but it was elegant. I then to carefully open the letter, Breaking the wax seal, and I opened the letter and began to read...

Sweet Child, BeLoved Child,

I have so many things I want to share with you. You touch a very special place in my heart. You often wonder what it is I think about you. Every thought I carry about you is beautiful. I see your smile and I can't help but be drawn to your beautiful face. Your song, your voice, your whisper, your thoughts they grab my attention and my heart is full of joy over you. You see your past, you see a worthless failure....I see a beautiful and brave daughter. You have pushed through all the trials and storms in your life, and never took your eyes off me. You look down on yourself for wavering in faith....But child you had faith. no matter how small it was or how big it has been....you always found me. You are beautiful, don't hide your face. Your life is a beautiful light, your heart bursts with love and song. You are my BeLoved daughter and you are learning to stand in that. You are allowing me to touch the deepest wounds and bring healing. You sweet child are becoming more beautiful every day.

I love you sweet child, beyond all things and I am proud of you. 

Love- Daddy.

I cried as I read through this letter, when I finished I held it with both hands close to my heart and just wept.  I saw I AM, he came over and sat next to me "You know child I could write forever about the love I feel for you. How proud of you I am. You are not the things you have believed for so long. You sweet, sweet child are so much more." I wiped the tears from my eye's and looked up at him "I thought you where angry with me." He pulled me close and held me tight and said "No more will you fear, no more will you pull back and hide. Now you know, I am not angry, I am here and I will ALWAYS love you. You now know and soon, sweet child, you will believe it." He kissed the top of my head and he pulled me into his lap. We sat for a long time while looking out over the garden. I began to feel peace wash over me and I sunk in to his embrace for the first time holding tight to his written words of love. He whispered as we sat there "I love you

Identity 06-2014

Identity 

I was standing in the new part of the temple. I was 7 years old in this encounter. I was wearing a white robe with no shoes. Where I was standing I could see the three thrones that where out in front of me to my right. On my left was the hallway where the door to the garden was. I looked around the massive room for a moment then turned to my left and walked slowly down the hall. I put out my right hand out and walked slowly with my hand on the wall. I felt the cool uneven texture to the wall and when I came to the doorway that leads out to the garden I stopped in the doorway. I stood there looking out over the garden and its beauty. I sighed and stepped out onto the patio. I leaned up against the stone wall and slid down pulling my knees to my chest. As I sat there I watched the birds fly over the trees. Then something caught my eye, it was a daisy bush about 20 feet from me. I sat and just watched the daisy bush move with the breeze. The flowers glowed with a white light. I felt the wind get strong and whip around me then it suddenly stopped. I stood up and I noticed the bush was no longer moving. I turned to my left and the The Holy Spirit was standing there. He looked down at me and smiled.  He reached out his hand to help me up off the ground. When I took his hand and began to stand He asked "Do you trust me?" I shook my head yes and replied "Of course I do. Holding his hand still he walked me back into the new temple. "Where are we going?" I asked. He smiled at me and said "walk with me." So we walked to the doorway leading back to the old temple. We walked the platform till we saw the ark. The room was dark except for the bright white flame that was on top of the ark. It lit up a large area where it sat. The Spirit stopped and let go of my hand. I looked at him and then the white flame dancing on the ark. When I got a little closer I noticed  someone was standing in the middle of the light. I tried to make out who it was but the light was so bright I had a hard time looking into it. I heard my name being called as one voice and it filled the whole room.  I saw the person in the light move and I saw a hand reach out to me. I stepped closer to the ark and took the hand. The light wrapped around me while I stood on the ground. The light and the person in the light came down to me. I now stood in the white flame face to face with the person in the light. It was I AM. He gave me a big hug then He said "Sweet child, I want to show you something."  The light still surrounded us as we began to walk. We walked to the front door's of the temple. I AM put up his hand up and the massive doors opened, then He looked at me and smiled. We continued out the front doors. When we got outside the light that was around us left.  I saw the mass of people outside the temple worshiping. They all wore blue robes and the songs they where singing where beautiful. I stopped and watched a moment. All these people with hands raised and singing songs. I looked down at my robe which was white, then I looked back at them. I asked "Papa, why are their robes blue and mine white? And why are we out here?" He embraced my face and said "Don't worry so much child, and don't try to be like anyone else. Keep your eye's on me. Come Child, I have something to show you." We continued on the white path away from the temple. I saw a massive cloud form out in front of us a little ways. When we got to the cloud we walked through it. The cloud became dark and it was hard to see. Then wind picked up and I saw lightning strike the ground not far from us many times. I grabbed on to I AM's arm with both hands and stopped. I began to cry because I was to scared to keep going.  I AM stopped and knelt down so he could meet my eye's. Even though the sound of the storm all around us was deafening I could still hear him whisper "Why are you so scared child, I am right here with you." He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and said "I am right here." He stood up and I again grabbed on to him with both hands as we kept walking. I saw the clouds began to lighten up and the storm stopped. We then walked out of the clouds to the other side where I saw green grass and a pond. The pond was muddy and the water wasn't clear. I looked at I AM and asked "Why are we here" he knelt down and motioned for me to kneel with him. So with out hesitating I knelt beside him. He said "Look at the water, it is so dirty and thick with mud. "Child what do you thin of this water? Do you think it can be used?" I looked at the water, it smelt like sewage and looked unusable. I shook my head and said "No, I don't. Who would use it?" He looked at the water then at me and smiled. He touched my face and said "Sweet child....This is how YOU see your life. you believe it's worthless and has no hope. Everything that you have gone through in your life you have allowed it to pollute who you really are. But even so, your life is not a waste" I looked at the water and said, "But this is how I really feel." He turned to me embraced my face with both hands and said "Sweet child.....What you see are lies. YOU are beautiful to me." I AM stopped a moment and closed his eyes. A tear rolled down his face and he spoke softly "I have seen your pain. I heard you cry and I have counted every tear. Child, you are not what you think you are, you are so much more. I want you to see what I see." he turned to the water and touched it with his finger the ripples that went out from his finger and slowly the dirt and mud disappeared. As the ripple got bigger the cleaner the water became until the ripple ring hit the bank of the pond on the other side. When the ripple touched the bank I saw flowers begin to pop up out of the ground and grow into full flowering plants all along the edge of the water. They began to bloom one after the other until it made it all the way around the pound. They where daisies and Daffodils. I looked at the water and it was so clear you could see the bottom of it. I saw fish swimming around. I looked at I AM with tears in my eye's and said "It's beautiful" he smiled and embraced my face with both hands got close to me and said in a whisper "This IS how I see you. I see you clean and pure, beautiful in every way! And so full of life. Child, I don't see the things you believe about yourself. I don't see what you see." he kissed my forehead and tears began to fall. Then He looked at me and smiled, "Every time I look at you I see my son and my heart leaps with so much joy and love. Know you are loved sweet child, because you really are. You are loved more then you know

Off the path 2014

Off the Path

I was standing on the maroon rug in front of the bottom step. I looked down at my bare feet and wiggled them a bit. I was 12 years old in this encounter, I was wearing a white short sleeved shirt and blue jeans. I noticed they where rolled up just above my ankles. I scrunched my face trying to understand why they where like that. Then I felt my spirit stir inside me and i looked at that first bottom step. I took a deep breath and slowly made my way up to the ark. When I got to the top I watched the white/clear flame dance and move like it was breathing all at once. I began to study the wings of the ark when the flame reached out and wrapped around me. I could feel my breath going in and out, but the sensation was the flame was breathing for me. I felt peace wash through me. I then stepped forward and touched the wings, I felt warmth flow through me. I felt consumed by God's presence in a way I never had before. I then heard a sound and looked to my left, through the flame that was wrapped around me I saw his eye's and the glow of his face. So much excitement and joy filled me tears began to fall. I saw him smile when I whispered "Jesus" He reached out his hand and the flame moved back over the ark. "Hello my sweet child." I walked over to him and he touched the side of my face with such gentleness. I closed my eye's enjoying his touch, His touch never frightened me or made me feel uncomfortable, it only made me feel safe. I don't fear his touch like I do other men. I noticed he too was wearing a white short sleeved shirt and rolled up blue jeans. He smiled at me and asked "Will you walk with me child? I have something to show you." I nodded yes and we walked past the ark to the doors leading into the new part of the temple, the castle. He lead me down the hall to the door where the garden was. We walked out onto the patio to the stone path leading farther into the garden. I looked around at the beautiful scenery, I loved the mountains off in the distance and the various flowers, some i had never seen before. We came to a part in the path where it seemed to split. Off to the right was a very narrow dirt path. It was barely wide enough for one person to walk down. The path lead into a thick patch of tree's, the greenery so thick you couldn't see very far into it. Jesus looked at me with excitement on his face and said "come!" He took off running down the path. I ran after him. It was not an easy task pushing through the brush and climbing over fallen trees. I tripped many times over tree roots sticking out of the ground, some where knee high. I tried to catch up to him but he was so far ahead i could only hear him moving through the brush and sometimes laughing. I thought to myself "Why on earth is he laughing? This is hard, whats so funny about it?" The path then ended in a small clearing. Jesus was catching his breath and when I stepped into the clearing he chuckled and asked "You ready?" I looked at him confused, "Ready for what? To go back?" He chuckled "No. No. No. To move forward" I looked back at the dirt path then at him "but the path has ended, how will we know where we are going?" Jesus put his hand on my shoulder and said "Don't think, just trust me." He turned and began to quickly make his way through brush that was up to his chest. I followed the best I could, I could hear him so i followed the sound of him moving. I tripped and moved as fast as i could when I stepped out to the other side. My mouth dropped at the site that was before me. The sun was setting and the sky was full of purple, pink, blue, and red coloring. The field was as far as the eye could see. The horizon lined with mountains and the field full of daffodils....for as far as you could see. I walked forward and stood beside Jesus, put his arm around me and said "In order to see the most beautiful things...you have to leave the path." He held me close and kissed my head as we stood there and watched the sun set. 

Stay down (satan) 2014

Stay Down

I was standing in the back of the old temple where the light was dim. I stood close to the doorway that lead outside where all those in blue robes sing. I was wearing a white robe that stopped just above my bare feet, i was 7 in this encounter. The light from the ark up front was all that lite this massive room. I watched the flame above the arc dance and move, often it looked like it was breathing in and out as it danced. I made my way to the front slowly, but before i made it to the maroon rug I saw a massive white angel appear before me. He was at least 20 ft tall or more. I saw he was beautiful, his glow was a bright white light. I saw glimpses of color in the light as he moved. Then I saw his hands, the where like black smoke. The moved and danced, like it was unable to maintain the form of a hand. I realized i had seen him before, he was the accuser. The accuser stepped in front of me and crossed his arms, "Where do you think your going child of light?" I looked up at him and said calmly, "Move demon." The accuser laughed "Who do you think you are?" I looked down at the ground and closed my eyes a moment, I looked back up at him and said "I don't have to answer to you, you know who I am." As he bent down to get close to my face he growled softly, "Indeed." The light coming from him was so bright I had to squint my eye's to look at him. His eyes where black as the void, he looked me over and said "Indeed I do, you have been nothing but trouble. I would love to see you destroyed child of light. One of a few I would personally love to CRUSH!" I took a deep breath my heart was pounding as a bit of fear rose up, but again I said to him in a calm voice "Move demon." He put his smoke like hand on my chest and pushed me, I flew back and landed back by the door where i had been standing. He pushed me back a good 10 ft or more. The accuser stood up and began to laugh at me. I felt pain when I hit the ground, but after a few moments I slowly sat up. Then when i began to stand the accuser got angry and began to yell at me "WHY WON'T YOU STAY DOWN?" When I got to my feet I brushed my self off and began to walk back towards him. I saw the Spirit appear a ways behind him off to the left. He nodded at me as if to let me know he was there. I stopped before the accuser and said once again in a calm but slightly irritated voice "Move demon." He reached down and picked me up by the front of my robe. He yelled in my face "STAY DOWN! WHY WON'T YOU STAY DOWN?" He threw me in the same direction towards the doors, but before i got too far an angel appeared and caught me in the air. The angel placed me on the ground. My heart was racing and I was frightened. The guardian angel that caught me glowed a bright yellow and he had to be 30ft tall. He pulled his sword and got into a lunging stance, his wings spread out. He was now between me and the accuser. The accuser let out a screech that sounded like many, you could see the fury in his stance. I then hear noises behind me, a clinging sound. I turned around and saw three angels with their swords drawn waiting and ready to fight him. The accuser pointed at me "You, you belong to me! You are stained, stained with...sin. The Great One, he has deserted you! Where is he? You are worthless child! You belong to ME!" When the accuser took a step towards us I heard a voice call out like thunder, so loud everyone covered their ears and we all fell to the ground. The temple shook and the angels protecting me Backed up behind me still low to the ground. They then bowed their heads and stretched out their wings. I was now on all fours with the accuser a few feet in front of me. I looked up at him and slowly stood up. The accuser stayed down on one knee with his wings pulled in. He growled softly as I AM walked past him making his way between me and the accuser. I AM was glowing bright white with light. I was in awe I AM was the size of a normal human man, he was standing before a 20ft angel and yet he was in control. He never spoke above a normal voice while addressing the accuser. I AM said in a firm voice "This is my house!" The accuser lowered his head and began to speak in an unknown tongue to I AM. After a few moment I AM said sternly "STOP!" The accuser looked up at him. I AM stepped a bit closed and in a firm low voice "What have I told you about this one? Remember your place, this is my house...be gone!" The accuser growled with disapproval and disappeared. I AM came over to me and took my hand and smiled at me. I looked back at the other angels still kneeling on one knee, heads bowed. I AM said softly to me "Come, you belong here with me." Hand in hand we walked to the maroon rug. When we go to the edge I hesitated and he knelt down to look me in the eye's, "Don't believe the lies. You are more then worthy to come into my presence...anytime. This is not a wavering relationship where when things go bad I walk away. If I am in you and you are in me, how can i walk away from myself?" A tear ran down my cheek and I whispered "You can't." He kissed my head, "I know its hard for you to believe and understand that, so just have faith that what I say is true. Rest in that, and know I love you." I AM picked me up and walked me to where the arc was. The light that danced above it reached out to us as he walked up the steps, surrounding us completely with light. 

Mighty Door 2014

Mighty Door

I was standing in the back of the old temple, I am eleven years old in this encounter wearing a white sundress that went down to my knees. I slowly began to walk out of the dimly lit area towards the maroon rug. I could feel the stone floor under my feet, it was cool but not cold. I walked out onto the rug without hesitation and made my way towards the ark. I felt safe and loved here, even though I have had my times of doubt, this was one place I knew I could come to and know I was accepted. I got to the bottom of the steps and watched the bright clear/white flame dance over the top. The light never went out, it was always there. I then seen an angel appear beside the ark. Her head slightly lowered, she then looked up at me "Come child of light, He calls you." I looked at the ark and asked "Where is he?" The angel said "He is where all things are new." I looked at her funny "Where all things are new?" The Angel replied "Yes, he is in the castle, and he calls you there." I sighed "Why doesn't he meet me here anymore? This place is where I met him, I don't understand" The Angel smiled "Come, he is calling you." I made my way up the steps and stopped next to the ark. I stood inches from the side of the ark and wanted so much to reach out and touch the light. The dancing flame above it didn't give off any heat. The Angel waited patiently as I stood there, I wondered why I AM didn't just come here to meet me. I then turned towards the angel, "I'm ready" The Angel and I walked past the ark to the doorway at the other end of the platform. I saw the two large angels bow and cover themselves with their wings. We stood before the door leading into the castle and I watched the red line appear across the door. When the door opened I heard I AM whispering my name. I looked up at the angel, and she asked "Do you hear him?" I smiled and ran through the doorway. I heard it close and lock behind me as I looked around the room to see if I could find him. I heard him whisper my name two more times and I followed his voice down the hall to my left. I went past the doorway for the garden till I saw a door at the end of the hall. It was a red door. The door was about 20 feet across and 30 feet high. The handle for the door was far beyond my reach. I could hear him calling my name over and over from the other side of the door. I looked around to see if there was another way to open it, but I couldn't find it. I tried pushing on it, but it was to massive to move. I began to scream back to I AM "I am here! I am here!" I began to bang on the door but the massive door made it difficult, the pounding didn't even make a sound. I got so frustrated I cried and kicked the door sever times. I then sat on the floor and wept as I heard him continue to call my name. I then saw my chest began to glow, I wiped the tears from my face and I heard from behind "you are trying too hard child." I stood up and faced the Holy Spirit. I looked at the door "He is calling me and I can't get to him." The Spirit said to me again, "You are trying too hard." I was frustrated and yelled "what are you talking about?" The Spirit walked over and placed his hand on my chest and said in a whisper "Peace child. You have to understand you are not meant to open this door." I began to cry I was so frustrated "then why is he calling me to come to him if he knows I can't get to him?" The Spirit walked over to the door and placed his hand on it, then turned to me and asked "Did you ask for help?" I shook my head no, "who would I ask? Can you open it?" The Spirit kissed my forehead and said "I know who can." Just then Jesus appeared and walked over to me and the Spirit left. Jesus embraced the side of my face with his hand, I grabbed his hand and held it tight. I asked him in a low and embarrassed voice, "Can you help me?" Jesus pulled me in and hugged me hard. He kissed the top of my head "Child, you don't have to fear me. I am not angry with you. I know you tried to do this on your own because you where afraid to ask me for help." He then knelt down and said "But I am hear for you, always have been and always will. I will help you get to the father." He stood up and took my hand, together we touched the massive door. We then heard rumbling and stepped back, I saw the red line appear across the door. I looked up at Jesus and asked "Your blood is the key?" He smiled at me and looked up at the door as it opened. I saw a red rug running from the door to a bright almost blinding light, in the form of a person, sitting on the throne. I heard I AM whisper my name and when he did the bright light filled with a rainbow of colors then back to white. The room had a yellow glow to it, I began to shake so bad I began to kneel on the floor. Jesus reached down and put his hand on my shoulder, I felt warmth run through my body and strength filled my body and I was able to stand. I became so overwhelmed with joy and peace threat tears began to flow down my face. I raised my hands, closed my eyes, and whispered "Holy, Holy, Holy."  The glowing figure stood up and walked down the three steps once his foot touched the floor the light dimmed down to a white glow. I saw His face, it was I AM.  His presence was so overwhelming that I think if Jesus had not had his hand I me I would have fallen face to the floor. I was not standing in my own strength, there was no way I could have. I tried to utter words to say to him, but could not. I AM walked over to me and stood before me, "Sweet child, don't be so afraid. I will not take my presence from you. Even when the way seems difficult, you feel alone and frustrated, I want you to know you are never alone. My son died for you so you could enter this place with out fear and shame. A tear ran down my face, I was still unable to speak. He embraced my face with both hands and said "I hear your thoughts, trust me when I say my son and his sacrifice for you was enough. You don't have to try to get here, or fight for me to come to you." He looked at me with such intense passion and said "I. Love. You." He kissed my head and it all faded away. 

Moon lit water 2014

Moon Lit Water

I was sitting by the water watching the sun slowly set. I watched the almost still water reflected the colors back to the sky. I closed my eye's and listened to the rustling of leaves on the tree's, it was faint but still beautiful. I opened my eye's and I watched a yellow butterfly dance in the light breeze as it made its way to a small flower by the water. I was in such a peaceful place, though I didn't feel that same peace with in me. I was wearing a white sun dress that went down to my knees. It was embroidered with flowers all along the bottom, I was 12 years old in this encounter. I was barefoot and could feel the grass and dirt beneath my feet. I felt so distant and sad inside, so I drew my knee's to my chest. I felt vulnerable there even though no one was around. A tear rolled down my cheek and the pain and sorrow flooded me. I tried to push it off but I couldn't. Thoughts and memories flooded my mind and I tried to focus on the beauty before me. Tears kept coming, I couldn't stop them, I then heard a voice whisper my name. I didn't recognize the voice and I looked around but saw no one. The voice said "You where born unwanted, and you will die alone." I held my knees to my chest a bit tighter and rested my head on them, and sank into the feeling of being alone. I then heard a noise behind me and I heard Him whisper my name, I knew this voice. I could feel the peace in his voice pushing back the darkness inside me. I became embarrassed and buried my face into my knees. Jesus sat next to me, as close ass he could get. He was so close we where touching. He nudged me and I looked over at him, he said "You can try to pull away as much as you want, but I am not going anywhere." I looked out over the water, the sun was almost done setting over the horizon and you could see the line where the darkness was taking over where the light was leaving. Jesus wrapped his arm around me and watched with me. The sun was now completely gone but even though it was now night there was still light. I looked up an saw a full moon, it's light dancing on the water. It was bright enough it illuminated the entire area with it's fair glow, enough so you could make out the shadows but not enough to know for sure where you where going. Jesus, smiling, looked up at the moon as well and said, "Even in the darkness, there is light." He put his hand up and the moon was gone. I looked at him and "why would you do that?" He said "Just watch." As my eye's adjusted in the darkness I began to see faint light in the sky, stars. One by one till there where so many I couldn't count. "Just because you can't always see me, or feel me, doesn't mean I am not there. It doesn't mean all hope is gone." He looked at me and smiled "I am always there, everywhere...I am with in you. My thoughts for you are like the stars, they go on forever." I stretched out my legs and rested my hands on them. "Why does the darkness never seem to end?" He looked out to the horizon and and said "It. Seems. That way." When he smiled I saw the sun began to rise in the same spot it sat. I saw the beautiful colors slowly fill the sky pushing back the darkness. I watched with wonderJesus stood up and reached down to help me up. I took his hand and when I stood the sun had fully risen. Jesus put his arm around my shoulder and pointed to the sky "You want to know something else?" I looked at him and nodded yes. He said "though you cannot see the stars, they are still there." He turned towards me and embraced my face, "You are never alone, in your good days and even in your darkness...I am always there." He kissed my forehead looked into my eyes, I saw tears fill his as he whispered "I love you."

Long hall #2 2014

Long Hall

I was standing at the end of long hallway. I was 10 years old in this encounter wearing a long white robe. I looked down at my bare feet,  the concrete was so cold under them. I looked down the hall, it was so long I couldn't see the wall at the other end. It was also very dim, you could see rays of light coming from doorways down the hall, which made it at least lit enough to see. I noticed the white paint on the walls where old, dirty and peeling. I noticed the tile that once covered the floor was mostly gone. There where broken pieces all over, they where a robin's eggshell blue and spoke led with white and red. The hall reminded me of an abandoned building. I wasn't sure why I was here but I began to walk down it with my hand on the wall. As I walked my hand brushed paint chips onto the floor, I looked at them briefly and kept walking. When I came to a door I just passed by it and replaced my hand on the wall and walked. I walked a long time before I saw a door mon my left, it had a number above it on a small metal sign, it read "23". I looked back down the way I came and the doors I could see didn't have a number above them. I turned around to the room opposite of this one and it didn't have the number either. I also noticed that room was completely empty. I turned back to this room with the numbers on it. When I walked in I saw that the windows where high, a goo 20 feet high or so. I saw the rays of sunlight shining through the windows onto the wall to my right, It was an old brick wall. It looked like someone had tried to cover it in layers of wall paper, which was mostly gone and much of it on the floor in front of the wall. I felt a tug inside to reach out and touch it. When I did, words written in black formed in a cursive style hand writing, It looked to be written in a black chalk.  The words read "I know child, and I hear you." I stepped back a moment then anger, hurt, sadness washed over me and I took my hand and wiped it across the words fast, trying to wipe the words off the wall. The began to smudge but did not wipe away. Tears of hurt and anger ran down my cheeks and I kicked the wall and screamed. I stood there crying when I heard my name whispered from the doorway. I didn't recognize the voice. I turned and saw no one standing there so I made my way into the hallway. I looked into the empty room across from the one I was in, but it had changed. There was now 4 old fashioned medical beds that lined the wall to my right. The beds didn't have a mattress, so the springs where exposed and rusted. Before me where two very tall old windows covered with news paper and paint to block out the sun. The walls in this room where much like the ones in the hall except they had a yellow tinge of color to them. I stood in the doorway to this room and looked around, this room had a heavy feeling to it. I heard my name whispered several more time from the room, again I did not recognize it. I then heard my name whispered from down the hall, I stepped out of the doorway and back into the hall. Again I heard the my name whispered from the other end of the hall, but this voice I recognized. I looked into the room with the 4 metal beds, part of me wanted to go in there, it felt familiar in a way. I looked back down the hallway and took a step. I saw a door appear a few doors down in the middle of the hall with bright light coming from behind it. I took another step and heard my name whispered from the room with the metal beds, I turned and looked into the doorway and whispered back "It's a lie," I heard a loud screech, it sounded like many, and the metal grey door to the room slammed shut. I walked down the hall to the door that appeared, It had no handle but I reached out and touched it with just my finger tips and the door opened. The light was so bright I shielded my eyes as I walked through it. When I made it through the light faded and I was standing in a garden full of flowers and trees. Before me stood Jesus, he was holding a soft glowing pink rose to his nose. He smiled and I ran to him, he picked me up in his arms and handed me the pink rose. He kissed my nose and said "Soon you will see, there is peace with me." He turned and walked farther out into the garden with me in his arms. 

The Offer 2014

The offer

I was standing in the doorway leading out to the garden in the new temple. I had on a long white robe that stopped just above my bare feet, I was maybe 8 in this encounter. I felt nervous and vulnerable so I took my hands and put them inside the long sleeves of my robe, trying to hide the shame I felt. I looked at my now hidden hands then back out to the garden. I saw at the edge of the stone patio a large bush of daisies, they where closed, not one of them was open. Jesus walked around them gently touching them, as he touched them they slowly opened up and began to glow a soft white light. He picked one of the daisies and looked up at me, "Come child." He had a smile and seemed peaceful. I felt chaotic inside, I felt shame beyond words. I looked around then down at my covered hands and slowly walked over to him. Jesus said in a soft voice, "I am so glad you are here." I felt embarrassed and looked down at my feet, I didn't say a word to him. All I could do was try and hold back the food of tears, which I failed horribly at. The began to stream down my face. Jesus knelt down to one knee. He caught my eye's enough that I looked up at him, "Sweet child, talk with me." I fell to my knees and buried my face into the robe that covered my hands, "I can't, I am so sorry." Jesus placed his hand on my shoulder "Sorry for what?" I couldn't answer him. He wrapped his arms around me kissing my head and whispering "I love you." I pulled back and through the tears I said "You already know, why do I have to say it?" He touched my face "It's to help you heal. Speak the words, it will shine light on the very thing that binds you with shame. Once light shines on it, it has no power." I shook my head side "No...not this I can never speak this." I felt terrified inside, I stood up and began to back away from him. Jesus stood and said "That thought you are having, it's a lie" I stopped backing up. Jesus looked down at the glowing daisy in his hand then back at me "You try to hide so much from those around you, from people who want to help. This one memory, it's destroying you. I see the shame it has cast on you, I see your fear and pain, I see it all." He took the daisy and extended it to me, "Please child, accept my forgiveness." I was reluctant but I slowly reached out and took it. "There will be a time, a place, when that darkness will come to light. Once you share it you will see just how loved you are. You will see me in every moment of it. I know you are not ready now, but it will come." I looked the flower over then up at Jesus, he smiled a little and a tear ran down his cheek "I wish you knew just how much I love you and how much you mean to me." I took a few steps towards him, inside I really just wanted a hug but was too afraid to ask for it. I looked up at him and he moved towards me. Jesus wrapped his arms around me and held me tight as I buried my face into him. He kissed my head and said "I love you, no matter what"

Words that fell off 03-2014

Words

I walked into my bedroom and turned off the light. I am 34 years old in this encounter. The room was barely lit by the light of the moon outside. I opened the top drawer of my dresser and searched for a tea light candle and my lighter. I put both my hands on the top of my dresser and lowered my head and let out a big sigh. I was shaking from feeling overwhelmed with stress and guilt. I wanted so bad to believe all these words I was told I was, good, clean, innocent, righteous, victorious, Beloved....the list went on and on. What I was saying and what I believed where in such conflict it was taking a toll on my body. I saw stands of my hair fall onto the dresser, the stress was making it fall out in handfuls. A tear of shame and frustration ran down my cheek and I looked up at the white board on the wall. I had started writing 5 positive words down for every negative one I thought....this in itself became a draining and endless task. I pulled out the candle and the lighter and shut my dresser drawer. I placed the candle down and lit it, the light seemed so bright in the darkness. I saw the words I had written down on the board. I had written a verse on the top Colossians 2:2-3, under it was "I AM" loves you no matter what and Beloved daughter I love you no matter what, Jesus. I just stared at the words, I felt so empty, angry, frustrated that no matter how hard I tried....I could not believe them.  I grabbed a permanent marker and began to write the words on my arms, chest and thighs. Tears of frustrations ran down my face and I threw the marker across the room, I felt so hopeless. I looked down at them and I felt...nothing. I stood up feeling cold and empty inside, disconnected from everything around me, especially from God. I wanted so badly to believe them, I just couldn't. I stood there feeling lifeless looking at the words on this board, tears rolling down my cheeks but there was nothing left in me, I felt nothing. Weak and shaking I fell to my knees, "where do I go from here?" I thought. I then saw the flame on the small candle flicker and I looked up to see The Spirit of God standing there. He was in his white hooded robe with the hood pulled over his head, I looked into his flaming clear/white eyes, I couldn't say anything. I looked down and all the good and positive words I had written on me slid off and on to the floor. I closed my eye's because a sadness I had never felt before came over me, a darkness so dark I thought I would die. I opened my eyes and watched as the Spirit picked them al up, he held them in his hands out in front of him. He looked up and whispered some words and a white glowing robe appeared in his hands. On the robe where the words, Innocent, pure, clean, Beloved...and so on. He stepped behind me and knelt down, he wrapped the robe around me and held me. He whispered over and over as I cried, "You are Loved, and those things now and forever are true. You are not alone

Forgiving unforgiveness 02-2014

Forgiving the Unforgiveness

I found myself in the back of the old temple, I had on a long white robe and my feet where bare. I stood in the dim lit area for a moment, in my hands was a small red box that I held tightly to my chest. I walked over to the edge of the maroon rug and looked down at it, I took a step back from it and saw there was a few feet between the maroon rug and the columns. I looked up at the alter and watched the white flam dance and move, in that moment I felt deep sadness and was struggling with just feeling "okay." I made my way around to the side of the rug and walked to the front between the columns and the maroon rug. When I got to the second to last column I sat down, I drew my knees to my chest and held the little red box so tight to my chest my hands hurt. I saw Jesus appear next to the ark, the white flame was surrounding him as well as the top of the ark. He began to walk down the steps and the flame remained on him but separated from the ark. When he got to the bottom of the steps he stopped and the flame faded, he was now glowing a soft white. He looked over at me with a soft smile and concern on his face. I scooted around to the side of the column and pushed the box down between my knees and chest. I wrapped my arm around my legs so he could not see it at all. Jesus walked over to me and as he went to step off the maroon rug it stretched out in front of him so his feet never touched the actual floor. With each step it stretched out till he stopped in front of me. He then reached down and touched the rug and it appeared under me and all around the column. I watched as it did this with amazement, as I was now sitting on the rug. There was no gap between me and it any longer. He didn't say a word he just sat down next to me on the rug, so close we where touching. My heart was beating hard and fast in the silence. Jesus then whispered "Why are you hiding?" I pulled out the red box and held onto it so tight you could see my knuckles turn white. Tears began to roll down my face, I couldn't stop them. He asked in a soft gentle voice "Why are you so afraid child?"  I choked out the words "I am afraid to let you see, I am afraid you will punish me and send me way." The tears fell faster and I laid my head on my knees and sobbed. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. "I already know what is hidden in the box, things you think I can't see. I will never force you to share them. I am not here to judge you, I am here to love you and let you know you are not alone." He kissed the top of my head and I looked up. I took the box and looked it over. I whispered "I had no choice, and I hate him for it." Jesus looked at me with love and said "give it to me, I will carry the weight for you." I whipped the tears from my face and said "why would you want to carry it?" He kissed my forehead and said "because I love you." I looked down at the red box and said to him, "there is a lot of anger and hate in this box. Thing I could never talk about, (clears throat) not even to you." I stretched out my legs in front of me and put the box on them, "I don't know how to give those things to you, but if you want them you can have them." Tears began to flow down my face again. I looked at him and said "I just don't want to talk about it." He whispered back to me "I know." He reached down and touched the top of the box and said "open it." I looked at the box then to him and asked "I don't know if I can." He reached down and slowly opened the box, and I saw two daisies inside. I was caught off guard and reached into the box pulling them out, "How??" He looked at me and touched my face with his hand and whispered, "I forgave your Unforgiveness long ago." He pulled me closer with his other arm and he held me for a moment. He rested his head on mine and reached down took the two daisies out and handed them to me. I looked them over admiring them, It felt good to know I was safe here. That he was not angry and instead of scolding me and casting me aside he instead drew me closer to himself. I whispered back to him trying to hold back tears of relief "Thank you." He kissed my head again and said "I love you."

Peaceful

Peaceful

I found myself standing in the back of the old temple in the dim light. I had my arms crossed because I felt vulnerable standing there. I was 12 years old in this encounter, wearing a long white robe. I looked down at my bare feet then to the ark out in front of me. As I stood there I felt like the whole world knew what was going inside me, every thought, emotion, the total chaos. I watched the flame dace above the ark, too afraid to go forward. I turned back to look at the door leading outside to where those in blue robes stood. I saw the angel's that follow me standing there, one on each side. I looked to the angel on my left, but I said nothing. He looked at me and knelt down on one knee, "Child of light, what is wrong?" I wanted to look down at the floor but it was difficult to pull my glacé from his eye's, you could see and sense the life in them. There was so much peace and joy, something I was craving, needing. I swallowed hard, "I'm just nervous I guess." He looked me up and down, "How can you be nervous, here?" I tried to fight back tears and answer him, "There is just so much I don't want him to see about me is all, things can't even face." The angel reached out his hand, I placed my small hand on his extremely large hand, "He already knows child of light, yet he has never held it against you." He looked up at the ark and said with a smile, "And he waits for you." The angel stood back up straight and tall, then looked down at me and said "Go to him, he waits for you." I smiled back at the angel, then slowly turned to see Jesus standing in front of the ark smiling. I crossed my arms again feeling like I needed to protect myself for some reason. I lowered my eye's and walked toward the maroon rug, as I did I didn't really think about whether or not to step on it, I just did. I followed the rug up to the steps and stopped, still not looking up, I just stood there. Things, images flooded my mind. Horrible things I wanted so much to hide from him, to hide from myself. I felt exposed standing there before him, If there was a place to run I would have in that moment. But I heard him whisper my name "Casie" I looked up, he had not used that name in a long time. It resonated deep inside me and called to something I could not explain. He slowly made his way down the steps and stood on the last one and he reached out his hand. I looked at his hand, the hole that was there was not bloody, it was just a whole. I reached out slowly with the tips of my fingers to touch it. I was so nervous I was shaking. I touched it gently with the tips of my two fingers when he said to me, "There is nothing to fear here, there is no judgment." I pulled my hand back quickly, "I'm sorry I should not have done that." He smiled, "No need to worry, it was an invitation child. I want you to see and to know there is nothing between us, at all. There never will be." I crossed my arms and looked around the temple, "Then why do I feel so much fear and chaos?" He stepped down off the last step and reached his hand to me, "Will you walk with me?" I reached out and took his hand "yes." Holding hands we walked up the steps past the ark. I looked back for a moment at it, with a small sadness in my heart. Jesus lead me to the two large doors to the ne temple. The angel's this time did not bow down and cover themselves, instead they had long trumpets the lifted and began to sound out. The doors opened and we walked through, once through they stopped and the doors closed. I let go of Jesus' hand and walked over to the door. Trying to understand what it all meant. I reached out and touched the door with my hands, thinking about the safety and security I felt back there. Jesus called my name and I turned around, "Why do we keep leaving that place?" He smiled and motioned for me to come to him. With a heavy sigh, I turned and went to him. He put his arm around me and said "I have something new I want to share with you." We turned to the left down the hallway and came to the door where the garden was. We walked out onto the patio, to the far wall that was waist high. We stepped onto the path leading out into the garden. I noticed the sides of the path where now lined with all sorts of flowers. Jesus stopped on the path and said "let's go this way" He stepped through the flowers, not crushing or damaging one of them, and made his way towards the lake that was there. I followed him from behind. As we got closer to the lake I saw a line of tree's next to the water. We walked through the small line of tree's to the lake. When we got there I saw a hammock attached to two tree's. Jesus claimed inside it and motioned for me to join him. He pulled me close as the hammock gently rocked in the breeze. I laid there with my ear to his chest watching the water, it was almost so still it looked like glass. The day was warm but in the shade it was cool. I could hear the rustling of the leaves in the breeze. I was so peaceful and calm. Jesus kissed the top of my head, he didn't say anything we just sat there in the peace and calm of the moment. I began to feel the chaos of everything inside fade away and I soon fell asleep in his presence.

White Angel 2014

White Angel

I was sitting on my bed in my room looking at letters and pictures my kids had made for me. As I looked them over I became overwhelmed with sadness. I touched a picture with my finger tips, running them over their faces, wanting nothing more then to hold them. I hear a nosiness and looked up, placing the picture back down on the bed. I became surrounded by a cream colored cloud, when I stood up I realized I was now standing in a large cream colored room. I saw on the far side the Spirit, He smiled at me but did not move. Then I heard a low deep growl come from behind me. I turned to see a man standing there, his hair was white as snow, his eyes where all black and darker then night. I noticed his hands where like smoke. They kept the shape of a hand but yet moved around like smoke. I took a step back from him and felt really uncomfortable in his presence. The man looked me up and down as he walked around me, when he stood before me he whispered, "Child. Of. Light."  "What do you want?" I asked. He laughed "You." I looked at him funny and thought "Me? Why does he want me?" He took a step towards me looked me dead in the eye's and said "I know who you are child of light. We have met many times before, you. You have caused me great trouble! I want nothing more then to destroy you!" I looked past the man at the Spirit, he seemed unmoved by what was happening. He just stood there peacefully, not effected at all. I wasn't sure if I should be worried, but I did remembered the times before, he never let anything happen to me. The man then stepped between me and my gaze at the spirit, redirecting my focus back to him and saying "You follow. Him? Tell me child of light, what have you gotten from it? What have you gained? What do you have to show for this pathetic life? HUH?" I closed my eyes and began to whisper a prayer in a language I did not know, trying to refocus and shut him out. The man began to whisper to me "You think you can hide your guilt? Your shame? It is your fault! You deserved everything you got! I opened my eyes and looked at him, "You may whisper to me, but you. You are not my fathers voice." The man reached out and touched my shoulder, I saw black spots begin to cover my entire body. I stepped back as I watched them spread throughout, the man laughed and said "You will never be clean, you will never be whole! HE cannot fix you! You. Are. Nothing." When the the spots where done spreading I saw blood appear all over my hands. I looked at them and became upset, I tried to wipe it off on my clothes but it just rubbed blood into my clothes. I fell to my knees and began to cry while the man stood there and laughed at me. I was so afraid and felt so much shame I didn't even think to look the Spirit for help. I heard a loud thunder and the room shook, almost kicking the man to the floor. I looked up and saw I AM walking towards me. He was wearing a long white robe, the bottom and collar where lined with purple silk. He came and stood between me and the man. The man took a few steps back, pointed at me, and said in a hate filled voice, "You want this? What is it about her? Why protect this one?" I AM turned around towards me and knelt down to meet my eye's. "Child" He said with much love and concern. He leaned forward and kissed my head. He then stood and reached down to help me stand. I looked at my hands then to him, tears still flowing down my face. I AM whispered with a smile on his face, "I don't see the spots or the blemishes you see. Child it's an illusion, a lie. Child, all I see is you." I lowered my head to look at my hands that where covered in blood. I AM whispered again "trust me." I looked up and slowly took his hand, he helped me to my feet and quickly pulled me in for a hug. I felt so bad inside I didn't hug him back, but still he held me for those few moments. As he held me he said over and over "you are never, ever, alone." Then the man screeched in a loud voice that sounded like many. I AM let go of me and turned around, he got in the mans face and said in a stern, but low voice, "You forget your place! You have no authority here!" The man let out a low growl and I AM said to him "Reveal yourself!" The man backed up and let out another screech that sounded like many, then he turned into this massive white angel. He was so white and beautiful, but I noticed his hands moved like smoke. He was the same angel I had see in the temple once before. The angel pointed his finger at I AM and said with so much anger and hate "I will kill this one!" I AM sighed, "No...no you won't. Be gone! Now!" The angel bowed to one knee and disappeared. I AM turned towards me, he could see the drain in my eye's from the guilt and shame I felt. He embraced my face and touched his forehead to mine, and in a whisper he said in a whisper "You. Are. Mine