my flowers 07-2014

My Flowers

 In this encounter I am 10 years old. I wearing a white embroidered dress that stopped just above my knees. The embroidered pattern on the dress was little flowers. They lined the bottom hem of the dress. I felt the warmth of the floor as I looked down at my bare feet and wiggled my toes. I looked around it was hard to see too far out from the table that was before me. It was a white rectangles table about waist high. The light in the room was from the four candles surrounding a silver plate in the middle. On the plate was bread and a wine glass half full of wine. I stood there, just feet from the table, and watched the candlelight as it danced and moved. I saw Jesus appear on my left and slowly walked over to the table. He placed both hands on the table and began to speak softly in a language I did not know. He closed his eye's and looked up, still speaking softly. He stopped and stepped back from the table. I then saw a small light wrap around the plate and cup. It slowly moved upward and disappearing a foot or two above the cup and bread. The light moved an flickered like smoke but it was just white light. Jesus took the bread and broke it. He handed me a piece. I put it in my moth and ate it. He took the cup and smiled at me. "You where worth it." Then handed me the cup and I drank some. He took the cup and placed it back on the plate. When he did the plate and all that was on it disappeared with him. I looked around and then I saw I AM walk in the room, he stood across the table from me, He had tears in his eye's. He said to me "Child, how beautiful you truly are! My beloved child, you have touched my heart." he stepped around the table and reached out his hand, and  I took it. He whispered  "Come with me." I saw a door appear and with his free hand he drew a line with his finger from one side to the other on the door. When he stepped back it became red the changed quickly to white and began to glow. The door then opened and he lead me by the hand through it.  We stepped into a field with tall green grass that moved softly from sized to side in the breeze. Speckled everywhere where tiny flowers that looked like daisies. We walked a little ways till we saw a large lake in front of us.  I AM stopped a moment looked down at me and smiled "I have something to show you." He then continued to the edge of the water. I stood and looked at the water a moment then stepped into it till it covered the top of my foot. I looked down at my feet and smiled as I enjoyed how it felt when I wiggled my toes.  I AM stood just behind me, his feet where not in the water.  When I looked up I saw three roses floating towards me in the water. A red one, a purple one and a yellow one. I picked each one up and I heard him say "Child, I have kept everyone. I remember every single one." I looked down at the roses and began to cry, I turned toward I AM and said "I never thought they would really mean anything, I wanted so much to tell you I loved you and how thankful I was. Throwing the flowers into the water as a way to give back to you was all I could do. I felt so unworthy and never thought you would actually see or want them. It almost seemed....silly." I looked down at the ground and a few tears began to fall. He embraced my face and I slowly looked up at him. He looked me in the eye's and said "Child, it was more then just the flowers...it was your heart. I remember the very first flower you threw into the water. I remember how broken you where after all your earthly father had done. I remember you picked that dandelion and held it close to your chest and you closed your eyes and said "I don't really know you but thank you for finding me" then you threw it into the water... Child you where 7 years old." He kissed my forehead and tears streamed down his face and he said "Each and every time you gave such an offering over the years I have collected them. How simple and how beautiful...how unique." I looked down at the three flowers I held with tears still flowing. I said "You kept every one?" I began to sob, he wrapped his arms around me and said "Sweet child...I have kept everyone." I AM held me for a long time as I sobbed, Then he stepped back, knelt down on one knee. He took his hand and lifted my head so he could see my eye's. In his hand was a crown made of the wild flowers in the field. He placed the crown gently on my head and said "I...Love...You." he wrapped his arms around me again and kissed the top of my head, and in a whisper he said "I will never let you go."

Love letter

Love Letter

I am in the new temple. I am 7 in this encounter and wearing loose fitting long white dress. The sleeves on the dress were short and I was barefoot. I look around and see that I am standing at the doorway between the old temple and the new. In front of me to the right is the 3 thrones. Just to my left is the hall that leads down to the garden and the massive door at the other end of the hall. In front of me to the left of the three thrones is the door way that leads to the winding stair case that takes me to the fountain. 

I see The Spirit of God standing in front of me.  He reaches out his hand and smiles. So I take his hand and he leads me through the door and down the winding staircase. He stopped at the fountain that was still covered with vines and white flowers. The Spirit says "precious child....wait here." I watched him walk over to a doorway covered by a thick red curtain. He stopped in front of it and raised his arms. I saw the curtain was separated in the middle, like in a window. I watched as two Guardian angels stepped out and held back their side of the curtain. The Spirit stepped to the side and motioned for me to walk through. I slowly made my way to the door way. I looked at the two massive angels with two sets of wings as I passed them. When I passed them I looked up to the angel on my left and he smiled. I stepped just inside the doorway and I saw a big beautiful set of double doors. I slowly and carefully pushed open the door that was cracked open. The room was dark and was lit only by a candle on top of an old style writing desk.  I saw "I AM" sitting at a writing desk, he had a quill pen in his hand and he was writing. After a moment He stopped and turned to look at me....I became so overwhelmed by his presence I began to cry. He laid down his pen and turned his chair towards me. "I AM" smiled gently and said "dry your tears sweet one,I see you. Come inside the doorway, come close to me." He had his arms open wide and I slowly walked over to his desk. He kissed my cheek and embraced me. He then picked up his quill pen and put it into the container of ink. "What are you doing Papa?" He turned back towards me, took my hands put them together and kissed them. He looked at me and said I am writing you a letter." "A letter?" I wondered, why he would write me a letter? He smiled and turned to his desk, he folded the letter and took the candle off the top of the desk and brought it down just over the folded letter. I noticed the candle was red. He poured some of the melted wax on the crease of the letter where the folded part was open. He then made a fist with his right hand, he looked at me and smiled. I saw a ring on his ring finger and he pushed the ring he was wearing into the wax, sealing the letter. He held the letter a moment and a tear rolled down his cheek. He turned and handed it to me. he said go out to the garden and sit by the daisy bush....read this letter and when you are finished I will meet with you. He pulled me close and kissed my forehead. He tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and said "You are so beautiful my sweet sweet child....I love you, Now go, I will come to you soon" I looked at the seal on the letter and ran my finger over it. I looked at him and smiled really big. I turned and ran out the door. I ran up out the door past the angels to the the large winding staircase and down the hall to the garden door. I saw the daisy bush at the other end of the patio. The daisies still had a white glow around them. I walked over and sat on the bench just to the left of them. I ran my finger over the wax seal one more time. I didn't know what the symbol meant, but it was elegant. I then to carefully open the letter, Breaking the wax seal, and I opened the letter and began to read...

Sweet Child, BeLoved Child,

I have so many things I want to share with you. You touch a very special place in my heart. You often wonder what it is I think about you. Every thought I carry about you is beautiful. I see your smile and I can't help but be drawn to your beautiful face. Your song, your voice, your whisper, your thoughts they grab my attention and my heart is full of joy over you. You see your past, you see a worthless failure....I see a beautiful and brave daughter. You have pushed through all the trials and storms in your life, and never took your eyes off me. You look down on yourself for wavering in faith....But child you had faith. no matter how small it was or how big it has been....you always found me. You are beautiful, don't hide your face. Your life is a beautiful light, your heart bursts with love and song. You are my BeLoved daughter and you are learning to stand in that. You are allowing me to touch the deepest wounds and bring healing. You sweet child are becoming more beautiful every day.

I love you sweet child, beyond all things and I am proud of you. 

Love- Daddy.

I cried as I read through this letter, when I finished I held it with both hands close to my heart and just wept.  I saw I AM, he came over and sat next to me "You know child I could write forever about the love I feel for you. How proud of you I am. You are not the things you have believed for so long. You sweet, sweet child are so much more." I wiped the tears from my eye's and looked up at him "I thought you where angry with me." He pulled me close and held me tight and said "No more will you fear, no more will you pull back and hide. Now you know, I am not angry, I am here and I will ALWAYS love you. You now know and soon, sweet child, you will believe it." He kissed the top of my head and he pulled me into his lap. We sat for a long time while looking out over the garden. I began to feel peace wash over me and I sunk in to his embrace for the first time holding tight to his written words of love. He whispered as we sat there "I love you

Identity 06-2014

Identity 

I was standing in the new part of the temple. I was 7 years old in this encounter. I was wearing a white robe with no shoes. Where I was standing I could see the three thrones that where out in front of me to my right. On my left was the hallway where the door to the garden was. I looked around the massive room for a moment then turned to my left and walked slowly down the hall. I put out my right hand out and walked slowly with my hand on the wall. I felt the cool uneven texture to the wall and when I came to the doorway that leads out to the garden I stopped in the doorway. I stood there looking out over the garden and its beauty. I sighed and stepped out onto the patio. I leaned up against the stone wall and slid down pulling my knees to my chest. As I sat there I watched the birds fly over the trees. Then something caught my eye, it was a daisy bush about 20 feet from me. I sat and just watched the daisy bush move with the breeze. The flowers glowed with a white light. I felt the wind get strong and whip around me then it suddenly stopped. I stood up and I noticed the bush was no longer moving. I turned to my left and the The Holy Spirit was standing there. He looked down at me and smiled.  He reached out his hand to help me up off the ground. When I took his hand and began to stand He asked "Do you trust me?" I shook my head yes and replied "Of course I do. Holding his hand still he walked me back into the new temple. "Where are we going?" I asked. He smiled at me and said "walk with me." So we walked to the doorway leading back to the old temple. We walked the platform till we saw the ark. The room was dark except for the bright white flame that was on top of the ark. It lit up a large area where it sat. The Spirit stopped and let go of my hand. I looked at him and then the white flame dancing on the ark. When I got a little closer I noticed  someone was standing in the middle of the light. I tried to make out who it was but the light was so bright I had a hard time looking into it. I heard my name being called as one voice and it filled the whole room.  I saw the person in the light move and I saw a hand reach out to me. I stepped closer to the ark and took the hand. The light wrapped around me while I stood on the ground. The light and the person in the light came down to me. I now stood in the white flame face to face with the person in the light. It was I AM. He gave me a big hug then He said "Sweet child, I want to show you something."  The light still surrounded us as we began to walk. We walked to the front door's of the temple. I AM put up his hand up and the massive doors opened, then He looked at me and smiled. We continued out the front doors. When we got outside the light that was around us left.  I saw the mass of people outside the temple worshiping. They all wore blue robes and the songs they where singing where beautiful. I stopped and watched a moment. All these people with hands raised and singing songs. I looked down at my robe which was white, then I looked back at them. I asked "Papa, why are their robes blue and mine white? And why are we out here?" He embraced my face and said "Don't worry so much child, and don't try to be like anyone else. Keep your eye's on me. Come Child, I have something to show you." We continued on the white path away from the temple. I saw a massive cloud form out in front of us a little ways. When we got to the cloud we walked through it. The cloud became dark and it was hard to see. Then wind picked up and I saw lightning strike the ground not far from us many times. I grabbed on to I AM's arm with both hands and stopped. I began to cry because I was to scared to keep going.  I AM stopped and knelt down so he could meet my eye's. Even though the sound of the storm all around us was deafening I could still hear him whisper "Why are you so scared child, I am right here with you." He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and said "I am right here." He stood up and I again grabbed on to him with both hands as we kept walking. I saw the clouds began to lighten up and the storm stopped. We then walked out of the clouds to the other side where I saw green grass and a pond. The pond was muddy and the water wasn't clear. I looked at I AM and asked "Why are we here" he knelt down and motioned for me to kneel with him. So with out hesitating I knelt beside him. He said "Look at the water, it is so dirty and thick with mud. "Child what do you thin of this water? Do you think it can be used?" I looked at the water, it smelt like sewage and looked unusable. I shook my head and said "No, I don't. Who would use it?" He looked at the water then at me and smiled. He touched my face and said "Sweet child....This is how YOU see your life. you believe it's worthless and has no hope. Everything that you have gone through in your life you have allowed it to pollute who you really are. But even so, your life is not a waste" I looked at the water and said, "But this is how I really feel." He turned to me embraced my face with both hands and said "Sweet child.....What you see are lies. YOU are beautiful to me." I AM stopped a moment and closed his eyes. A tear rolled down his face and he spoke softly "I have seen your pain. I heard you cry and I have counted every tear. Child, you are not what you think you are, you are so much more. I want you to see what I see." he turned to the water and touched it with his finger the ripples that went out from his finger and slowly the dirt and mud disappeared. As the ripple got bigger the cleaner the water became until the ripple ring hit the bank of the pond on the other side. When the ripple touched the bank I saw flowers begin to pop up out of the ground and grow into full flowering plants all along the edge of the water. They began to bloom one after the other until it made it all the way around the pound. They where daisies and Daffodils. I looked at the water and it was so clear you could see the bottom of it. I saw fish swimming around. I looked at I AM with tears in my eye's and said "It's beautiful" he smiled and embraced my face with both hands got close to me and said in a whisper "This IS how I see you. I see you clean and pure, beautiful in every way! And so full of life. Child, I don't see the things you believe about yourself. I don't see what you see." he kissed my forehead and tears began to fall. Then He looked at me and smiled, "Every time I look at you I see my son and my heart leaps with so much joy and love. Know you are loved sweet child, because you really are. You are loved more then you know

Off the path 2014

Off the Path

I was standing on the maroon rug in front of the bottom step. I looked down at my bare feet and wiggled them a bit. I was 12 years old in this encounter, I was wearing a white short sleeved shirt and blue jeans. I noticed they where rolled up just above my ankles. I scrunched my face trying to understand why they where like that. Then I felt my spirit stir inside me and i looked at that first bottom step. I took a deep breath and slowly made my way up to the ark. When I got to the top I watched the white/clear flame dance and move like it was breathing all at once. I began to study the wings of the ark when the flame reached out and wrapped around me. I could feel my breath going in and out, but the sensation was the flame was breathing for me. I felt peace wash through me. I then stepped forward and touched the wings, I felt warmth flow through me. I felt consumed by God's presence in a way I never had before. I then heard a sound and looked to my left, through the flame that was wrapped around me I saw his eye's and the glow of his face. So much excitement and joy filled me tears began to fall. I saw him smile when I whispered "Jesus" He reached out his hand and the flame moved back over the ark. "Hello my sweet child." I walked over to him and he touched the side of my face with such gentleness. I closed my eye's enjoying his touch, His touch never frightened me or made me feel uncomfortable, it only made me feel safe. I don't fear his touch like I do other men. I noticed he too was wearing a white short sleeved shirt and rolled up blue jeans. He smiled at me and asked "Will you walk with me child? I have something to show you." I nodded yes and we walked past the ark to the doors leading into the new part of the temple, the castle. He lead me down the hall to the door where the garden was. We walked out onto the patio to the stone path leading farther into the garden. I looked around at the beautiful scenery, I loved the mountains off in the distance and the various flowers, some i had never seen before. We came to a part in the path where it seemed to split. Off to the right was a very narrow dirt path. It was barely wide enough for one person to walk down. The path lead into a thick patch of tree's, the greenery so thick you couldn't see very far into it. Jesus looked at me with excitement on his face and said "come!" He took off running down the path. I ran after him. It was not an easy task pushing through the brush and climbing over fallen trees. I tripped many times over tree roots sticking out of the ground, some where knee high. I tried to catch up to him but he was so far ahead i could only hear him moving through the brush and sometimes laughing. I thought to myself "Why on earth is he laughing? This is hard, whats so funny about it?" The path then ended in a small clearing. Jesus was catching his breath and when I stepped into the clearing he chuckled and asked "You ready?" I looked at him confused, "Ready for what? To go back?" He chuckled "No. No. No. To move forward" I looked back at the dirt path then at him "but the path has ended, how will we know where we are going?" Jesus put his hand on my shoulder and said "Don't think, just trust me." He turned and began to quickly make his way through brush that was up to his chest. I followed the best I could, I could hear him so i followed the sound of him moving. I tripped and moved as fast as i could when I stepped out to the other side. My mouth dropped at the site that was before me. The sun was setting and the sky was full of purple, pink, blue, and red coloring. The field was as far as the eye could see. The horizon lined with mountains and the field full of daffodils....for as far as you could see. I walked forward and stood beside Jesus, put his arm around me and said "In order to see the most beautiful things...you have to leave the path." He held me close and kissed my head as we stood there and watched the sun set. 

Stay down (satan) 2014

Stay Down

I was standing in the back of the old temple where the light was dim. I stood close to the doorway that lead outside where all those in blue robes sing. I was wearing a white robe that stopped just above my bare feet, i was 7 in this encounter. The light from the ark up front was all that lite this massive room. I watched the flame above the arc dance and move, often it looked like it was breathing in and out as it danced. I made my way to the front slowly, but before i made it to the maroon rug I saw a massive white angel appear before me. He was at least 20 ft tall or more. I saw he was beautiful, his glow was a bright white light. I saw glimpses of color in the light as he moved. Then I saw his hands, the where like black smoke. The moved and danced, like it was unable to maintain the form of a hand. I realized i had seen him before, he was the accuser. The accuser stepped in front of me and crossed his arms, "Where do you think your going child of light?" I looked up at him and said calmly, "Move demon." The accuser laughed "Who do you think you are?" I looked down at the ground and closed my eyes a moment, I looked back up at him and said "I don't have to answer to you, you know who I am." As he bent down to get close to my face he growled softly, "Indeed." The light coming from him was so bright I had to squint my eye's to look at him. His eyes where black as the void, he looked me over and said "Indeed I do, you have been nothing but trouble. I would love to see you destroyed child of light. One of a few I would personally love to CRUSH!" I took a deep breath my heart was pounding as a bit of fear rose up, but again I said to him in a calm voice "Move demon." He put his smoke like hand on my chest and pushed me, I flew back and landed back by the door where i had been standing. He pushed me back a good 10 ft or more. The accuser stood up and began to laugh at me. I felt pain when I hit the ground, but after a few moments I slowly sat up. Then when i began to stand the accuser got angry and began to yell at me "WHY WON'T YOU STAY DOWN?" When I got to my feet I brushed my self off and began to walk back towards him. I saw the Spirit appear a ways behind him off to the left. He nodded at me as if to let me know he was there. I stopped before the accuser and said once again in a calm but slightly irritated voice "Move demon." He reached down and picked me up by the front of my robe. He yelled in my face "STAY DOWN! WHY WON'T YOU STAY DOWN?" He threw me in the same direction towards the doors, but before i got too far an angel appeared and caught me in the air. The angel placed me on the ground. My heart was racing and I was frightened. The guardian angel that caught me glowed a bright yellow and he had to be 30ft tall. He pulled his sword and got into a lunging stance, his wings spread out. He was now between me and the accuser. The accuser let out a screech that sounded like many, you could see the fury in his stance. I then hear noises behind me, a clinging sound. I turned around and saw three angels with their swords drawn waiting and ready to fight him. The accuser pointed at me "You, you belong to me! You are stained, stained with...sin. The Great One, he has deserted you! Where is he? You are worthless child! You belong to ME!" When the accuser took a step towards us I heard a voice call out like thunder, so loud everyone covered their ears and we all fell to the ground. The temple shook and the angels protecting me Backed up behind me still low to the ground. They then bowed their heads and stretched out their wings. I was now on all fours with the accuser a few feet in front of me. I looked up at him and slowly stood up. The accuser stayed down on one knee with his wings pulled in. He growled softly as I AM walked past him making his way between me and the accuser. I AM was glowing bright white with light. I was in awe I AM was the size of a normal human man, he was standing before a 20ft angel and yet he was in control. He never spoke above a normal voice while addressing the accuser. I AM said in a firm voice "This is my house!" The accuser lowered his head and began to speak in an unknown tongue to I AM. After a few moment I AM said sternly "STOP!" The accuser looked up at him. I AM stepped a bit closed and in a firm low voice "What have I told you about this one? Remember your place, this is my house...be gone!" The accuser growled with disapproval and disappeared. I AM came over to me and took my hand and smiled at me. I looked back at the other angels still kneeling on one knee, heads bowed. I AM said softly to me "Come, you belong here with me." Hand in hand we walked to the maroon rug. When we go to the edge I hesitated and he knelt down to look me in the eye's, "Don't believe the lies. You are more then worthy to come into my presence...anytime. This is not a wavering relationship where when things go bad I walk away. If I am in you and you are in me, how can i walk away from myself?" A tear ran down my cheek and I whispered "You can't." He kissed my head, "I know its hard for you to believe and understand that, so just have faith that what I say is true. Rest in that, and know I love you." I AM picked me up and walked me to where the arc was. The light that danced above it reached out to us as he walked up the steps, surrounding us completely with light. 

Mighty Door 2014

Mighty Door

I was standing in the back of the old temple, I am eleven years old in this encounter wearing a white sundress that went down to my knees. I slowly began to walk out of the dimly lit area towards the maroon rug. I could feel the stone floor under my feet, it was cool but not cold. I walked out onto the rug without hesitation and made my way towards the ark. I felt safe and loved here, even though I have had my times of doubt, this was one place I knew I could come to and know I was accepted. I got to the bottom of the steps and watched the bright clear/white flame dance over the top. The light never went out, it was always there. I then seen an angel appear beside the ark. Her head slightly lowered, she then looked up at me "Come child of light, He calls you." I looked at the ark and asked "Where is he?" The angel said "He is where all things are new." I looked at her funny "Where all things are new?" The Angel replied "Yes, he is in the castle, and he calls you there." I sighed "Why doesn't he meet me here anymore? This place is where I met him, I don't understand" The Angel smiled "Come, he is calling you." I made my way up the steps and stopped next to the ark. I stood inches from the side of the ark and wanted so much to reach out and touch the light. The dancing flame above it didn't give off any heat. The Angel waited patiently as I stood there, I wondered why I AM didn't just come here to meet me. I then turned towards the angel, "I'm ready" The Angel and I walked past the ark to the doorway at the other end of the platform. I saw the two large angels bow and cover themselves with their wings. We stood before the door leading into the castle and I watched the red line appear across the door. When the door opened I heard I AM whispering my name. I looked up at the angel, and she asked "Do you hear him?" I smiled and ran through the doorway. I heard it close and lock behind me as I looked around the room to see if I could find him. I heard him whisper my name two more times and I followed his voice down the hall to my left. I went past the doorway for the garden till I saw a door at the end of the hall. It was a red door. The door was about 20 feet across and 30 feet high. The handle for the door was far beyond my reach. I could hear him calling my name over and over from the other side of the door. I looked around to see if there was another way to open it, but I couldn't find it. I tried pushing on it, but it was to massive to move. I began to scream back to I AM "I am here! I am here!" I began to bang on the door but the massive door made it difficult, the pounding didn't even make a sound. I got so frustrated I cried and kicked the door sever times. I then sat on the floor and wept as I heard him continue to call my name. I then saw my chest began to glow, I wiped the tears from my face and I heard from behind "you are trying too hard child." I stood up and faced the Holy Spirit. I looked at the door "He is calling me and I can't get to him." The Spirit said to me again, "You are trying too hard." I was frustrated and yelled "what are you talking about?" The Spirit walked over and placed his hand on my chest and said in a whisper "Peace child. You have to understand you are not meant to open this door." I began to cry I was so frustrated "then why is he calling me to come to him if he knows I can't get to him?" The Spirit walked over to the door and placed his hand on it, then turned to me and asked "Did you ask for help?" I shook my head no, "who would I ask? Can you open it?" The Spirit kissed my forehead and said "I know who can." Just then Jesus appeared and walked over to me and the Spirit left. Jesus embraced the side of my face with his hand, I grabbed his hand and held it tight. I asked him in a low and embarrassed voice, "Can you help me?" Jesus pulled me in and hugged me hard. He kissed the top of my head "Child, you don't have to fear me. I am not angry with you. I know you tried to do this on your own because you where afraid to ask me for help." He then knelt down and said "But I am hear for you, always have been and always will. I will help you get to the father." He stood up and took my hand, together we touched the massive door. We then heard rumbling and stepped back, I saw the red line appear across the door. I looked up at Jesus and asked "Your blood is the key?" He smiled at me and looked up at the door as it opened. I saw a red rug running from the door to a bright almost blinding light, in the form of a person, sitting on the throne. I heard I AM whisper my name and when he did the bright light filled with a rainbow of colors then back to white. The room had a yellow glow to it, I began to shake so bad I began to kneel on the floor. Jesus reached down and put his hand on my shoulder, I felt warmth run through my body and strength filled my body and I was able to stand. I became so overwhelmed with joy and peace threat tears began to flow down my face. I raised my hands, closed my eyes, and whispered "Holy, Holy, Holy."  The glowing figure stood up and walked down the three steps once his foot touched the floor the light dimmed down to a white glow. I saw His face, it was I AM.  His presence was so overwhelming that I think if Jesus had not had his hand I me I would have fallen face to the floor. I was not standing in my own strength, there was no way I could have. I tried to utter words to say to him, but could not. I AM walked over to me and stood before me, "Sweet child, don't be so afraid. I will not take my presence from you. Even when the way seems difficult, you feel alone and frustrated, I want you to know you are never alone. My son died for you so you could enter this place with out fear and shame. A tear ran down my face, I was still unable to speak. He embraced my face with both hands and said "I hear your thoughts, trust me when I say my son and his sacrifice for you was enough. You don't have to try to get here, or fight for me to come to you." He looked at me with such intense passion and said "I. Love. You." He kissed my head and it all faded away. 

Moon lit water 2014

Moon Lit Water

I was sitting by the water watching the sun slowly set. I watched the almost still water reflected the colors back to the sky. I closed my eye's and listened to the rustling of leaves on the tree's, it was faint but still beautiful. I opened my eye's and I watched a yellow butterfly dance in the light breeze as it made its way to a small flower by the water. I was in such a peaceful place, though I didn't feel that same peace with in me. I was wearing a white sun dress that went down to my knees. It was embroidered with flowers all along the bottom, I was 12 years old in this encounter. I was barefoot and could feel the grass and dirt beneath my feet. I felt so distant and sad inside, so I drew my knee's to my chest. I felt vulnerable there even though no one was around. A tear rolled down my cheek and the pain and sorrow flooded me. I tried to push it off but I couldn't. Thoughts and memories flooded my mind and I tried to focus on the beauty before me. Tears kept coming, I couldn't stop them, I then heard a voice whisper my name. I didn't recognize the voice and I looked around but saw no one. The voice said "You where born unwanted, and you will die alone." I held my knees to my chest a bit tighter and rested my head on them, and sank into the feeling of being alone. I then heard a noise behind me and I heard Him whisper my name, I knew this voice. I could feel the peace in his voice pushing back the darkness inside me. I became embarrassed and buried my face into my knees. Jesus sat next to me, as close ass he could get. He was so close we where touching. He nudged me and I looked over at him, he said "You can try to pull away as much as you want, but I am not going anywhere." I looked out over the water, the sun was almost done setting over the horizon and you could see the line where the darkness was taking over where the light was leaving. Jesus wrapped his arm around me and watched with me. The sun was now completely gone but even though it was now night there was still light. I looked up an saw a full moon, it's light dancing on the water. It was bright enough it illuminated the entire area with it's fair glow, enough so you could make out the shadows but not enough to know for sure where you where going. Jesus, smiling, looked up at the moon as well and said, "Even in the darkness, there is light." He put his hand up and the moon was gone. I looked at him and "why would you do that?" He said "Just watch." As my eye's adjusted in the darkness I began to see faint light in the sky, stars. One by one till there where so many I couldn't count. "Just because you can't always see me, or feel me, doesn't mean I am not there. It doesn't mean all hope is gone." He looked at me and smiled "I am always there, everywhere...I am with in you. My thoughts for you are like the stars, they go on forever." I stretched out my legs and rested my hands on them. "Why does the darkness never seem to end?" He looked out to the horizon and and said "It. Seems. That way." When he smiled I saw the sun began to rise in the same spot it sat. I saw the beautiful colors slowly fill the sky pushing back the darkness. I watched with wonderJesus stood up and reached down to help me up. I took his hand and when I stood the sun had fully risen. Jesus put his arm around my shoulder and pointed to the sky "You want to know something else?" I looked at him and nodded yes. He said "though you cannot see the stars, they are still there." He turned towards me and embraced my face, "You are never alone, in your good days and even in your darkness...I am always there." He kissed my forehead looked into my eyes, I saw tears fill his as he whispered "I love you."

Long hall #2 2014

Long Hall

I was standing at the end of long hallway. I was 10 years old in this encounter wearing a long white robe. I looked down at my bare feet,  the concrete was so cold under them. I looked down the hall, it was so long I couldn't see the wall at the other end. It was also very dim, you could see rays of light coming from doorways down the hall, which made it at least lit enough to see. I noticed the white paint on the walls where old, dirty and peeling. I noticed the tile that once covered the floor was mostly gone. There where broken pieces all over, they where a robin's eggshell blue and spoke led with white and red. The hall reminded me of an abandoned building. I wasn't sure why I was here but I began to walk down it with my hand on the wall. As I walked my hand brushed paint chips onto the floor, I looked at them briefly and kept walking. When I came to a door I just passed by it and replaced my hand on the wall and walked. I walked a long time before I saw a door mon my left, it had a number above it on a small metal sign, it read "23". I looked back down the way I came and the doors I could see didn't have a number above them. I turned around to the room opposite of this one and it didn't have the number either. I also noticed that room was completely empty. I turned back to this room with the numbers on it. When I walked in I saw that the windows where high, a goo 20 feet high or so. I saw the rays of sunlight shining through the windows onto the wall to my right, It was an old brick wall. It looked like someone had tried to cover it in layers of wall paper, which was mostly gone and much of it on the floor in front of the wall. I felt a tug inside to reach out and touch it. When I did, words written in black formed in a cursive style hand writing, It looked to be written in a black chalk.  The words read "I know child, and I hear you." I stepped back a moment then anger, hurt, sadness washed over me and I took my hand and wiped it across the words fast, trying to wipe the words off the wall. The began to smudge but did not wipe away. Tears of hurt and anger ran down my cheeks and I kicked the wall and screamed. I stood there crying when I heard my name whispered from the doorway. I didn't recognize the voice. I turned and saw no one standing there so I made my way into the hallway. I looked into the empty room across from the one I was in, but it had changed. There was now 4 old fashioned medical beds that lined the wall to my right. The beds didn't have a mattress, so the springs where exposed and rusted. Before me where two very tall old windows covered with news paper and paint to block out the sun. The walls in this room where much like the ones in the hall except they had a yellow tinge of color to them. I stood in the doorway to this room and looked around, this room had a heavy feeling to it. I heard my name whispered several more time from the room, again I did not recognize it. I then heard my name whispered from down the hall, I stepped out of the doorway and back into the hall. Again I heard the my name whispered from the other end of the hall, but this voice I recognized. I looked into the room with the 4 metal beds, part of me wanted to go in there, it felt familiar in a way. I looked back down the hallway and took a step. I saw a door appear a few doors down in the middle of the hall with bright light coming from behind it. I took another step and heard my name whispered from the room with the metal beds, I turned and looked into the doorway and whispered back "It's a lie," I heard a loud screech, it sounded like many, and the metal grey door to the room slammed shut. I walked down the hall to the door that appeared, It had no handle but I reached out and touched it with just my finger tips and the door opened. The light was so bright I shielded my eyes as I walked through it. When I made it through the light faded and I was standing in a garden full of flowers and trees. Before me stood Jesus, he was holding a soft glowing pink rose to his nose. He smiled and I ran to him, he picked me up in his arms and handed me the pink rose. He kissed my nose and said "Soon you will see, there is peace with me." He turned and walked farther out into the garden with me in his arms. 

The Offer 2014

The offer

I was standing in the doorway leading out to the garden in the new temple. I had on a long white robe that stopped just above my bare feet, I was maybe 8 in this encounter. I felt nervous and vulnerable so I took my hands and put them inside the long sleeves of my robe, trying to hide the shame I felt. I looked at my now hidden hands then back out to the garden. I saw at the edge of the stone patio a large bush of daisies, they where closed, not one of them was open. Jesus walked around them gently touching them, as he touched them they slowly opened up and began to glow a soft white light. He picked one of the daisies and looked up at me, "Come child." He had a smile and seemed peaceful. I felt chaotic inside, I felt shame beyond words. I looked around then down at my covered hands and slowly walked over to him. Jesus said in a soft voice, "I am so glad you are here." I felt embarrassed and looked down at my feet, I didn't say a word to him. All I could do was try and hold back the food of tears, which I failed horribly at. The began to stream down my face. Jesus knelt down to one knee. He caught my eye's enough that I looked up at him, "Sweet child, talk with me." I fell to my knees and buried my face into the robe that covered my hands, "I can't, I am so sorry." Jesus placed his hand on my shoulder "Sorry for what?" I couldn't answer him. He wrapped his arms around me kissing my head and whispering "I love you." I pulled back and through the tears I said "You already know, why do I have to say it?" He touched my face "It's to help you heal. Speak the words, it will shine light on the very thing that binds you with shame. Once light shines on it, it has no power." I shook my head side "No...not this I can never speak this." I felt terrified inside, I stood up and began to back away from him. Jesus stood and said "That thought you are having, it's a lie" I stopped backing up. Jesus looked down at the glowing daisy in his hand then back at me "You try to hide so much from those around you, from people who want to help. This one memory, it's destroying you. I see the shame it has cast on you, I see your fear and pain, I see it all." He took the daisy and extended it to me, "Please child, accept my forgiveness." I was reluctant but I slowly reached out and took it. "There will be a time, a place, when that darkness will come to light. Once you share it you will see just how loved you are. You will see me in every moment of it. I know you are not ready now, but it will come." I looked the flower over then up at Jesus, he smiled a little and a tear ran down his cheek "I wish you knew just how much I love you and how much you mean to me." I took a few steps towards him, inside I really just wanted a hug but was too afraid to ask for it. I looked up at him and he moved towards me. Jesus wrapped his arms around me and held me tight as I buried my face into him. He kissed my head and said "I love you, no matter what"

Words that fell off 03-2014

Words

I walked into my bedroom and turned off the light. I am 34 years old in this encounter. The room was barely lit by the light of the moon outside. I opened the top drawer of my dresser and searched for a tea light candle and my lighter. I put both my hands on the top of my dresser and lowered my head and let out a big sigh. I was shaking from feeling overwhelmed with stress and guilt. I wanted so bad to believe all these words I was told I was, good, clean, innocent, righteous, victorious, Beloved....the list went on and on. What I was saying and what I believed where in such conflict it was taking a toll on my body. I saw stands of my hair fall onto the dresser, the stress was making it fall out in handfuls. A tear of shame and frustration ran down my cheek and I looked up at the white board on the wall. I had started writing 5 positive words down for every negative one I thought....this in itself became a draining and endless task. I pulled out the candle and the lighter and shut my dresser drawer. I placed the candle down and lit it, the light seemed so bright in the darkness. I saw the words I had written down on the board. I had written a verse on the top Colossians 2:2-3, under it was "I AM" loves you no matter what and Beloved daughter I love you no matter what, Jesus. I just stared at the words, I felt so empty, angry, frustrated that no matter how hard I tried....I could not believe them.  I grabbed a permanent marker and began to write the words on my arms, chest and thighs. Tears of frustrations ran down my face and I threw the marker across the room, I felt so hopeless. I looked down at them and I felt...nothing. I stood up feeling cold and empty inside, disconnected from everything around me, especially from God. I wanted so badly to believe them, I just couldn't. I stood there feeling lifeless looking at the words on this board, tears rolling down my cheeks but there was nothing left in me, I felt nothing. Weak and shaking I fell to my knees, "where do I go from here?" I thought. I then saw the flame on the small candle flicker and I looked up to see The Spirit of God standing there. He was in his white hooded robe with the hood pulled over his head, I looked into his flaming clear/white eyes, I couldn't say anything. I looked down and all the good and positive words I had written on me slid off and on to the floor. I closed my eye's because a sadness I had never felt before came over me, a darkness so dark I thought I would die. I opened my eyes and watched as the Spirit picked them al up, he held them in his hands out in front of him. He looked up and whispered some words and a white glowing robe appeared in his hands. On the robe where the words, Innocent, pure, clean, Beloved...and so on. He stepped behind me and knelt down, he wrapped the robe around me and held me. He whispered over and over as I cried, "You are Loved, and those things now and forever are true. You are not alone

Forgiving unforgiveness 02-2014

Forgiving the Unforgiveness

I found myself in the back of the old temple, I had on a long white robe and my feet where bare. I stood in the dim lit area for a moment, in my hands was a small red box that I held tightly to my chest. I walked over to the edge of the maroon rug and looked down at it, I took a step back from it and saw there was a few feet between the maroon rug and the columns. I looked up at the alter and watched the white flam dance and move, in that moment I felt deep sadness and was struggling with just feeling "okay." I made my way around to the side of the rug and walked to the front between the columns and the maroon rug. When I got to the second to last column I sat down, I drew my knees to my chest and held the little red box so tight to my chest my hands hurt. I saw Jesus appear next to the ark, the white flame was surrounding him as well as the top of the ark. He began to walk down the steps and the flame remained on him but separated from the ark. When he got to the bottom of the steps he stopped and the flame faded, he was now glowing a soft white. He looked over at me with a soft smile and concern on his face. I scooted around to the side of the column and pushed the box down between my knees and chest. I wrapped my arm around my legs so he could not see it at all. Jesus walked over to me and as he went to step off the maroon rug it stretched out in front of him so his feet never touched the actual floor. With each step it stretched out till he stopped in front of me. He then reached down and touched the rug and it appeared under me and all around the column. I watched as it did this with amazement, as I was now sitting on the rug. There was no gap between me and it any longer. He didn't say a word he just sat down next to me on the rug, so close we where touching. My heart was beating hard and fast in the silence. Jesus then whispered "Why are you hiding?" I pulled out the red box and held onto it so tight you could see my knuckles turn white. Tears began to roll down my face, I couldn't stop them. He asked in a soft gentle voice "Why are you so afraid child?"  I choked out the words "I am afraid to let you see, I am afraid you will punish me and send me way." The tears fell faster and I laid my head on my knees and sobbed. He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. "I already know what is hidden in the box, things you think I can't see. I will never force you to share them. I am not here to judge you, I am here to love you and let you know you are not alone." He kissed the top of my head and I looked up. I took the box and looked it over. I whispered "I had no choice, and I hate him for it." Jesus looked at me with love and said "give it to me, I will carry the weight for you." I whipped the tears from my face and said "why would you want to carry it?" He kissed my forehead and said "because I love you." I looked down at the red box and said to him, "there is a lot of anger and hate in this box. Thing I could never talk about, (clears throat) not even to you." I stretched out my legs in front of me and put the box on them, "I don't know how to give those things to you, but if you want them you can have them." Tears began to flow down my face again. I looked at him and said "I just don't want to talk about it." He whispered back to me "I know." He reached down and touched the top of the box and said "open it." I looked at the box then to him and asked "I don't know if I can." He reached down and slowly opened the box, and I saw two daisies inside. I was caught off guard and reached into the box pulling them out, "How??" He looked at me and touched my face with his hand and whispered, "I forgave your Unforgiveness long ago." He pulled me closer with his other arm and he held me for a moment. He rested his head on mine and reached down took the two daisies out and handed them to me. I looked them over admiring them, It felt good to know I was safe here. That he was not angry and instead of scolding me and casting me aside he instead drew me closer to himself. I whispered back to him trying to hold back tears of relief "Thank you." He kissed my head again and said "I love you."

Peaceful

Peaceful

I found myself standing in the back of the old temple in the dim light. I had my arms crossed because I felt vulnerable standing there. I was 12 years old in this encounter, wearing a long white robe. I looked down at my bare feet then to the ark out in front of me. As I stood there I felt like the whole world knew what was going inside me, every thought, emotion, the total chaos. I watched the flame dace above the ark, too afraid to go forward. I turned back to look at the door leading outside to where those in blue robes stood. I saw the angel's that follow me standing there, one on each side. I looked to the angel on my left, but I said nothing. He looked at me and knelt down on one knee, "Child of light, what is wrong?" I wanted to look down at the floor but it was difficult to pull my glacé from his eye's, you could see and sense the life in them. There was so much peace and joy, something I was craving, needing. I swallowed hard, "I'm just nervous I guess." He looked me up and down, "How can you be nervous, here?" I tried to fight back tears and answer him, "There is just so much I don't want him to see about me is all, things can't even face." The angel reached out his hand, I placed my small hand on his extremely large hand, "He already knows child of light, yet he has never held it against you." He looked up at the ark and said with a smile, "And he waits for you." The angel stood back up straight and tall, then looked down at me and said "Go to him, he waits for you." I smiled back at the angel, then slowly turned to see Jesus standing in front of the ark smiling. I crossed my arms again feeling like I needed to protect myself for some reason. I lowered my eye's and walked toward the maroon rug, as I did I didn't really think about whether or not to step on it, I just did. I followed the rug up to the steps and stopped, still not looking up, I just stood there. Things, images flooded my mind. Horrible things I wanted so much to hide from him, to hide from myself. I felt exposed standing there before him, If there was a place to run I would have in that moment. But I heard him whisper my name "Casie" I looked up, he had not used that name in a long time. It resonated deep inside me and called to something I could not explain. He slowly made his way down the steps and stood on the last one and he reached out his hand. I looked at his hand, the hole that was there was not bloody, it was just a whole. I reached out slowly with the tips of my fingers to touch it. I was so nervous I was shaking. I touched it gently with the tips of my two fingers when he said to me, "There is nothing to fear here, there is no judgment." I pulled my hand back quickly, "I'm sorry I should not have done that." He smiled, "No need to worry, it was an invitation child. I want you to see and to know there is nothing between us, at all. There never will be." I crossed my arms and looked around the temple, "Then why do I feel so much fear and chaos?" He stepped down off the last step and reached his hand to me, "Will you walk with me?" I reached out and took his hand "yes." Holding hands we walked up the steps past the ark. I looked back for a moment at it, with a small sadness in my heart. Jesus lead me to the two large doors to the ne temple. The angel's this time did not bow down and cover themselves, instead they had long trumpets the lifted and began to sound out. The doors opened and we walked through, once through they stopped and the doors closed. I let go of Jesus' hand and walked over to the door. Trying to understand what it all meant. I reached out and touched the door with my hands, thinking about the safety and security I felt back there. Jesus called my name and I turned around, "Why do we keep leaving that place?" He smiled and motioned for me to come to him. With a heavy sigh, I turned and went to him. He put his arm around me and said "I have something new I want to share with you." We turned to the left down the hallway and came to the door where the garden was. We walked out onto the patio, to the far wall that was waist high. We stepped onto the path leading out into the garden. I noticed the sides of the path where now lined with all sorts of flowers. Jesus stopped on the path and said "let's go this way" He stepped through the flowers, not crushing or damaging one of them, and made his way towards the lake that was there. I followed him from behind. As we got closer to the lake I saw a line of tree's next to the water. We walked through the small line of tree's to the lake. When we got there I saw a hammock attached to two tree's. Jesus claimed inside it and motioned for me to join him. He pulled me close as the hammock gently rocked in the breeze. I laid there with my ear to his chest watching the water, it was almost so still it looked like glass. The day was warm but in the shade it was cool. I could hear the rustling of the leaves in the breeze. I was so peaceful and calm. Jesus kissed the top of my head, he didn't say anything we just sat there in the peace and calm of the moment. I began to feel the chaos of everything inside fade away and I soon fell asleep in his presence.

White Angel 2014

White Angel

I was sitting on my bed in my room looking at letters and pictures my kids had made for me. As I looked them over I became overwhelmed with sadness. I touched a picture with my finger tips, running them over their faces, wanting nothing more then to hold them. I hear a nosiness and looked up, placing the picture back down on the bed. I became surrounded by a cream colored cloud, when I stood up I realized I was now standing in a large cream colored room. I saw on the far side the Spirit, He smiled at me but did not move. Then I heard a low deep growl come from behind me. I turned to see a man standing there, his hair was white as snow, his eyes where all black and darker then night. I noticed his hands where like smoke. They kept the shape of a hand but yet moved around like smoke. I took a step back from him and felt really uncomfortable in his presence. The man looked me up and down as he walked around me, when he stood before me he whispered, "Child. Of. Light."  "What do you want?" I asked. He laughed "You." I looked at him funny and thought "Me? Why does he want me?" He took a step towards me looked me dead in the eye's and said "I know who you are child of light. We have met many times before, you. You have caused me great trouble! I want nothing more then to destroy you!" I looked past the man at the Spirit, he seemed unmoved by what was happening. He just stood there peacefully, not effected at all. I wasn't sure if I should be worried, but I did remembered the times before, he never let anything happen to me. The man then stepped between me and my gaze at the spirit, redirecting my focus back to him and saying "You follow. Him? Tell me child of light, what have you gotten from it? What have you gained? What do you have to show for this pathetic life? HUH?" I closed my eyes and began to whisper a prayer in a language I did not know, trying to refocus and shut him out. The man began to whisper to me "You think you can hide your guilt? Your shame? It is your fault! You deserved everything you got! I opened my eyes and looked at him, "You may whisper to me, but you. You are not my fathers voice." The man reached out and touched my shoulder, I saw black spots begin to cover my entire body. I stepped back as I watched them spread throughout, the man laughed and said "You will never be clean, you will never be whole! HE cannot fix you! You. Are. Nothing." When the the spots where done spreading I saw blood appear all over my hands. I looked at them and became upset, I tried to wipe it off on my clothes but it just rubbed blood into my clothes. I fell to my knees and began to cry while the man stood there and laughed at me. I was so afraid and felt so much shame I didn't even think to look the Spirit for help. I heard a loud thunder and the room shook, almost kicking the man to the floor. I looked up and saw I AM walking towards me. He was wearing a long white robe, the bottom and collar where lined with purple silk. He came and stood between me and the man. The man took a few steps back, pointed at me, and said in a hate filled voice, "You want this? What is it about her? Why protect this one?" I AM turned around towards me and knelt down to meet my eye's. "Child" He said with much love and concern. He leaned forward and kissed my head. He then stood and reached down to help me stand. I looked at my hands then to him, tears still flowing down my face. I AM whispered with a smile on his face, "I don't see the spots or the blemishes you see. Child it's an illusion, a lie. Child, all I see is you." I lowered my head to look at my hands that where covered in blood. I AM whispered again "trust me." I looked up and slowly took his hand, he helped me to my feet and quickly pulled me in for a hug. I felt so bad inside I didn't hug him back, but still he held me for those few moments. As he held me he said over and over "you are never, ever, alone." Then the man screeched in a loud voice that sounded like many. I AM let go of me and turned around, he got in the mans face and said in a stern, but low voice, "You forget your place! You have no authority here!" The man let out a low growl and I AM said to him "Reveal yourself!" The man backed up and let out another screech that sounded like many, then he turned into this massive white angel. He was so white and beautiful, but I noticed his hands moved like smoke. He was the same angel I had see in the temple once before. The angel pointed his finger at I AM and said with so much anger and hate "I will kill this one!" I AM sighed, "No...no you won't. Be gone! Now!" The angel bowed to one knee and disappeared. I AM turned towards me, he could see the drain in my eye's from the guilt and shame I felt. He embraced my face and touched his forehead to mine, and in a whisper he said in a whisper "You. Are. Mine

Confronted

God Encounter 2014

Confronted 

I was 12 years old in this encounter and I was wearing a long white robe that stopped just above my bare feet. I looked around the room and saw the walls where a dark navy blue color. I walked up to the far wall and put my hands on it, I followed it to the next room the turned around. I wondered why the room was so empty. I turned back to the wall and touched it, it looked to be made of plaster, it had decorative swirls through out. I then heard noise behind me and turned around. The two angels that have followed me many times before walked towards me. I noticed this time they where glowing bright white. They were so bright it made the room appear dim. Their hands on the handle of the swords strapped to their waists. They got close and smiled at me "Child of light, greetings." I looked to each and then asked "what are we doing here?" Before the angels could answer I heard my called out, the sound of the voice was chilling. I saw behind the two angels a dark shadowed figure of a man, but the figure didn't remain solid, it shifted like the shadows. His face was hard to make out as it shifted many times. The angles turned around and drew their swords, the shadow walked between them and got about a foot in front of me. He growled and looked me up and down. The shadowed figure then said something in another language. He took a few steps back. The two angels watching him closely. I saw two more shadowed figures enter the room and stand behind him. I took a few steps back the shadowed figure said something I did not understand. His image shifted and contorted then he said "Mahtava" I shook my head not understanding what he was saying. Then he put his shadowed finger close to my face and said in a low voice "We know who you are! We know you well!" I looked to the angels who where watching him closely and said "I AM  is with me, I am not afraid of you." They began to laugh and he said "Really now? Where is the great I AM? I do not see him! You are a child of fear! A child of shame!" I stood there shaking a bit, but I whispered the words "I don't have to defend myself to you." He put his shadowed fingers to my chest and pressed in, hard. The angels watching his every move with swords in hand. He looked at the two angels then at me and whispered in a stern tone "I WILL CRUSH YOU." He then hurled insults at me, "You are nothing child of light. Look at you filthy, dirty...worthless. No one wants you let alone the great and mighty I AM!  If he cared then why did he leave you alone here? Where is he! All those things you call lies, are true!!" The shadowed figure looked me up and down then said "Why do you fight it? Why do you try to deny who you really are?" As hard as I fought it a tear rolled down my cheek, his words had pierced my heart. When it fell I saw a flash of light to my right and the three shadowed men fell face to the ground. I looked over and saw I AM. He stepped between me and them. He raised his right hand and the shadowed figure in the front looked up at him. I AM looked at him and asked "What have I told you about this one?" The figured growled and yelled "She is guilty! She is mine!" I AM bent over and got in his shadow shifting face and said in a stern voice "This one, is mine. She is marked by my Son, she. Is. Mine." Then I AM straightened up and began to speak words I could not understand. I had to cover my ears they where like loud thunder. His voice shook the room. He then said "SHE. Is protected, she is mine! Now take your imps and be gone!" The shadowed figure put his face to the floor and all three disappeared. I AM turned to me, and the two angels behind him bowed down to one knee with their wings spread out. Tears where streaming down my cheeks, but as they fell disappeared before hitting the floor. He put his hand on my cheek, I closed my eye's and grabbed on with both hands. He pulled me in and hugged me tight. I AM kissed the top of my head and whispered "I told you nothing would pull my attention and love from you, nothing."

Another world 02-2014

God Encounter 2014

Another World

I was sleeping in my bed when I felt a hand touch my arm, then I heard him whisper my name. I opened my eyes the room was dark except for where he stood. He was glowing with white light. He smiled at me and said "Child, come with me I want to teach you something." I sat up in my bed and the spirit began to walk towards my bedroom door. "Where are we going?" I asked. He said gently "come and see." So I got up and walked to the door where he was. When I looked back at the bed I saw my body was still laying there, I was confused and I looked down at myself the to the Spirit. "What happened?" He opened the door and said "Follow me." I followed him through the door. When we walked through the door we ended up in a different country. I was barefoot and could feel the hot dirt beneath my feet. The people here walked right past us as if they could not see us. Their skin was dark and their clothes where tattered and dust filled. We began walking through this small town full of shacks built from, what looked like, anything they could find. The Spirit pointed to a shack made mostly of scrap metal, plastic tarps and scrap wood. He turned to me and said "before we go inside I want to say something to you." He put his hand on my chest and I felt a rush go through my whole body. He looked at me and smiled. I asked "What are you doing?" He embraced my face and kissed my cheek, "Come with me." He walked into the shack, as I thought to myself, he didn't say anything. I followed him into the shack. Inside was just one big room. To the right I saw a pile of old worn blankets on the floor. To my left a rickety old table with a few items on it. In the corner with the pile of blankets was a women with long braided black hair. She had on what looked like scrap material put together to make clothes. She was kneeling and crying. She was speaking the same phrase over and over in her own language so I could not understand what she was saying. I saw a young girl on the blankets, she looked to be maybe 8 years old. The lady would lean over the child and embrace her, but the child looked lifeless. When the lady laid her back down I saw that her eyes where closed, and her little brown cheeks where fire red. You could see she was sweating really bad, maybe from a fever. The Spirit put his hand on my shoulder "Go child." I slowly walked over and knelt down next to the women. She looked at me with tears in her eyes, I was surprised she saw me when those outside did not. She began speaking to me in her language with a panicked tone, but I couldn't understand her. She grabbed my hands and began to what looked and sounded like pleading with me. I just didn't know what to do, I just could not understand her. I turned and looked to the Spirit, he smiled and walked over to us. He stood behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders and I began to pick up words in English here and there, and after a few moments I could understand her.  She was telling me how sick her child was and that she was dying. The lady embraced her child's limp body just sobbing. I looked up at the Spirit and he said in a whisper "You know what to do child, I am right here with you." I got up and the lady laid her child back down.  I walked to the other side of the lady and knelt back down. The mom at this point was crying hysterically, she was pleading with God to help her. I placed my hand on the child's forehead, her head was so hot. I then placed the other hand on her chest. I closed my eye's and whispered, God I need your help.  When I opened them the Spirit was next to me between me and the lady. He laid his hand on her stomach and leg. I began to pray "God please touch this little girl and heal her." I then began to pry in the spirit. I then saw a bright light and the child opened her eyes slowly. She sat up and looked at me with shock and said "I saw Him!" Her cheeks where no longer red, she seemed to be okay. The mother the mom raised her hands and began to shout in her language, she then pushed me out of the way and held her daughter, she was inspecting her. She was now crying tears of joy and relief, praising God the whole time. I stood up and the Spirit put his hand on my shoulder as we watched for a moment. The lady then turned to me, she stood with tears in her eyes and said "Thank you for coming here, Thank God for bringing you to my home!" She hugged me super tight kissing my face. She then turned and knelt next to her child embracing and talking to her. The Spirit turned and I followed him out the door back into the city. He embraced my face and said "Remember these things, and write them down." He kissed my face and it was all gone

Sword and Shield 02-2014

Sword and Shield

I found myself standing in the back of the old temple in the dim light, and I watched the whited flame dancing on the ark. I was 16 in this encounter and I was wearing a long elegant dress. The dress went past my bare feet and touched the ground. The back of the dress dragged on the floor behind me. My dress was white with small purple flowers attacked to a vine all along the bottom of the dress. Around my waste was a thin purple sash, the neckline came down a little farther then the one I wear as a small child. It was perfect for the necklace I was wearing, it had two daisies on it and my guess was it was white gold. I reached up and rubbed the necklace with two fingers remembering the love I felt from I AM. I slowly began to walk to the maroon rug when I got there I stood up straight and tall, remembering the confidence I drew from this place. I didn't just put the tips of my toes on to the carpet, but I took a step, knowing I was safe here. As I began to walk I felt something on my head, I reached up and felt the crown I AM keeps placing on my head. I smiled a little, this was one of those times I didn't take it off. I walked up to the last step and just watched the flame move and dance. I took a deep breath and let it out, shaking off everything else. I stood there knowing I was safe and loved. I saw the Spirit step put of the white light and he stood next to the ark. The Spirit didn't say anything he just smiled and walked away. I ran up the steps and followed him, when we got to the two big doors leading into the new temple that looked like a castle, he disappeared. I saw the two massive angels go down on one knee and cover themselves. They then began to sing and the signing sounded like many. I couldn't understand what they where saying but it was beautiful. The song also had a "Hum" to it that resonated in me. I then saw the red line run across the doors opening it. I walked through and they quickly shut behind me. In the middle of this first room where the three thrones sit was a large white and grey marbled table. It had a large red piece of cloth on it. On the cloth was a sword and shield. I walked over and touched the table with my finger tips running them over the edge of the table as I walked. I thought what could this be for? On the handle of the sword I saw engraved images and words I could not read. I didn't know what kind of material it was made from, the color was a gold and red/bronze color. The Sheila looked like it had been used in battle, made of the same metal as the sword. The front portion was white, and in the middle of it was written a word in another language. I stood looking over al the detail when I felt a hand on my back, it startled me and I turned around to see I AM. He said "It's just me child, don't be afraid. You are safe here with me." He then made his way around to the other side of the table. He put his hands on the table and leaned forward, "These are yours. Do you remember?" I stood a moment and remembered the encounter I had with him, it was the day I realized I was fighting for a God I didn't know. It was they day I saw I was alone on the battle field fighting an enemy I didn't understand. It was the first time I realized God could defend himself. I was also the very first time I dropped my weapons, and armor and crawled into my fathers lap. As I stood there remembering these things I began to shake my head "No, no, no, I can't do that again." I AM saw the distress come over me and quickly walked over to me, when he got to me I looked down at the floor. He gently reached out and lifted my head and locked eyes with me. "Child, it will never be that way again. You will not fight through this life alone, I always have your back. This isn't a call back to the battle field. I want to teach you how to use these with love." A tear fell from my face and I reached up and pulled his hand to my face, closing my eye's I choked out the words "I never want to be that alone and afraid again." He embraced my face "I would never ask it of you, never have and never will. I want you to know how precious and loved you are, that your not alone." He embraced me and hugged me. I began to sob and I held on to him as tight as I could, burying my face into his shoulder. He put his hand on the back of my head pressing his cheek against my face he whispered "you where never meant to fight alone." He kissed my head and just held me for a long time before it al disappeared

Woven into Love 2014

Woven in Love

I was standing in low cut, lush green grass. I was 7 years old in this encounter and wearing a sundress with a small yellow sash that was woven into the waist of the dress. I saw a small group of kids running around and playing tag with I AM. I watched for a while as they laughed and he would sweep them up to kiss and hug them. When he saw me he came running over to me. He said with a big smile on his face "I absolutely love it!" I watched the kids still playing and asked "Where did all the kids come from?" He said "They are mine, everyone of them." I thought, that didn't really answer my question. He turned to watch them a few min more. I slowly reached out and took his hand while he watched and brought it to my face. When he turned to look at me I pulled away, I looked at the ground and apologized over and over. He knelt down to meet my eye's and said in a whisper "Shh...it's okay, you don't need to be afraid of me." He put out his arm to pull me in and I flinched and covered my face. He slowly reached out and pulled me in. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he held me, whispering something over and over but I could not understand it. He then pulled back a little and kissed my cheek "You are mine too." He stood and took my hand, I took my other hand and wrapped it around his arm with my face close to it as we walked. As we walked this field I saw something far out, as we got closer I could see it was a weaving loom. The loom was about five feet high and just as much across. The the tapestry on the loom looked to be 1/4 of the way finished. We stopped in front of the loom and he asked "What do you see?" I looked up at him and said "a loom." He laughed "You are right." He looked at the loom "Child, do you know what it takes to make a tapestry?" He picked up a long, thin, maroon string and held it up "This one string will be woven into the tapestry, weaving it up and down through to the other side. This strain represents your life. Once this string is in place I will add another around it and repeat again and again till it is finished. The tapestry is the body of my son as a whole. Once you are woven in you cannot be pulled out with out those around you feeling the effects. They need you as much as you need them." He walked over and touched the tapestry and said "When I am finished with this, all the beauty of your life and those entangled around you will make something magnificent." I walked over and reached out to touch the tapestry, it was beautiful with its verity of colors. They ranged from maroon, dark yellow, blue, purple, and so on. I stepped back to look at it, and I was amazed by its beauty. I AM walked over to me and knelt down, he studied my eye's a moment and said "I know you don't understand your worth, or how your life touches those around you, but someday you will begin to see just how important you are." He kissed my forehead "Come, walk with me."

Blue wall 01-2014

Blue Wall

I was eight in this encounter wearing a long white robe. I found myself standing in front of a very old, paint pealing, light blue wall. I put my hand out and touched the wall, resting my hand over the pealing paint. I began to inspect the wall, looking it up and down, taking note of all its blemishes. I saw a hand placed next to mine. I turned and saw I AM. His hand was so close to mine they where touching. He whispered my name then asked "What is wrong child?" I turned my face back to the wall then down at the floor, "I don't want to talk about it, not with you." A tear fell from my eye to the dirty cement floor below. He lifted his hand off the wall and placed it over mine. "I know your thoughts, so why not speak them?" I closed my eye's I felt anger begin to rise, But I pushed it back down. I took a deep breath and said "So listen to those then." I pulled away from the wall, turned around and slide down to the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my arms. I AM turned and sat down next to me, he sat close enough to we where touching. He didn't say a word, I thought he would try to get me to talk but instead he just sat there with me. After a while he stood, reached out his hand and said "Come with me I want to show you something." At first I went to get up on my own but got caught in my robe and fell back down. He said "Please" I looked at him and sighed, then I took his hand and he helped me to my feet. I began to brush the dirt from the floor off my cloths, "what do you want to show me?"  He made a fist and held it out to me palm up, he took his other hand and put it under the other. The he slowly opened his hand and in it was a human heart, it was beating and glowing. I AM said "I want to help your heart heal. I want to replace all your sorrow with joy, your pain with healing, your life with passion." I stood there a moment then I looked at the wall and said "You can't fix me, no one can." He interrupt my thoughts with a whisper of my name, the whisper touched the very core of me and I turned back to look at him. I saw the heart begin to glow and then it disappeared. I saw my chest begin to glow and I could see the heart in my chest, beating. I then felt so much love rush through my body that I became weak and slowly fell to my knee's. I AM knelt down to meet my eye's and said "You get stuck sometimes when things seem too big, and easily overwhelmed by what seems impossible, Please know I am not judging you for that. Don't worry about gaining my approval by trying to look stronger then you are." He then got close and put his forehead to mine and whispered, "Lean. On. Me. Instead of the wall you have put up." He stood up and reached down to help me stand. When I got to my feet I looked at the wall and I AM placed his hand on my shoulder and said, "You are so focused on the wall, you didn't even see the door." He pointed off to my right, I looked and saw the door. I shook my head at myself, but instead of criticizing me he took my hand and walked me through it

Life song

Life Song

I found myself standing before the two great doors leading to the new temple. I was wearing a long white robe that went do to just above my bare feet, and I was 10 in this encounter. I saw the angels bowed and covering themselves, I felt silly that they did that for me, even a bit unworthy. I saw a red line cross the door from one side to the other. I heard the click of the lock and the two doors open. I walked through the doorway and stood just inside the new part of the temple that looks like a castle. The doors shut and locked behind me. I didn't look back to see if they where closed, I just knew they where. I saw the spirit standing in the hallway to the right of the thrones. He turned and walked away, so I followed him. I got down the hall to the open area where the fountain was and I saw the Spirit mention for me to come to the curved staircase. I walked over to where he was and he disappeared. I was now standing at the top of the curved staircase looking down at the fountain. I looked around the room and I saw a ball of light dance it's way over to the bottom of the staircase. I watched as it swayed and danced as if it was mimicking the melody of a song. It then became larger and larger till it reached the top of the stairs. I could no longer see the room because of the light. I shielded my eye's and tried to see in I could see anything, then I heard him call out "Child don't be afraid, come into the light." I AM's voice stirred my soul and it began to dance. I stepped into the light and I saw I was standing on a ledge and before me was more stars then I could ever count. I turned and looked all around I was in awe, standing on a small ledge before the universe. I felt so small and in so much wonder at the sight before me. I saw another ball of light grow but it stopped and a white line made of light shot out and connected to the ledge I was on. I then saw a shadow of a figure standing in the light. I heard I AM speak and it felt like the heavens shook. I don't know what he said but it was enough to knock me down. As I stood up I began to hear singing, and humming.   Two angels appeared, one on each side of me, they sang out "Holy, Holy, Holy. Above all things he reigns. He is the bringer of life, the light in all darkness. Holy, Holy Holy, are you the mighty I AM. They kept singing it over and over with so much passion and love. I heard I AM call out to me and I saw him walking the white line of light to me. When he came close I saw he was also wearing a long white robe. His hair was grey with white and black throughout. His hair was a shaggy kinda short, and always looked wind blown. He came and stood in front of me, he reached out his hand and asked me "What do you hear child?" I listened a moment. "I hear the two angels and I hear a song that sounds almost like a humming sound. I hear many voices singing together that are faint." He smiled and said "What else do you hear?" I listened of a bit, I closed my eye's and I heard a song being sung all around me, I couldn't make out the words though. I opened my eye's and with wonder in my voice I asked "what is that song? The one that dances around me?" He knelt down to meet my eye's and said "That song is you spirit communing with me. I know it's song and it knows my voice. I find so much joy in hearing your song, even in your pain and weariness, it is a sweet sound to my ears." I reached out and he took my hand, when he did I put my other hand over his and looked around. My whole body began to glow white. he said to me "If your song was missing, I would notice."  I pulled his hand to my face and I began to cry. He began to sing to me, first in another language then I heard his words "Beautiful child how I love you. I sing life and love over you. I sing joy and peace to every part of you, for you bring me great joy. How your song stirs deep within me, you call out my name and I am overjoyed. Beautiful are you young one whose heart is full of love. Beloved one, beloved one, how I love you." Then it went back to a language I didn't know. His song stirred my spirit and my soul, and I felt feelings I had never felt before. I wept over the love he was pouring over me, I knew deep down I didn't deserve it but I didn't want it to stop either. I had never felt so accepted and loved at the same time. After a few moments he stopped and I looked at him, he still had his gaze fixed on me. The angels next to me laid face down, and he continued to cry out with his song. With tenderness and love he whispered "you are beautiful and you are loved." He stood and put out his hand and I took it. We walked the white line made of light to the other side. As we got closer I could really hear the hum of all creation and I held on to I AM's arm with both hands. I closed my eyes and allowed him to lead me into the light. 

Silence demon 01-2013

The Silent Demon

I found myself standing in a dark basement, I looked down at my clothes and I saw the white in my robe was tinged with a bit of grey. I was 17 in this encounter and was still barefoot though I was not in the temple or the castle part. I couldn't understand why I was here. I walked around and tried to make out what was in the room. I noticed this basement like room was full of people I didn't know. Some where standing and many where sitting on a few couches. The strange thing is no one said a word. I tried to speak several times to the people there but my tongue was tied and I couldn't say anything. I made my way to the wall in search of a light switch but when I found the spot the switch was gone. So I moved around the room looking for a switch. Soon I noticed someone following me. He began to ask "What are you doing? Why aren't you sitting? Go sit back down!" I looked at him funny, I could barely see his face though in the dark. Then I saw him smirk at me and he said "Yes, yes it will be fine to leave the light alone and go sit back down." I tried to talk to him but I couldn't speak. I got frustrated and I kicked the wall. The man following me laughed and said "You won't be able to speak here and gather the light to you." I tried to yell at him but still could not speak any words. Then a man on a couch in the middle of the room stood up. He mouthed the words "I get it." He pulled a lightbulb out of his pocket, he reached up and removed the lightbulb that was there and put the new one in. He began to turn it into place but he turned it too hard and the bulb broke in his hands. He tied to fix it but damaged the socket instead. Sparks began to fly and I realized this was not going to work. So I began to search in the darkness for doors and windows to open, to gather light but there where none. I couldn't understand why these people just sat here in the darkness unable to speak. How long had they been there? The man who was following me got in my face and said "Wouldn't it be easier just to sit there? Quiet? Sit down with the rest of them, there is no light here." He put his hand on my chest and pushed me back down onto one of the couches. I stood up and smiled at him. He put his finger to my chest and growled, he said in a voice that sounded like many "Don't you dare!" I closed my eye's and raised my hands. I began to pray in my head and ask the Spirit for help. Then I began to sing praise songs, though no word came from my lips. In that moment my chest began to glow and bring light to the room. The people in the room had not seen light for a while and shielded their eyes but moved over toward me. The demon covered his ears and began to scream and his scream sounded like many. The room shook knocking many of the people down. The light grew around me and the man who followed me looked up at me from the floor. I saw his eyes where black and filled with darkness, that's when I knew he was a demon.  He became angry and began to yell at me in his own tongue, which I did not understand. I continued to worship even though no sound came from my lips. I began to feel the presence of the Spirit, I looked to my left and I saw the Spirit shining with white light and glory. He began making his way around the room, he touched every person there in the darkness. The room began to fill with light as each one began to glow. They stood up one by one worshiping though no words came from their lips. The Spirit made it to the middle of the room and put his arms out to his sides, The demon lunged at me but before he could reach me the Spirit said something, I did not recognize the words, but the demon disappeared and a ring of white light shot through the room. The ring of light hit the walls knocking them down, exposing the outside to us all. We were all now standing in a space made of light. Our voices came back and some of the people cried, others laughed and celebrated. I watched as the Spirit slowly left, and I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Jesus standing there, he smiled at me with so much love, then it was all gone.

Wisdom

Two Cups, One Love

I was sitting on my bed when I look up and see a shadow figure before me. I just looked at him, not saying anything to the figure. He was just the a dark shifting shadow always changing form. He had no eyes or details to his figure, just darkness.  I knew it was a demon. He began throwing lies at me, ones I had believed for a long time. I tried to ignore him but he wouldn't go away. I got up with my arms crossed I walked past him. That's when he Whispered "HE doesn't want you, HE doesn't love you, It's a lie." I turned and looked at the demon, he then said in a low calm voice "If he did, where is he? Where is he in your darkness? I don't see him defending his position, HE is lying to you." I turned all the way around and stood before this dark shifting shadow and fear, sorrow, and hopelessness took over. Tears slowly fell down my cheeks. HE said, "See, HE has left you ALONE!"  I closed my eye's trying to shut out the lies he began to hurl out. I then felt the wrath of light, I opened my eye's and I saw my chest was glowing bright with white light. The demon became angry and began cursing me in his own tongue. I stood there afraid when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see the Spirit standing beside me. He always wore the white hooded robe with the hood up. His eye's like a white/clear flame. All of his hair was white beyond understanding. He smiled at me, "Your not alone, I am always here." The showed figure looked like he was throwing some sort of fit. I couldn't understand his words because he was still speaking in another language. The demon became so angry it lunged at me, but the spirit took one step forward and put his hand up. The shadow fell to the floor screening then it disappeared. The Spirit walked over to my bedroom door and said "Come, he is waiting for you." The Spirit smiled and I walked first through the door. The door lead into the temple where the ark sat. I noticed I was now wearing a long white robe and I was now 10 years old. Standing in the back in the shadows I watched as the flame moved and glowed above the ark. I looked around the room but I didn't not see I AM. I looked at the Spirit and asked "Where is he?"  He smiled at me and said "He is where all things are new child." I looked at him a bit confused and not sure what he meant by that. The Spirit began to walk towards the maroon rug. I followed him up to the platform and up the three steps. He passed the ark but I stopped next to it. The Spirit turned around and asked "Whats the matter child? Are you ok?" I was drawn in by the light, it's warmth and comfort. I reached out to touch the white flame and my fingers went through it. I couldn't grasp it with my my hands. The white flame was not hot, but warm. "Can't we wait for him here?" I asked looking up at the Spirit. He walked over to me and placed his hand on my shoulder and said "HE is not here, He is waiting for you where all things are new." I nodded my head and the Spirit turned and walked away, I slowly pulled myself from the ark and followed the Spirit. We walked awhile to the two large doors. The Angels bowed and covered themselves from head to toe with their wings. These Angels where massive,they had to be over 20 feet tall. I slowly walked over to one, I looked back at the Spirit who waited smiling. I tried to peek around the wings to see the angel when he pulled back his feathers just enough so I could see his eye. They where like deep blue glass, his eyes where filled with so much innocence and love. I whispered "Why are you doing that?" The angel pulled his wing back just enough so I could see his face. "You are a child of light! You are the very image of your father. Child you are royalty, we bow because you are the fathers child." I looked at him confused and said "I'm royalty?" The angel smiled and said "Yes, yes you are child of light. The father calls for you, go and be with him." He pulled his wings back over his face and I turned back to the Spirit, "I'm royalty?" He smiled and said "Yes" I walked over to him and I watched as the red line went from one side of the door to the other. I heard a click and the doors opened up to the new part of the temple, which looked a lot like a castle. We walked in and the doors shut and locked behind us. I saw I AM sitting on the middle of the three thrones out ways from us. He walked down the steps and over to me. "Beautiful child, it is good to see you." I smiled, I was happy to see him too. The Spirit walked over to the thrones and sat down on the throne to my right, his left. I AM knelt down to meet my eye's, he studied my face for a moment and said, "So many fears, so many questions." He smiled and kissed my forehead. I asked "Why did the shadowed figure come to me and tell me you are not there?" He touched my face, "Did you believe him?" I looked down at the floor ashamed, "Not at first but I became unsure and then I believed him." I AM took my hands and looking me straight in the eye's said "It's because you don't know who I really am. But child, I will teach you. I will show you I am trustworthy, loyal, ever present. It may take a while but, you will see and be able to stand against his lies. But for now, come I have something I want to show you." He kissed my forehead again and stood up. He put out his hand and I took it. I saw a new hallway form in front of us leading past the three thrones on my right. We began to walk down this hall to an open area. We walked over to the rail of this balcony and I looked down. I saw a fountain covered in a green Ivy type plant. I saw white flowers spotted throughout the Ivy that where white with a red line coming out of the center to the middle of the flower. The Ivy had grown out of the top where the water flowed and down around the fountain it wrapped itself till it was spread out on the floor. I saw I huge curved staircase leading from the balcony where we stood down to the fountain. I followed the rail to the stairs and made my way down. I AM followed me. I looked back when I got to the bottom and said "This is so beautiful! So amazing!" He smiled at me and walked over to the far side. I ran around the massive fountain to meet him. I saw two chalices appear on the edge of the fountain in between some of the Ivy. I couldn't read what the cup said, it was in some language I did no now. I AM reached down and took one and handed it to me. He took the other and pushed through the Ivey to the water in the fountain. I took my chalice and did the same. When we had finished he said to me "I am proud of you child, you have come so far. You haven't let anything chase you away from me. Though you didn't really trust me and knew only bad things about me, you followed anyway. Your heart hopeful with questions, hoping one day you would really know the truth. So, Now I am bringing you to a peaceful place. I am going to restore so much back to you, so drink of these peaceful waters only I can give." He then took a drink of his cup. I looked down at mine for a moment, I studied the writing I could not read then I began to drink. The water was cool and sweet, I could fill it's coolness spread throughout my body. When I was finished I looked down at the cup, the writing had changed. The writing on the cup now said "Beloved." I looked up at I AM wanting to know, "Is this true?" He smiled and knelt down, "It is true. Not because of what you have gone through or what you have done, but because I love you. Child the word means simply this, to be loved. You can stop fighting to earn it, being afraid to lose it....Your the Beloved, and all I want for you is to be loved." He kissed my head and said "I know it will take time, but you will see." He took my hand and we made our way back to the curved staircase. And when I put my foot on the first step up, it all disappeared

New Place

New Place 

I was standing in the back of the temple, where the light from one the ark barely touched beyond the maroon rug. I was wearing a long white robe threat net down to just above my feet. I looked around and I could see where the light barely touched some of the columns just beyond the maroon rung throughout the temple room. I looked up at the angel to my left, he smiled at me and then faced forward. I took a few steps forward and I heard a noise behind me. I turned around to see the two angels cover their feel with their wings. I walked over to the angel and asked "Why are you doing that? Why do you cover your feet with your wings?" The angel smiled and said to me "This is holy ground, your father draws near.....go to him." I turned and made my way to the edge of the maroon rug that leads to the ark. I put the tips of my toes on the soft rug and wiggled them, enjoying the feel of comfort and safety it brought to me. I looked up and saw that I AM was now sitting on the second step up to the ark. He had in his hand a rose, he lifted it to his nose and smelt it. Smiling at me he motioned for me to come to him. I began to walk the maroon rug to the front. When I got to the bottom of the steps he stood up and handed me the flower. I admired it for a moment, smelling it and enjoying its fragrance. He asked "Child do you trust me?" I looked at the flower then to him and said "I do papa."He took my hand and said I have something new to show you." I became wide eye'd with wonder and said "New?" He walked me up the steps and the white flame of light that danced above the ark came upon him and the ark disappeared. I let go of his hand and standing where the ark once stood I asked in a slight panic "Where did it go?" I AM looked at me and asked again "do you trust me?" Without a word I took his hand. I kept looking back, a bit sad it was gone. We walked the platform a while till we came to a massive set of doors, bigger then the ones that lead into the temple. On each side of the door was a warrior angel. They stood more then 20ft by a long shot. You could feel the authority they held just being in their presence. I stepped back a bit afraid of them. Their warrior clothes where made of light, yellow/gold type light. They had their hand on the handle of their swords as they stood guard there. Unlike the Angels that fallow me their eye's where a golden bronze color. I AM said "Child, why are you afraid? This is a safe place, and nothing will harm you." The angel to my left stepped in front of the door and touched it with his hand. Then went back to his place. The doors opened up and the angel's bowed down on one knee and covered themselves completely with their wings as we passed. When we passed them they stood and the doors shut. In this room it looked like a castle. There where three Golden thrones that sat on a platform. There where massive Windows with light pouring into the room. There was peace and excitement in this room. I let go of I AM's and looked around this massive room just in awe. I made my way to the thrones on the maroon rug that lead from the back of the room to the thrones. I stood at the bottom of the steps leading up to them they looked to be made of Gold. I saw the fabric on the thrones where red velvet and had what I think to be jewels, I had never seen anything like them. The throne to my left had a deep purple cloth laid across it. I saw red banners with a symbol I did not recognize on them. The stone on the ground and columns looked like marble, but I cannot say for sure. The archways where so high and large, I suppose you could fit cities under them. I saw a balcony that wrapped around the second floor above me. Many of the banners hung from there. I say Ivy plants strung throughout the banister for the second floor, it was beautiful. I AM came up behind me and said "Child do you know where you are?" I turned around and looked at him, "No papa." He smiled and reached out and embraced my face with both his hands. His eye's filled with tears and he said "There is no place I have made, No throne or jeweled covered thing that can match the beauty that stands before me. You doubt your beauty, your worth, even what you have to offer. But Child you are worth more then all the created things. Do you not see your worth when you touch things and they come to life? They multiply? YOU, my beloved child have touched a part of my heart only you can fill." He kissed my forehead, "You think so little of yourself that it breaks my heart. Beloved child, she'd the thoughts of this world and with time learn to embrace my thoughts for you. Thoughts of self worth, being loved beyond measure, and never being alone." I closed my eyes as tears ran down my face. I AM pulled me close and held me tight, "I can feel how badly your heart and trust have been wounded. You have built a wall around it to keep from getting hurt. BUT I will love you till your heart is healed, till its whole and full of life and joy once again. I will love you with out a timetable and without restraint. I will love you till the void is filled and you will not be able to deny who I AM to you."