Saturday, April 28, 2018

Open Waters June 14, 2015

God encounter
June 14, 2015

"On open waters"

I am standing on a rock far out from the shore. The waves crash all around me. I am wearing a long white dress without sleeves. My hair is long and the sides are pulled back. My hair blows behind me as the wind whips around me.  I am about 11 years old in this  encounter. As in most of my encounters I am barefoot.  I can feel the texture of the rock and how it is wet and cool underfoot. I see off in the distance storm clouds approaching.  The thick black clouds begin to fill the sky. I begin to see lightning and hear rumbles of thunder in the distance. I look behind me and notice there is no way to get to the shore. It is too far back. The rock I am on may be large but it stands alone in the increasingly rough waters. The waves begin to crash against the rock bigger and harder as the storm rolls in.  I close my eye's and take a deep breath. I look around and realize I am stuck and there is nothing I can do. So I sit down on the rock. My dress becomes wet and dirty from sitting down. I try to wipe the dirt off but when the water touches it the dirt turns to mud and makes my efforts worse. I pull my knees up to my chest and tears roll down my face. I watch as the sky grows darker and darker till it swallows up the light that was around me. now I sit on this rock in the dark storm lighting strikes close by. The waves are beginning to wash up over the rock on me. I become soaked more and more my each one. Tears continue to roll down as I realize more and more how critical my situation is becoming. So I laid down on my right side on the rock expecting to parish in its wrath. Then it begins to sprinkle. I watched as the drops of rain begin to slowly fall. I turned my head to look up at the sky, when I did the rain fell hard and fast. I covered my head but not one drop fell on me. I slowly pulled my hands back and looked around. I could see the rain coming down, it was hard to see just feet in front of me. Then lightning shot through the sky and struck the water next to the rock, then I heard thunder so loud I had to cover my ears. I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest, I looked around and noticed the waves where higher then the rock but where no longer touching me. I saw the part of the rock where I was sitting begin to dry up. the rain was falling everywhere but where I was. I reached down with one hand and touched the rock around me it was now dry, and where I sat light begin to grow around me. I was so focused on what was happening in this small dry space I forgot about the raging storm around me. I looked down at my dress and I saw the wet mud. Tears began to fall again as I tried again to wipe it off. I closed my eye's and sighed in frustration. Then I opened my eye's and slowly began to stand. I looked out over the ragging waters  and storm, I thought "there is no hope...I am alone here." Then the rock  shook  and a small crack appeared in front of me. I bent down and touched it. It was maybe a foot long and an inch wide. I stood back up and looked at it for a moment then back out over the storm around me. I looked back down at the crack and I watched a small plant begin to grow. I saw the leaves grow quickly and roll out then I saw a flower bud. I saw a white glow surround it and it opened up into a beautiful daisy. The flower glowed a soft white like the ones at the new temple in the garden. I bent down and touched the petal. The light from the flower grew brighter and my finger began to glow. The light traveled up my arm and throughout my body. The mud on my dress dried up and fell to the ground. I took a step back in awe and looked my dress over.  When I looked back over at the daisy I saw Jesus kneeling touching the flower. He was looking at me and smiling. at this point I had completely forgotten the storm.  He picked the flower and stood up. He looked down at the flower and admired it in his hand a moment.  The he looked at me again smiled gently and asked "Why did you lay down  child?" Tears filled my eye's again and I said "I was afraid." he took a step closer to  me, reached out and touched my face and said "why where you so afraid?" I looked down at the ground and said nothing. The shame began to overtake me, it welled up inside  like the raging  ocean  waves. I looked past Jesus and I saw the storm, with all its darkness and hopelessness and I began to weep. I coved my face and cried. Jesus took one more step closer, he pulled me close and held me while I cried. After a moment I wrapped my arms around him so tight. I buried my face into his chest. He put his hand on the back of my head and kissed the top of my head. He didn't say anything he just held me for a while as I cried. Then I began to feel calm and the tears faded. I pulled back to look at his face, he looked down at me and smiled. He kissed my forehead and stepped back a bit.  He was still holding the glowing Daisy in his hand. He reached out with his other hand and touched my face and said "You are pure...you are innocent....you are clean." I looked down and he lifted my head to meet his eyes and he said "clean....you are clean." Tears began to stream down my face again. He took the glowing daisy and placed it behind my ear. Then he said "child...sweet child...you are never alone. I know it feels that way sometimes in the storm but I am always with you. I am the rock that keeps you safe in the raging waters, the protection from the winds and the rain. I am the one who speaks to the storm and calms all your fears." He then embraced my face with both hands and whispered with tears in his eyes "I am what makes you....clean. I am what you cannot be, I am what you cannot do. Child.....I AM that I AM in everything." When he said that I felt the warmth of the sun, I looked around and the storm was gone. The waters where calm and still. I didn't even notice the storm had passed. I looked back at the shore then at Jesus and asked "how do I get back to the shore?" He smiled and took my hand and said "why go back? Who needs the shore when you can walk on water?" He turned to the open sea and said "come child.....walk with me."

Monday, October 9, 2017

The Cross 2015

The Cross 2015


I was standing in the main room of castle in heaven. I saw the stairs, to my right and left that lead to the second floor where all the rooms where. I saw the light that lit the room out in front of me. I looked down at my feet, I was barefoot. I wiggled my toes and I knelt down on one knee and touched the floor. I was maybe 17 years old and I was wearing a red robe. I was standing in a big gold sparkling circle in the middle of the room. I saw writing on the floor and I ran my hand over one of the letters etched into the golden circle, I wondered what the words said that where etched there. I then heard someone behind me, I stood up and turned to see the Spirit standing there smiling. He stood just outside the circle and I walked to the edge and said "Something is different" The spirit stepped inside the circle and took my hand, he looked at my eye's and studied them a moment. His eye's where like a clear yet white fire. His hair a brilliant white. You could feel the love rolling off of him. He wore a white hooded robe with the hood pulled up. He said to me "I have something I want to show you." he turned to the room in front of us that was filled with light and we walked through it. When we came through the other side we stepped onto a dirt path. I looked around and saw the sky was dark with clouds and the wind was blowing fiercely. There was no grass, everything around us was dead and dried up. We continued on this dirt path to a hill, thats when the wind died down to a breeze. The Spirit walked with me to the top of the hill and stopped. When we got to the top I fell to my knees at the site before me. I covered my mouth and the tears just began to flow down my face. What I saw could not be explained, the sight beyond human understanding. The spirit helped me to stand because I was shaking so badly.  There before us stood three crosses. The Spirit wand with me half way when I let go of his arm. He stopped as I moved forward. What I saw on that cross didn't even look human. I could hear his labored gurgling breath. The blood steadily pouring from his body down to his feet, then wrapping around the base of the cross to the ground. I stood in front of the puddle of blood on the ground. I noticed even in the blood on the ground there There were chunks of skin. There was blood spattered all around where the cross was. As I tried to move forward shaking uncontrollably I fell to the ground. My knees and hands landed in the pool of blood on the ground. I sat back on my knees and pulled my hands out of his blood and looked at them, I was in shock and I was still shaking. Tears still flowing freely from my eye's I watched as the red blood on my hand hand turned white and glow. I looked my hands over several times in disbelief, but the blood that was red on my hands where white. I stood up slowly, I reached out and placed my right hand on the cross as I stood there. I looked at where his feet where in front of me, just above my head. I slowly reached up and I touched them. I heard Jesus take a labored gurgling breath and then he spoke, and his words went out like thunder. I embraced his feet with my hands and I could feel how cold they were. I took the edge of my sleeve dress and began to wipe them the best I could, even though the blood still streamed from his body. The blood I wiped from his feet turned my robe white, and what ever it touched on me did the same and began to Glow. I heard him whisper my name and I stepped back to look at what I could only guess was his face. He looked at me through the blood and then looked up. he spoke again and everything shook, his voice again like thunder.  It was so loud I covered my ears and fell to the ground. The ground shook and the wind picked up again fiercely as before. I looked up at him and I saw he was no longer breathing. I began panicking and sobbing, yelling frantically out to him. I felt the ground shake and I fell back to the ground. I then saw waves of color wash over the cross and Jesus disappeared. The waves of every color then shot out and washed over everything around it. It was like a continuos wave of colors, washing back and forth like the waves of the ocean. Then I saw the Spirit touched my shoulder and I looked up at him, my face stained with tears. He reached out his hand  towards me and helped me stand. I stood there in shock, Trying to make sense of what I had just seen, but I couldn't. The Spirit began to whisper words I couldn't understand and white light wrapped around us. It grew brighter till the Spirit disappeared. I was now standing in a place filled with white light, I looked around but then I heard my name. I turned to see Him! Jesus glowing as white and bright as I was! He stood there smiling at me. I began to sob and ran to him. He wrapped his arms tight around me, kissing my head and holding me tight. Then looked me in the eyes and said "I did this for...you" He wiped my tears from my cheek and kissed my forehead. He said "I want you to understand what I have done for you, the world cannot take from you....nothing can. You are MY beloved child" He held me tight again until everything faded into the white light. 


Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Starry Night 2015

Starry Night 2015

I was sitting on the edge of a small stone bridge. I was 9 in this encounter and I sat with my feet hanging over the edge with my toes just above the water.  with my feet hanging over the side. My toes just inches above the water. I was wearing a layered pink sundress. I look up at the night sky and saw all the stars, I noticed their image echoed their light on the still water. I sat there listening to the russel of the grass and trees blowing in the breeze. I watched the stars dance off and on the top of the almost still water.  I looked up and saw a shooting star and I heard my name whispered in the breeze. I turned to see I AM making his way over to me. He sat down next to me and he wrapped his arm around me pulling me in close for a hug. He then put his hands in his lap and looked up at the sky, then at me. I couldn't make eye contact with him and so I looked back down at the water. He nudged me and asked "Child where are you?" I searched for an answer to give him, but I wasn't even sure. He put his arm around me, pulled me close again. "Child, please don't pull away." I looked at the water then at him  "You know papa, I have so many questions. I have questions I am afraid to ask anyone. There are things that have happened in my life that I keep pushing down and ignoring. There are a lot of times I feel I can't even talk to you about them, and really, I can't deal with them." With his arm still around me I laid my head on him, I AM looked up at the sky "I know, but even in the darkness there is always light, a glimmer of hope. Each star is a reminder that even in what seem's like the darkest night,  there is still light, still hope." I turned an looked off to the side "Why does it feel so dark right now? Why Is it hard to see those stars sometimes?" He kissed my head "Child, it's not as dark as you think." He put out his hand and I noticed it was closed. "Child, open your hand, I have something for you" so I put out my hand, He placed a small little ball of light in my hand. "What is this?" I asked. I AM kissed my head and said "Hope." The little ball of light grew as big as my hand and I began to glow a soft white, then it disappeared. "Child, You are never alone, even in your darkest moments. I promise you will see the hope I have restored to you. You will see all that was lost restored to you. You will look at me and realize I am that hope you have been desperately searching for." He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. And said "Child, together,  we will get through the night"

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Snowflake 2015

Snowflake 2015


In this encounter I am about 7 yrs old. I am wearing a white dress with long sleeves. It was a thick, heavy dress that went down to just above my feet. The dress has beautiful embroidery on the bottom edge and the ends of the sleeves.  I am standing in the doorway to the garden in the new temple. As I looked out over the garden I saw a light layer of snow on the ground. I stepped out onto the patio and I look down at my bare feet. The first thing I realized was the snow wasn't cold on my feet. I looked up and I saw on large snowflake falling from the sky. I put out my hand and the snowflake landed in the middle of my hand, but it didn't melt. I studied the snowflake for a few moments, then I felt his presence. I turned to see I AM, I smiled then looked down at the snowflake still in awe it had not melted. I AM asked, "What have you got there child?" I turned around and walked over to him. He was wearing a thicker white robe it had a V-shaped neck line. It was a magnificent robe. I showed him the snowflake and he knelt down to look at it with me. He said "This one snowflake I know quite well." I looked at him and said "you do?" he chuckled , "Yes I do. I know every line, every curve, nothing about it escapes my notice, and this snowflake is unique in every way." He pointed to the snow and said "I know everyone of them, every line, every curve...every story. Each is unique in every way." I asked "Papa, how do you know?"  He touched my face and said " I know because each one is important to me. Each one sings a different song....and only that one can sing it's song. There will never be another like it." I looked at him and said "but they are just snow flakes." He smiled and said "but they are MY snowflakes" He stood up and said "Come with me Child...I have something to show you.' We walked back into the new temple, down the hallway past the 3 thrones to the doorway that leads into heaven. I saw the clear path that looks like glass but is not. We walked hand in hand down the path to the city behind the great white wall. We crossed the bridge that was red and into the castle. When we got to the door of the castle he motioned for me to step through first and he followed me stoping just inside the doorway. I saw the mighty stairs on both my right and left leading to the second floor. I saw the bright white light coming from the room in front of us. The light was so bright it was hard to look at. I AM looked at me and smiled, then he took my hand and we walked into the light. I had to cover my eyes with my arm because it was so bright. The light faded behind us and we were in the massive room where the long table sat. It was filled full of people laughing and talking. Some where singing others eating. The table was full of food of all kinds, some I did not recognize. We walked to the other end of this room and I saw Jesus sitting at the head of the table laughing with people. I saw the empty chair by his side and I looked up at I AM, and asked "is why is there no one in that chair?" he looked down at me, smiled said softly "That seat is for you, There will always be a chair here for you." Jesus looked over at us and he stood he raised his glass and everyone became quiet, they all then raised their glasses and Jesus said "bring on the laughter and bring on the joy!" I heard a man half way down the table from Jesus stand and yell  "and bring on the new wine! Let us remember! Bring on the bread of life! Let us remember His sacrifice! Let us drink from the springs of life!"  A women then stood and shouted with excitement "let us be full of life and your unending love!" A child then stood yelled, " Yes, yes! What are we waiting for? Let us dance and celebrate!" The child jumped off the bench and grabbed the hand of the girl sitting next to him and they began dancing. Everyone stood and left the table and began to dance around the room. Some still holding their glasses and some food. They where laughing and having a great time. Music full of life began to fill the room. Jesus began to laugh and clap his hands at the sight of what they where doing. I looked up at I AM and asked "Papa, where is the music coming from?" He looked at me with love and knelt down to meet my eyes. He put his finger to my chest and said "Each one I know, every line, every curve...every story. Each one is unique in every way and each one has their own song to sing. The song is unique and only that one person can sing it. When they come together they make a song that reaches beyond the heavens. The song is beautiful and full of life, each one contributes to this song, and I hear each one and I hear them all together as one." He stood up  and said "Go child, dance and sing....be free." Jesus looked over at me and shouted over the song "Come, come and join us!" I looked up at I AM and he whispered "Go!" SO I ran to the group and I began to dance and twirl. I then began to hear my song. I stopped and looked up, I saw The Spirit dancing in the middle around him was a bright white light. He touched those close by and the light spread and they all started laughing. The Spirit made his way over to me and said "You stopped....come and dance with me!" we danced, laughed and the sound of so many different songs sounded like one perfect song. They danced and sang and it didn't seem like anyone grew tired or winded from singing. It was an amazing sight to see. 


Thursday, September 28, 2017

Voices 2015

Voices

Aug 31 2015


I stood at the end of a grand hall lined with massive columns on both sides all the way down to a door at the other end. I was wearing a light pink dress with arms that flared out at the ends by my hands. It had some small details to the dress. The sides of my hair pulled back and a crown of white daisies and baby's breath sat on my head. I had a stand of hair down by my face in a loose curl.  I was maybe 13 yrs old in this encounter. I was barefoot and I could feel the soft texture of the maroon rug that ran from beneath my feet to the door.  The columns where spaced about 10 feet apart and as big around as a small car. The room glowed a soft yellow. I slowly made my way to the door before me. I looked at the columns as I walked. When I got to the door I saw it was a wooden castle door. It did not have a handle on it. I reached out to touch the door, but before my fingers reached it the door opened. I stepped into a dark room the door closed behind me. I couldn't see anything in this room. I became a bit scared and I began to call out into the darkness, but there was no answer. I then began to hear a mass of voices all around me. They where jumbled and made no sense. I covered my ears calling out into the darkness. I took my hands off my ears and tried to listen to what the voices where saying, I just couldn't make it out. I then saw a small glow out a ways before me. As my eye's adjusted to the soft glow I saw I AM standing there. I could see his lips moving but I couldn't hear what he was saying. The voices in the room became louder and I tried to listen hard to what he was saying. So I went to move forward but then I couldn't see I AM. I stepped back into the place I was and I began to cry, I had no idea what to do. As I stood there in that spot I could see him, but each time I moved I could not see him, I dropped to my knees and wept because I was afraid. I AM" smile and slowly walk over to and he bent down and placed his hand on my shoulder. I lunged forward and hugged him hard. He held me a moment and then we stood up together. He began to speak in a whisper, I still could barley hear him over the other voices even though he was right in front of me.  I AM pulled me in closer, so there was no space between us He smiled with such love and whispered, "all those voices out there...they are confusing you, focus on my voice and all the others will fade." As I listened to him talk the room became quiet. He said "don't get so easily distracted child." He embraced my face and he whispered "child, will you allow me to lead?" I looked into his eyes and said "I will." He said then let us dance together. I looked at him confused and asked "dance? We are in a dark room." He said "do you trust me?" I paused a moment and looked into his eye's, "yes, yes I trust you." Step up on my feet child, and together we will dance. Knowing I was 13 and not a small child I was uncertain, But I trusted him and with my bare feet I stepped up onto his bare feet. As we began to dance tea lights begin to light all over the place. In the dark room they looked like stars, that went out as far as I could see with such a perfect, dancing, glow. He danced a while with me on his feet we both were laughing. I began to see angles standing amongst the lights standing there watching and guarding. I was not afraid anymore, I felt safe and with out any cares. I AM stopped and said to me "child there are many voices out there...but there is only one that speaks truth. Those that speak truth are clear and without confusion, without demand. Even when those voices become clouded always listen for my voice and no one can lead you astray." I looked down and I AM asked "what troubles you child?" I looked at him and said "I am not sure what that is." He smiled really big and said "but you do" I saw Jesus walk up behind him. When I saw Jesus I stepped down off of I AM's feet. I AM said "you know him well." He kissed my head and turned towards Jesus. He embraced his son and they locked eyes and smiled at each other a moment.  Then I AM" disappeared in the candle light. Jesus stepped forward and asked "why so many questions? Why have you been so distraught?" I said "I am afraid" Jesus embraced my face and said "I know, I know you are. But remember I am the one safe place you can turn to when things bring fear. There is no fear here....there never will be." Tears began to slowly fall from my eye's even though I tried to hold them back. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. He just let me cry. He then picked me up and the Angels lowered to the ground with their wings spread out. Jesus turned and followed the path I AM took leaving the room. As he walked the Angels behind him blew out the candles till everything was gone. 

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

New life 2015

New life 2015


I am standing in the doorway to the garden. I am 12yrs old in this encounter and wearing a white embroidered dress. I lean against the doorway and for a moment take in the beauty thats before me. I stood up straight and stepped out onto the patio I notice the texture of the stone beneath my bare feet. I walked to the other end of the patio and stood behind the 4ft wall. I leaned on it and looked around.  I noticed by the apple tree a little ways out that I AM was picking apples from the tree. So I got on the path and followed it downs ways, then stepped off of it walking towards the tree. He turned his head to look at me. He smiled and continued to pick apples. On the ground I saw the basket full of apples. I reached down, picked up an apple and I looked it over. I placed it back in the basket and I looked to I AM, “What are the apples for?" He chuckled and stopped, "To eat sweet child." I smiled. He picked up the basket and said "Come! Follow me." I followed him up the path to the new temple. I watched as he carried the basket, it didn’t seem to weigh him down at all. I followed him into the new temple, down the hall to where the doors to heaven where. I noticed as we walked through this time The door that was there was no longer on its hinges. I stopped a moment and checked, there was no evidence that there were even hinges attached tot he doorway. I saw I AM had walked a ways out and so I ran up to meet him. We walked a while on the path that looked like clear glass but was not. We got half way to the city with the mighty wall around it, where the castle was. I AM stepped off the path onto the grass. It was a never ending field of green grass, farther then the eye could see. A ways out he stopped and set the basket down on the ground, he motioned for me to come closer so I did. I AM sat down next to the basket and so did I but on the other side. He took two apples out of the basket and handed one to me. I moved the apple from one hand to the next just looking it over. I AM held up his Apple and looked it over, then took a bite. He pointed to my apple and said with a mouth full and a grin "eat". So we ate the apples together, He didn’t say anything as we ate but  when we were finished he held up his core and said "This apple may look like it has reached the end of its purpose, but it has really only just begun!" He pulled the seeds out and He held them in his hand. "Do you see the potential?" I looked at my apple and then at his seeds. He stood and reached out for my hand to help me up. I took his hand and he helped me stand. Then he took my apple core and took the seeds out. He placed the core on the ground next to his and said "Even without its seeds it is still has purpose.” I looked at the apple cores a bit confused “How does an apple core with no seeds have purpose?” He knelt down and I followed his lead. He pointed at them and said “It will feed other animals and insects. What is left decomposes and feeds the earth, nothing of the apple is wasted.” He stood up and began to walk back towards the path, I watched a moment as a little ant crawled up onto the apple. “Come child!” He stopped and reached out his hand. I stood there and looked at the apple cores a moment before following him. We got on the path and headed towards the great city behind the wall. When we got to the gate I saw two angels standing guard. They bowed and covered themselves with both sets of wings. I was always amazed by this, and as they bowed and covered themselves I smiled at one as we passed by them. We continued through the city to the bridge painted in red that leads to this massive castle in the center of this city. We crossed the bridge and went into the castle. I saw the two staircases one to my left and the other to my right. I saw the big yellow circle on the floor with writing in the middle I could not read. I AM continued forward to the room full of light. Still holding my hand and we walked through. When we got to the other side I saw a massive fountain in the middle of the room. On the edge of the fountain was a silver chalice with writing on it. It said "My Beloved" he took the seeds and placed them in the cup. He then drew water from the fountain and handed me the cup. I looked inside the cup and I saw the seeds sprouting and little leaves appear. I saw small roots spring out and fill the cup. I looked at I AM he was smiling and said "Sometimes you have to separate yourself from who you where, so you can become what you are intended to be. Sometimes at first that moment seems overwhelming and can bring fear of the unknown. Those times can feel overwhelming, and almost like you have come to the end of who you are. But in the midst of all that is going on you find a new hope, a new life. A new purpose. Leaving familiar places and faces can be hard, but what is to come is worth every step forward you take. Child. My son has made you free, he has given you new life. Stay close, grow in beauty and peace." He touched my face and kissed my cheek. “You are right where I want you. I have planted you where you are and I am excited because I know just how deep your roots will grow, and just how beautiful your life will become.”


Wednesday, August 30, 2017

The Gift 2015

God Encounter 2015


The Gift 2015


I am standing in a white room and before me is a white round table with two chairs. Off to my left is a counter with cabinets above it like in a kitchen, they were an off white though. I walk over to the table and sit down. I was 8 years old in this encounter wearing a white dress with a yellow sash. I look around the room and noticed the walls where made of white light. I folded my arms on the table and laid my head down. I began to think of all the things going on in my life. My heart was broken by people I had lost. A tear fell from my eye and before it hit the table it disappeared. I sat up a little caught off guard. I wiped the table with my hand to see if I could find the tear but the table was dry. That's when I saw the jar appear before me. I reached out and picked it up to look at it. It was the size of a regular mason jar, and it even had a lid on it. I then heard I AM whisper " I told you, I keep everyone" I looked up at him and he smiled. I AM walked over to the table and sat down. He reached out for the jar and I gave it to him. He looked at it and said as if remembering a Tim long ago "From the very first tear till the very last I will count and keep." He set the Jar down and said "I have not missed a moment in your life child, good or bad. I have sat by your side through the worst of it all." He sighed and took my hand, "I know you're afraid, but I won't give up on you" I looked at him then down at the table and said nothing. I was trying hard not to cry. He took my hand and kissed it, "I know where your at, I see your pain. I know your struggle. Child, I am not afraid of the questions, the uncertainty, or the reluctance. I'm just not. So please don't pull away." At this point I could no longer hold back the tears they began to flow. I AM leaned in close,  touched his forehead to mine and said "I will walk with you through this darkness." I wiped the tears from my face and looked at him. He got up and walked over to the counter across the room. He  reached up and opened the top cabinet. He pulled out a small gift wrapped in blue,red and yellow paper. He came over and sat down. The gift It had red ribbon wrapped around it and tied in a bow on top. It had a name tag on it with my name. I AM sat down next to me and nudged me with his shoulder, that's for you. I looked at the gift and picked it up. He said "There are many gifts to come,  some you have yet to unwrap" I opened the gift it was a black book with Gold lettering on the front that said---יהוה (Yahweh)

The edge of the pages where lined with gold. I opened the book to the first page and it read "To My BeLoved child" I looked up at him and he said "This will make sense to you soon. Keep it close and write all this down." I ran my hand over the front of the book. The letters on the front where engraved into the book. I could feel the texture of each letter. I picked up the book and held it to my chest and said to I AM "I don't always understand what your doing or why. I don't understand why you keep pursuing me." I looked down at the table with the book still held to my chest. He leaned into me and wrapped his arm around, he gently smiled "Do you have to understand? You don't have to understand why I love you to be loved. Things don't have to make sense for me to wrap my arms around you and hold you. You just need to know I love you, and I am here for you." He tucked my hair behind my ear, the look on his face was full of love. He then stood up and reached out his hand. I held the book in my left hand and took his hand. He pulled me in and held me tight. He kissed my head a few times and said "We walk through this darkness together." The walls made of light began to glow bright till it all disappeared.