Precious Child 2015

Precious Child 2015

I was sitting in my living room chair. I looked around the room which was dimly lit by a few candles. I sat in the silence and began to feel overwhelmed by thoughts and memories of my past. I leaned back my head against the chair and looked up at the ceiling, the thought passed through my mind, “Why am I here?” I heard steps and movement by the doorway to the hall.  An angel stood there, he was one of many that follow me. His glass blue eyes were soul piercing, they were so pure that you could almost see the innocence in them, they were truly unforgettable. The angel was glowing white, his robe and hair all white. His wings where also white...the only color came from his eye's. He spoke gently and said "Child of Light", He bowed down to one knee, he spread his wings and said, "Child, and Beloved of the King." I then saw another angel step into the doorway.  He stepped around the angel kneeling and walked closer to me, he was about 10 feet away from me. Then a third angel walked through the wall on the other end of the room and knelt down on one knee as the first one did. I began to feel the presence of God fill the room. I looked at the angel that stood before me,“Why are you here?” He held out his hand and the jar that held my tears appeared in it, “Child of Light, he counts, every one.” I felt so overwhelmed by what he said. Knowing there where so many tears I have cried, I said, “Why would God count my tears? It seems like such an impossible job. Plus why on earth would they matter?” I leaned forward and buried my face into my hands and wept. I felt a Hand on my head and I looked up, It was The Spirit of God. He touched my face and said "You are not alone. Child, I am here with you." He kissed my forehead and said "I will not leave you." I asked, “why do my tears matter to him? They are just. Tears.  The Spirit took my hand and helped me stand. He lead me to the middle of the room where the angel stood with a jar of my tears. The other two angels Gathered around us stretching there wings around The Spirit, the angel with the jar, and I making a circle. A bright white light wrapped around us, it got so bright I couldn't see. When the light faded Before me stood I AM.  We where standing in a loud of white light everything and everyone had faded away.  "I hear you have questions child." I closed my eye's and choked back tears, I could barely respond, “I do.” He looked at me with love and concern. "Child, you are precious to me. You are so precious to me I count your tears, even the hairs on your head. Nothing about you escapes my attention." I touched hair, “Really? You even count my hair?” Before I could question his actions he said, “Child, your heart is heavy, so heavy.” I looked away from him, he said “These things really don’t concern you, what you really want to know is, Do I want you.” I AM stepped toward me. He gently lifted my head and said "Yes. Your answer is yes. Child, I repeat these things so you don’t forget. It doesn't bother me or make me angry, I am happy to speak these truths into your life. So hear me as I say, Nothing can separate you from me." I studied his eyes and a tear rolled down my cheek, "Papa, I have nothing to give to you, nothing but this broken life." He smiled and kissed my forehead "Sweet child, you worry too much." Jesus began walking towards us in the cloud of light. Jesus touched I AM’s shoulder and stepped forward toward me. He embraced my face with both hands his hands and said such passion "No matter what, you are, you where, and forever will be worth it." I began to cry and Jesus placed his forehead to mine. He closed his eye's and said in a passionate  whisper "Do you hear me child? YOU. Are. Worth it." with his forehead still to mine he looked at my eye's and studied them a moment. Then he said "You are so precious to me." He stepped back and I saw in his hands a white gold tiara decorated with diamonds. Jesus held it up in the air and studied it, he then placed it on my head. Both of them looked at me with so much love. I AM said with a big smile "Child, Forever in my eye's you will be innocent. You will be clean.” I AM placed his hand on Jesus’ shoulder “When I look at you I see what my Son has done, not a bunch of mistakes. You are a child of light and NO one, can take that from you.” I fell to my knees, looking up to them I whispered “I have nothing to give, nothing to show my thanks for all you have done.” Tears slowly ran down my face. Jesus knelt down before me, “you owe me, nothing.” I wanted to wrap my arms around him but I couldn’t bring myself to move. “It’s okay” Jesus whispered. I quickly wrapped my arms tight around his neck whispering, “Thank you.” Over and over again. Jesus embraced me, “Child, I see you, I know you, and I love you. But remember no matter what happens you will always be mine. And when it becomes hard to remember, come to me and I will be happy to remind you just how much I love you" I let go and wiped the tears from my face. “I want to show you something.” Jesus held up his hand and in the middle of his palm was my  Name. I slowly reached out and ran my finger over it, then looked up at him. Jesus stood up and reached down to me. I took his hand and he helped me up. He pulled me close and hugged me tight. He kissed the top of my head and said "I will never let you go." the light surrounding all of us grew bright  till I couldn't see anymore.

Small pieces 2015

Small pieces 2015

I am 7yrs old in this encounter and I found my self laying on my stomach on a cold dirty floor. The floor was made of old decaying wood. I laid there a few moments looking around the dark room,I slowly sat up and brushed the dirt off my cheek. I was so cold and afraid, I turned and looked behind me trying to make out where I was. I saw there was a window that had a small bit of light coming through. It was just enough to see a little more then dark shadows. The window sill paint was old and chipping, the blue faded with its age. The window almost looked like an old farm house window where the wooden cross beams hold in the panes. I noticed a doorway just off to the left of the window. It was wide open, I couldn’t see through the doorway because it was too dark in the room. I tried to move but my left ankle was shackled with a large chain attached to it. I pulled and pulled to find it was bolted to the floor. The the chain was heavy and hard to pick up. The links where 4-5inches thick. I tried to move my leg but the weight of the chain was too heavy. I laid on my back and starred at what I could see of the ceiling. As I laid there I began to feel the cold creep over me, and I shivered. Tears slowly began to stream down onto the floor.  I whispered in to the darkness, “Why aren't you here with me?” I let out a big sigh and closed my eyes,  I didn't even try to move because I had no motivation too. I opened my eyes and turned my head towards the window where a small amount of light shown through, just the look of the light seemed warm, but it was out of my reach. I heard shuffling in the hall, but it didn’t matter to me, I closed my eyes as tears just streamed. After a few moments I opened them and saw a bright light slowly begin to fill the the hallway. The light appeared to be moving closer to the doorway. I waited to see who it was, that's when the Spirit of God stepped into the room. His soft glow added more light to the room. I saw framed pictures on the wall that where distorted images of me. I slowly looked at his face, it was full of love. My mind raced with questions of why?He knelt down and brushed his hand across my cheek, and it was warm. Where I laid crying small puddles of my tears had formed. He put his hand over each pool next to my head, when he turned his hand over I saw the tears where in his hand. I sat up, “What are you doing?” He smiled and held out his other hand, I saw a clear glass jar appear.  When it did a guardian angel appeared behind him. These Angels have two sets of wings and when they kneel one set covers the top the other covers the bottom. They can be 14-20 feet tall. Some are even greater then that in size. This angel stretched out his large wings and wrapped them around us. The Spirit then poured the tears into the glass jar. The Spirit turned and handed it to the angel who held it with one hand on top and the other on the bottom. The Angels eyes were like clear glass, but it had a a deep blue color, they were pretty unforgettable. The Spirit spoke and said "What has happened to you, child it’s not your fault". I was overcome by his words, they seemed like an echo in my being screaming validation, but at the same time felt like a slap in the face. I a tear ran down my cheek but before it hit the floor the tear disappeared. The Spirit looked up at the jar then back at me. He said "There are times child when we need to take responsibility for our actions, and there are times when the fault does not lie with you, abuse is one of those times. I know you want to fix things and make it right, but child, sometimes you can't because it's not your place to make it right. Don't stretch yourself out and become the scapegoat for someone else's wrongs." He kissed my head and the shackle around my ankle fell off. The dirt that was attached to me fell to the floor, and I was clean. “If I didn’t cause it, then why did it happen?” He helped me stand and pulled me close and hugged me tight. “I know it hurts, but I am here to comfort you, to help you have the strength to walk through it. I began to glow with bright white light. My dress even changed and turned into a beautiful dress with embroidery. "Child, it's okay to feel hurt...but don't let it crush you like this. Remember I am always here, always near." I studied his eye’s “Always?” He smiled and shook his head yes. I tried to fight back the tears, but they fell anyway. As each one fell a tear fell they appeared in the jar. The Spirit looked up at the jar with the tears in it.  "Child, when's  glass falls to the ground and breaks isn't it easier to use a broom and dust pan to pick up the pieces rather then by doing it by hand?" I shook my head yes. He touched my face and said “When your broken like this, when everything shatters, remember the broom and dustpan have to work together, one or the other cannot do it alone.” The Spirit picked me up off the floor and said "Sometimes it takes time for things to be fixed. Let me do the work to bring the two together....focus on the Son."I wrapped my arms around his neck. The Spirit looked to the angel then to the door and walked out the door with the angel following

My Love 2015

My Love 2015

I walked into the first room of the castle in heaven. The whole room still lit by the room filled with light before me. I slowly walked over to the stairs on my left and sat on the second step, right behind the small column on the end of banister. My yellow dress covered my knee’s as I drew them up a step and leaned forward on my elbows. I looked down at my bare feet, and began wiggling them as I sat there in thought. I am 7 years old in this encounter. I studied almost every inch of the massive room. I then turned my attentions towards the room with light, when I did I became overwhelmed with emotion. I began to cry so hard it became hard to breathe. I heard a noise and saw the Spirit walk out of the light into the room. He looked at me a bit concerned. He began to speak but I had no idea what he was saying, the room shook and I heard a loud sound like thunder roll through the room. Then I heard I AM’s voice calling out to me in a whisper, "Sweet child why are you so upset?" I wiped the tears from my face, "You can't love me, no one can." I then pulled buried my face into my hands and sobbed. I AM sat on the step with me. He touched my hair and slowly stroked it. I lifted my head and looked into his eye’s. I AM lifted my head "Who told you this?" The tears just poured down my face, "I am too broken to love. Some think I should be healed by now." I put my face in my hands and whispered "I'm not worth it." "I AM moved closer to me. He reached around me and pulled me into his lap, He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, "It’s no ones business how fast or slow you are healing. It's my job to take care of that. Just because a few people expect more right now then you can give doesn't make you broken or unlovable. Child, even if you never changed I would still love you." He kissed my head and held me a bit tighter. "I promise, when you really learn how loved you are and how much grace you have you will begin to heal. Listen to my words of truth. Let me fight off the lies with my love. Only my love will remove all the fear, pain, and darkness. It will take time but I will be with you every step of the way. You have never been alone." I AM motioned for me to stand. We both stood up, he reached down and picked me up. I wrapped my arms tight around his neck and rested my head on my arm. "Child, you fear you are not lovable, but have peace child I love you, and I've got you." Then he walked down the few steps to the door with light coming from it.  The Spirit appeared before the door and smiled. I kissed my cheek and turned to walk with us inout his hand on my shoulder and he smiled. Then they walked me into the light.  

In the valley 2015

In the valley 2015

I’m standing on a massive grassy hilltop, the grass color was a mix of green and golden brown. The green grass was soft and the golden brown grass was rough on my bare feet. The grass came just past my waist. There where no flowers anywhere that I could see. I looked down and saw I was wearing a deep purple colored sundress. The sides of my hair tied back in braids, each side there where three small braids twisted together like rope and was attached in the back. I as 10 years old in this encounter.  I felt that last heat of the day in the wind that blew around me. The sun was slowly begging to set off to my left, the sky was colored in dark orange, yellows, and purples. I soaked up the moment, closing my eye’s and listening to the wind rush through the grass. I opened my eye’s and took a few steps, before me was a massive valley. As the sun was still slowly setting I noticed a part of it was covered in light from the son and other side in shade. I saw two mountain sized hilltops, one on the left and the other on the right. Between them was a mighty river. The river ran through the valley for as far as I could see. The sight was beautiful. I looked to see if anyone was around but it was just me. I felt so small in the the middle of such amazing beauty. I began to slowly make my way down the steep hill, sliding and having to sit in certain places due to its angle. When I finally reached the bottom I was out of breath and a bit dirty. I stood there and brushed off as much dirt as I could from myself. I began to walk towards the river, the closer I got to it the more flowers I saw. There where light purple ones and white ones scattered all around. They where so dainty as the moved in the breeze. When I came to the river I got close enough I could put my toes into the cool water. The river was flowing fast and I watched as leaves and small sticks quickly floated by. I then squatted down and touché the water with my hand. I saw roots grow from the water and stretch down the river. I saw a long way, down in the part of the valley that was covered in shadows, a massive tree grow. It's roots dug into the two hilltops that where as tall as mountains. I wanted to see more but the shadows made it hard to see. So I began to run as fast as I could to go see it. But the shadows grew darker and the grass began to change to all golden brown grass. It hurt my feet to run so I stopped running and began tiptoeing through the rough grass to get to the tree. I became as dark as night in the shadows. I lost my way for a while, I didn't know if i was still headed towards the tree. I began to panic a bit then remembered the river. I stopped and listened for the sound of the river. I began to slowly make my way to it. When I reached the waters edge I stepped in slowly and felt my way around. The bottom was soft mu and stones, it didn't hurt my feet at all. I decided to stay in the water waist deep and walk in the direction the water flowed to the tree. After a while I began to doubt I was even going in the right direction, I knew it was downstream but the walk seemed so much longer then it should have been. I stopped in the darkness and looked around, but I couldn’t see anything, not even the hand in front of my face. I began to panic again, distraught, and lost. I felt my way to the waters edge and stepped out of the river. It seemed hopeless that I would find the tree. I heard a voice inside me whisper “Rest child, and focus on me.” So I sat down on the river bank with my toes touching the waters edge. I began to worry and ask questions about how long I was to sit there?, when was the darkness going to fade to light? Why can't I figure this out? Tears of fear fell from my eye’s as I put my hands behind me to support me, when I did I touched something strange. It startled me at first but I spun around and patted the ground to find it again. When I found it I felt it was a foot. I reached out and grabbed on to the bottom of the robe. I tried to pull myself up but I was so overcome with emotions I couldn’t stand. “Child, why are you afraid?” It was I AM. “Papa! I am lost in this darkness How do I get out of here?” He reached down and picked me up. “I am with you, remember? You are not alone in the darkness, no matter how dark.” I felt him put his finger to my chest and I began to glow. I could see at least five feet all the way around us just from the glow. I wrapped my arms around his neck and in a soft quivering voice and I said “Please don’t leave me here.” He kissed my head and said “I never left.” He walked along the side of the river. After he walked for a while holding me the darkness became less and less, I began to see the tree in the distance. “Child, can you tell the the sun is rising?” I looked around and I saw the sun coming up over the hilltops, “Yes! I can see it!” I loosed my grip around his neck as the light from the sun lit up the entire valley. I AM whispered in my ear “Remember, keep your focus on me, even when it’s to dark to see.” He bent down and touched the golden brown grass and turned it into soft green grass. He put me down and I ran as fast as I could to the tree. When I got there I saw it was larger then any building I had ever seen. I stood there wide eyed and amazed at what I was seeing. I AM touch my shoulder and said, “What do you think child?” I didn’t have words for it at all. I went up to the tree and started climbing it. I noticed it had damaged areas all over it and in spots crimson red leaves. I kept climbing though, I climbed so high that when I looked down at I AM he seemed small. I found a branch and climbed up on it and rested. The shade from the tree made me feel cool in the heat of the morning. I leaned up against the main trunk of the tree and felt safe and secure. I closed my eye’s and listened to the leaves rustle in the wind. I focused all I was listening to the leaves, so much so I heard nothing else. When I opened my eyes I saw I AM sitting on the branch with me. “I wish I never had to leave this place, it is so peaceful here Papa.” He pointed to my chest and said “You never do, that peace is inside of you, all the time.” I sat up and put my finger to my chest, “Really? I have it inside me all the time? Why can’t I feel it all the time?” He smiled at me with so much love, “you loose you focus”

Candle Lit Room 2015

Candle Lit Room 2015

I found myself standing in the doorway to Castle in heaven. I saw the stairs to my right and my left leading up to the second floor. I stood there looking around the room, I marveled at the way the light from the room before me danced and bounced off the floor and walls. In the middle of the floor was a large gold glittered circle with words written in the middle I could not read. I was 10 years old and wearing a very long white dress. I felt something on my head and I pulled it off to look at it. It was a small but elegant crown. It was silver in color but it was not metal. It looked like glass, but it wasn't glass either. It was really beautiful the way it was twisted in the front to make images of small flowers. I carefully placed it back on my head and stepped into the room. The only real in the room light came from the room in front of me, the room Jesus had walked me through. The light reached past the circle on the floor before it faded into shadows. As I stood there I heard my name being whispered. I looked all around the room trying to find where it was coming from. I then walked up to the room filled with light and I heard my name called, but the whisper was louder. I was nervous, I had never passed through the light alone before. I stood there trying to decide what to do. I continued to hear. my name being whispered, so I put my arm up to shield my eye's and walked into the room of light. My heart was racing because I couldn’t see where I was going or what I was walking into. When the light faded I was standing in an old run down room of the castle. It was odd because everywhere else that I had seen in the castle was beautiful. The room looked like it had been abandoned for many many years. I walked around the large room and touched the wall of peeling paint when my foot hit a rock. I bent down and picked it up but as I examined it, the rock fell apart in my hand. On the other side of this large room was a door. The door was at least 100ft high and just as wide. I touched the door knowing there was no way I could ever open it. The wood was worn and warped in areas. You could see the discolored places that had been worn down by the passing of time. The floor all around the room was crumbled stone and dirt. I was barefoot and I could feel the dirt, small rocks and cold stone under my feet. I began to walk with my hand on the door, but as I took a step forward I saw where I put my foot on the ground thick vines appeared beneath my foot. I was taken back by what had just happened and slowly took another step. I saw vines begin to grow under my foot. I was standing on a patch of vines, I saw leaves like ivy spring out of the vines. They felt warm under my feet. I reached down and touched them. When my hand touched them they began to grow out away from me across the floor. I stood up and watched these vines grown, divide and climb the wall to the ceiling. I then saw a vine emerge from the doorway across the room. It moved quickly and bushed out into many other vines with leaves. It traveled fast and began to intertwine with the vines coming from me. They began to wrap around each other until the entire room was covered in these vines. I walked around the room in awe. You could no longer see the run down stone walls or floor, it was completely covered in vines and leaves. I made my way across the room to the door. The door was now painted red. I touched the door with my finger tips and my hand began to glow with a soft white light. The door slowly opened and I saw a dark room lit up by a candle on an old writing desk.  I saw I AM sitting at the desk, he was writing something. I stepped into the room and he turned to look at me. He put down his pen and turned his chair a bit towards me. "Have I been here before Papa?" He smiled, "Yes, yes you have.” I walked over to his desk and stood next to it. I looked down at the paper he was writing on. He took the paper and folded it in half  and gave it to me. I looked at him a moment and slowly unfolded the paper, on it I was a tree. The tree was beautiful and had glowing yellow fruit on it. The fruit on the tree in the drawing began to glow a really bright yellow. I looked at I AM and he smiled. He reached down and pulled one off the tree in the drawing. I set the picture down on the desk, it scared me a little. “Don’t be afraid child, here.” He handed me the fruit. The yellow glowing fruit was the size of a large grapefruit. It glowed a bright yellow in my hand, I looked to him because i wasn’t sure what he wanted me to do with it. He touched it and said  "Eat child." So I slowly bit into the fruit, it was like biting into honey.  When I finished eating all but the middle I saw there was a large red seed. I AM took my hand with the seed in it and he covered it with his other. He kissed my head and with his nose an inch from my own he said in a whisper  "There is so much  life in you.” When he said that I felt something in my hand move. He took his hand away and the seed had begun to sprout and grow. The small vines wrapped around my hand and finger tips. I smiled with excitement. I AM touched the tip of my nose with his finger and said "There is still so much life yet to live. I have amazing adventures in store for you. You will see things many have not and whatever you touch will grow like this seed. It will prosper and bare great fruit." I looked at him and said "What do I do while I wait? I often feel I have no purpose." He smiled and said "But you do have a purpose, it is to learn how love you are by me." I said "But I am not really doing anything." I AM  touched my face and said "Why do you think you have to do something to be worth something?" I asked "What about this great commission and telling the world about your son? What  about serving others? And being saturated in your Word?" He sat back and smiled and said "come here child." He tapped his lap and reached out for me. I moved closer to him and he picked me up and put me on his lap. I laid back into him and he said "Child, without love, all that is worthless. And how can you really love and do for others and not feel loved yourself? Child you are already saturated in my word.” He tickled my tummy and we both laughed, “In fact, he dwells inside you, and in every part of your being.” He held me tight and said “Rest, my sweet beloved, and trust me"  I asked "Papa, why does it all feel so complicated?" He chuckled, kissed my head and said "Sweet child...it's not".  He began to rock side to side and hum a song I did not know. I listened to him and I felt the vibrations in his chest. I finally allowed myself to relax in his arms. As I did I began to feel sleepy and before I closed my eye's I heard him say "Never forget how much I love you." I closed my eye's and soaked in the warmth and love I was surrounded in and fell asleep

The Beauty 2015

The Beauty 2015

In this encounter I was 8 years old wearing a long purple sundress. I was standing in the new temple where the door way was to the old. I turned to look at the massive doorway, and it was gone. I touched the wall with my hand and inside I began to panic, “where did it go!” I thought. I began to search the wall but could not find it. Then I heard my name being whispered. After the third time I stopped and turned around. I didn't see anybody there in the room. I heard it again, it was coming from the hallway on my right where the door to heaven was. I walked to the doorway and I stood there a moment. I saw the Spirit walking the path to me. He stopped and motioned for me to come to him. I stepped onto the clear path and walked out to meet him. He was smiling at me, “How beautiful you are sweet child. My heart is so overwhelmed to see you. He took my hand and we walked towards the kingdom. We entered through the gates where the angels stood and guarded, through the town, and across the red colored bridge to the castle. The Spirit walked me up to the door and motioned for me to go in. I slowly walked through the doorway into this amazing castle. It was so big and beautiful that it was beyond words. I saw the two stair cases one to my right the other on my left. Before me was the room lit with bright white light. It was so bright you could not see into the room. The light radiated out into the room I was in illuminating it with its glow. Under my feet I saw the sparkling gold circle with the writing on the floor. I saw the steps leading up to the second floor where the long hall with all the rooms are.  I was so amazed by the beauty of the circle that I stepped on the line around the edge and followed it all the way around.  circle the. I lined my toes up on the line trying to make sure I didn't step off of it. When I got back to the other side I laughed and jumped off the line away from the circle. I then saw the Saw the Spirit reappear in the middle of the circle. "Come to me child". I walked up to the edge of the circle and stopped. My tiptoes barely touching the line. He motioned for me to come. I looked down at the line that went around the circle. I wasn't sure why I was hesitant to move forward. I looked at him with uncertainty. The Spirit moved toward me and reached out his hand and I took it. I then Stepped over the line into the circle but I didn't step on the line. The gold sparkling circle began to glow really bright and the sparkles in the circle began to rise. Between the bright light from the room and the sparkles it began to look like a shining cloud. It surrounded us and I spun around in amazement, i reached out to touch the sparkles but they where more like shimmering light. The cloud never went beyond the border of the circle we stood in. The Spirit then  linked arms with me and asked "Shall we?" I smiled and we walked out of the cloud, it continued to move and dance within the circle. The Spirit lead me to the doorway into the room of light. When we got to the door I saw Jesus there. He was wearing a white robe with light yellow edges on the sleeves and bottom. Jesus walked over to me and reached out his hand. I slowly reached back. When he took my hand he took it very gently. I walked closer to him and Jesus knelt down to meet my eyes. He pushed back a strand of my hair and studied my face. He said "Hello beloved child." I kind of looked off to the side, I felt a little embarrassed to hear him say those words to me. He reached out and embraced my face with his hand "Why do you shy away from that?" I looked at him and said "I could give you a million reasons. but none of them would matter."  He smiled playfully "Really? Try me.” I pulled my hand back and said "It’s okay, you already know". He stood up and reached out for my hand. I hesitated but I took it. White light wrapped around us and we began to walk through the doorway. When we came to the other side I saw a old wooden shack type house. I had see this place before. Jesus said "There are things in life that seem uncertain, confusing and maybe a tad foggy at times. They don't make sense and life can seem, well, a bit much. But what is it you are looking at? What is it that you see here?" I looked and got closer to the old run down shack. I saw spiderwebs and wood rotting. I saw windows broken out and paint peeling off. I walked back over to Jesus and said "I see a really old, run down shack." He tilted his head a bit to the side and said "Really?" I turned and looked at it again "Pretty sure that's what I see". He said "Child, that's not what I see." I looked at him surprised "How can you not see it?" He looked down at me and said "You know there is something really beautiful there, but it's hard to see if you look only at its flaws." I was a bit taken back by his comment "It's flaws?? The shack is a mess, how can you see anything but that?".  Jesus sat down in the grass and pulled me into his lap. He said "I will help you see what is really there. You see all the little flaws, mistakes, and brokenness of this building, and it's all you see. Sit, rest and look again". I laid back into him, when I did a massive tree began to grow behind him. Jesus leaned back against the tree and I leaned relaxed against his chest into. We sat and looked at this shack for a long time. During this time Jesus began to sing a song in a different language softly as he rocked me side to side. He would stop every once in a while and just hug me a bit tight and whisper "I love you". It seemed like we sat there for a very long time and as the time passed I began to notice the building began to change, Little by little. I climbed out of his lap and jumped to my feet. I pointed to the run down shack and there where no words. Jesus stayed sitting and asked "So, what do you see?"  I looked twice...the run down shack had changed into a beautiful little house. It was surrounded by flowers and the house was a creamy yellow color. The roof was brown. I looked at him and said "I don't understand" Jesus was still sitting leaned against the tree and he reached out for me to come back and sit on his lap. I crawled back onto his lap and he said "Rest with me, hear my words, the more you listen and rest in my love the more you will really begin to see the beauty in the things I do, even the beauty in yourself. Let my love surround you like the cloud and watch your life change.” 

The Temple Fades 2014

The Temple Fades 2014

I stood in the back of the old temple peeking around one of the massive pillars in the back. I was 10 years old in this encounter. I looked down and saw I was wearing a long white dress with long sleeves. I stood in the back where the light was dim, I watched the flames above the ark dance. The peace and safety I felt there was beyond understanding. As I watched I saw the same kinda fire that was on the ark begin to come up from the floor around it. I watched as it began spiraling up and around the Ark, It got so high I that it was taller then the flame over the ark. I watched it for a few moments, it’s beauty was beyond words. The glow to the temple was a soft y white light. The light stretched out to the edge of the maroon rug. I leaned against the back pillar by the doors that lead outside the old temple. I took a deep breath and as I let it out I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw I AM standing there, He smiled gently at me and asked "What are you feeling child?" I looked at the Ark and answered "I don’t know? Why does it even matter?" I turned back and looked at him with some concern “Why did the ark change?  I have never seen it like this before. What is that big flame for?” He looked up at the Ark “Child, Your feelings it matters to me.” I stood up straight with my arms still crossed “Why won’t you answer my question? Is something wrong?” He gently smiled and said, “Nothing is wrong.” I begin to feel as if something big was about to happen. My soul felt unsettled inside me. I crossed my arms and leaned back against the pillar, my cheek touching the side of the pillar,  the coolness of it was strangely comforting. I closed my eye's and said "I am afraid to feel this way. It feels like something is going to happen." He put his hand on the top of my head and asked "I know there is a sense of safety here, a sense of belonging. Trust me child, I have so much more to share with you." A tear rolled down my cheek, inside I was afraid he was leaving me, I was afraid I had done something to make him maybe want to walk away. I stood there watching the flame and I wrapped my arms as far as I could around the massive pillar, as if it was a last attempt to hold onto this place.  I AM reached down slowly and carefully took my hand. "Come to me child" I cringed, but I knew his words where out of love so I let go of the pillar and quickly wrapped my arms around him. I held on so tight for a short while. I AM then knelt down and said "I want you to feel safe and happy.” He touched my face with his hand as a tear fell from my eye, “Why is your heart so troubled? Why would you think after everything we have been through I would leave your side now? Child, this is only the beginning, not the end. I have had you tucked into a secret place with me. You have lived a life of fear, without comfort and safety. I know this has been a long hard road, but child know I have something amazing for you. Not just for years down the road but in tomorrow....in every moment." I put my hands on his shoulders and tears flowed as I tried to choke out the words, "I don't take this for granted, any of it." He smiled and kissed my forehead and said "I know"  He stood up and took my hand and said walk with me. We walked towards the maroon rung and followed towards the ark. But when we got half way down the rug to the front we stopped.  I watched as the Holy Spirit stepped out of the big clear/white flame that surrounded the Ark. He made his way slowly down the steps to the bottom. I AM let go of my hand and I walked the rest of the way to the front. When I got there the spirit reached out his hand to me. I paused and looked back behind me then at the Spirit, I reached out to take his hand to  he transformed into into Jesus. His face glowed a bright white and so did his body. The big flame around the ark moved and surrounded Jesus. I saw His eye's change and they became the same white/clear the Spirits has. I slowly took his hand and the flame over took me. I was now surround with the same white flame. I fell to my knees and wept. Jesus began to speak and his words sounded like a million waves crashing at once. The only word I could make out in what he was saying was my name. The rest was in a language I did not know. When he finished the ground shook and the old temple began to break away into pieces. I became frightened and stood up. Jesus spoke again and I fell to my knees and wept. I don't know what he said but the old temple continued to fall away. I even saw the ark break and crumble with everything else. The flame that was above it joined the flame around Jesus. I then saw a flash of white light shoot out from where Jesus stood, it was so bright i covered my eye’s. I then heard my name whispered, I uncovered my eyes to see the temple and everything in it was gone. I looked around and I saw Jesus before me and we were wrapped in a cloud made of light.  Jesus was still glowing with the white/clear flame and now so was I. He smiled and reached out to touch my face.  "Your place is right here with me, it always has been and always will be." I looked around and asked "What happened to the temple?" He looked at me and said "Sweet child, it has served its purpose...has it not?" I sighed a bit sad but I shook my head yes. I looked at Jesus and said "It really has, but I will never forget it." Jesus looked at me with eye's of white fire and said "You have grown so much Child...do you remember what I once told you?" I shook my head no. He said "You are like a water....always moving, always changing nothing about you will stay the same." I looked at my hands and then back at him "I remember that from a long time ago. You told me about how water takes on many forms and I remember seeing a river cut through a mountain. I will never forget that either." "Child you are before the mountain, don't try to go around it make your own path." I said "How do I cut through a mountain?" he smiled and said let me worry about the details....you just move and dream with me." He kissed my forehead and hugged me tight. Then the white light grew and it all faded away.

Worthy 2014

Worthy 2014

I am about 7yrs old and I was wearing a white sun dress with embroidery on it. I was barefoot as always and I could feel the rough dirt beneath my feet.  

I was standing on the white dirt path leading up to the old temple, the path I had begun this journey with I AM years ago. My heart sank a bit when I realized I was outside the old temple. I was far enough away I couldn’t even see the people worshiping outside, I could hear them though. I began walking towards the sound of them singing, while I walked I looked around, there was nothing but miles of flat land filled with grass. I began to feel confused to why I was so far away from the places I had come to know. As I got closer the sound of the voices grew louder. I began to see the sea of blue robed people singing their hearts out to God, there was no way to number them. Those in the blue robes where on both sides of the white dirt road, as far as the eye could see. I watched them as I continued up the path to the steps of the temple. I then saw Jesus come out of the door from the old temple and stand at the top of the steps. The doors to the temple where so massive, with handles so high only the angels could touch them. Standing at the bottom of the steps I looked up at Jesus and I stepped up onto the first step, I looked down at my feet, they where covered in white dust from the road. I felt like I had done something wrong to be all the way out here. Jesus began to walk down the steps to me. I looked up and saw he was in front of me standing one step above mine. He looked down at me with a loving smile and said "Why did you stop?" I looked at him and asked "Why am I here again? What did I do wrong?" He reached out and embraced my face with his hands and said "I. I didn't put you here. you don't belong out here, you belong inside with me." I looked down at my feet, “You didn’t put me out here?” Jesus whispered to me  "You are worth it. I know you don't see that. yet. To be honest with you Child, I am not even worried about where you are at. You are right where you need to be. You are learning to be loved, you are learning to trust, it takes time. Child. I know it has been hard. I know there are days you feel it and days that you just can't. I know your struggles, but it changes nothing. These things will pass, and you will walk in the love you know is there, and it will stick. There will be a time where you will learn you can trust me in everything. But I don't think the problem right now is knowing that you are loved, but rather that you are WORTHY of being loved. Am I right?" I looked at him and gave him a half smile, "Yeah. I “know” I am loved I just don't feel worthy of any of it. I feel most times like an inconvenience and a burden to those around me, and especially to you. My life feels like a waste of time" Jesus sat down on the step and looked up to meet my eyes, he took my hands and said "Would I be here with you if I really thought that?" A tear rolled down my cheek and I whispered "I don’t know." He took my hand and asked "Child, will you trust me on this? Will you trust the fact that I think you are worth my time? Will you trust me when I say --you are worth it?" I looked around at all the people singing then at him and said nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to answer those questions yet. Jesus pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me, “I know it’s a lot to ask, and you don’t have to answer right now. But I will show you I am faithful in every way, and in everything.” I slowly relaxed in his embrace and and leaned back into him. “Why are these people out here?” Jesus took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “They choose to be out here. Are you ready to go back inside with me?” I stood up “Yes, yes I am.” Jesus stood up and turned to go up the steps, as he did I slowly reached out and touched his hand. He stopped and looked at me with a soft smile “You can take it.” So i gripped his hand firmly and we walked up the steps to the temple doors together. Jesus touched the door with the tips of his fingers. The golden colored words on the door slowly turned red and the door opened on its own. We walked in and I let go of his hand. I looked around the temple, It was glowing a very soft yellow and was only  lit up by the flaming ball of white light dancing where the ark usually sits. I looked all around this endless room but didn’t see the ark anywhere. I took a deep breath and sank into the feeling of safety in this room. Jesus began to walk to the first pillar in the back of the temple, before the maroon rug.  Jesus looked at me and said "He is waiting for you" He walked to the edge of the maroon rung and stepped onto it. The rug began to glow and Jesus disappeared. I slowly walked to the rug, I stood on the edge with just my toes over the edge of it. I could feel the softness of the rug under my toes. My heart sank again and I pulled my toes back from the rug. I then hear I AM say in a soft voice, “You are worthy child, come.” I looked up and seen him in his white robe shining with white light. He was standing at the bottom of the steps, smiling, I AM motioned for me to come closer. I walked over to him slowly with my head lowered, still feeling like I had done something wrong. I stopped about 5 feet away from him and stood there looking at my feet.  "Child, do you know why we are here?" I looked around the endless room and closed my eyes "No Papa."  He asked with concern, "Child what has you so shaken?" I knew I AM knew the answer, so I hesitated to answer. "He sat down on the first step and looked up at me, "I want you to say it." Still looking at the floor I said with frustration "I’m afraid, okay! I have so much fear in side me. I steals everything. My joy, my peace, my sense of safety, everything!" I looked at him expecting him to be angry and lash out at me, but instead he looked at me lovingly and said, "You are okay here." His response caught me off guard a bit. I AM continued "I know. I know why you are afraid. I want you to know though, You are okay here to express how you feel. You're okay to tell me all your thoughts without fear of me becoming angry. Your hurt and anger don’t scare me. I know you have been through some horrible things, but I am here to comfort you. Come and sit with me and allow your spirit to be edified by my love.” He stretched out his arms and I slowly made my way to him. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me holding me close. “Child, give your self permission to believe that you are worthy, that you are worth my Love." I sighed "I don’t know if I can." He began to rock slowly side to side with me in his arms and whispered to me “Let me help you” I sighed and asked “Why do you care?” I AM kissed my head and stopped rocking, “Child, does there have to be any other reason then I Love you?" I covered my face and began to cry. He kissed my forehead again and held me tight. “It’s hard for you to believe right now, but it doesn't change how I feel.” I AM began to rock with me again and said."Just so you know, this moment right here...is worth everything. This moment with you, my daughter, is priceless

Going back 2014

Going back 2014 

In this encounter I am maybe 6 or 7 years old. I found myself standing in the doorway to the garden in the new temple. I was wearing a white summer dress with no sleeves, the fabric was light and embroidered with small flowers along the bottom edge. I could feel the cool stone on the floor beneath my bare feet, I wiggled my toes enjoying it for a moment, the day was warm so the coolness felt really good and was invited. I leaned on the doorway and took a deep breath, just enjoying the view of the garden. After a short while I stepped out of the doorway and put my whole back against the stone wall and slid down, sitting on the ground. I sat there on the stone patio in the shade that the new temple brought. In front of me was a bush of daisies by the patio wall leading out to the grass. They were drooping and the white glow they give off was dimmed to almost nothing. I felt sad for them, I didn't know what was wrong or why they where like that. A quick breeze brushed up against my hair and I smelt an intoxicating smell. I smiled and turned to look behind me. I giggled and said, “I knew it was you.” I AM looked down and smiled, “Did you now.” He stepped closer and sat next to me. “It's so beautiful and peaceful here Papa.” I AM replied, “Yes it is, you being here makes it better though.” He leaned in and nudged me. I wrapped my arms around his and said, “No, it's better because you're here.” He leaned over and kissed my forehead and asked in a soft voice "What do you see?" I looked out over what I could see of the garden sitting down. There was a four foot wall at the end of the patio so I couldn’t see anything close to it on the other side of it.  I looked at the bush of daisies on this side of the wall, drooping and faded, again I felt sad. He said "Child look at me...." I turned to look at him, his eye's where like blue ice, they pierced my soul. They looked nothing like any man’s eye’s I had ever seen. I AM smiled at me and stood up. I watched him walk over to the bush of daisies that where drooping and he touched them gently.  I watched as he inspected each flower. I AM then he turned to me, he slowly walked back over to me and reached down for me to take his hand. But I noticed something strange, something I had not seen before, he had a wound in the middle of his hand Like Jesus does. I said nothing and took his hand and he helped me to my feet. I took his hand and turned it over to inspect it, but the wound was gone, again I said nothing. I thought maybe I was seeing things. I AM  picked me up and held me in his arms. He touched the tip of my nose with his finger and said "Sometimes we have to look back a little to remember where we are going, how we got there, and why." I AM carried me back into the doorway, down the hall of the new temple  to where the doorway of old temple was. I wrapped my arms around his neck and just enjoyed being in his arms. As we passed through the doorway into the old temple I saw the massive doorway and as he walked through I watched the doors close. I saw the two massive angels that guarded the doorway, they had 4 wings and stood tall and straight guarding the doorway. I watched as they covered the door with their wings. I I then closed my eye’s and breathed in deep, the smell of I AM was comforting and intoxicating. I didn’t want to forget how he smelled, it wasn’t like anything i had smelled before. When we got to the end of the platform to where the ark usually sits, he stopped. I noticed the maroon rug was gone. I didn’t understand why that had changed. I AM sat down on the first step and placed me on his knee. I asked "Why did we come all the way back here?" He smiled and said "This is where you and I have connected the most, it is where you feel safest. it's also where you began to fall in love with me. It’s where you began to learn how much I love you. Its where you began to learn how forgiven and accepted you are. But above all, it’s where you began to develop a relationship with my Son.” He stood with me in his arms and faced the ark, this is where you began to slowly open up your mind and heart to him in a new way. As he talked I watched the clear white flame dance on top of the ark as it always has done. I thought to myself though, “Why did he face this way when he talked about Jesus?” I AM turned and sat back down with me on his lap. “Child. I still have so much to show you, But above them all, I want you to know just how much you are loved.” I looked back at the ark behind us then at him, I didn’t know what to say. He starred into my eye’s a moment, as if he was searching my inner most being. "I will stay here with you as long as I need to. There is no rush in this. I know how wounded your heart is. I just want you to rest in me, today and everyday. Let me be your strength in everything, even in knowing how loved you are. Soon this will make sense, and you will see the truth in it all" I heard a loud ROAR, and it startled me. I saw this massive lion walk out of the shadows in the back of the room, he was as big as a car. When he got to the second to last pillar he stopped, he again let out a loud roar. The lion began to walk, and as he did the maroon rug began to appear behind him and followed him all the way to the steps. The massive lion stepped up to the second step and I was now face to face with this massive beast. I was a bit scared, but I AM held me tight and said in a whisper “There is nothing and no one to fear here.” With caution I reached out to touch the lions mane. The lion closed his eye’s as I did so. I pulled back my hand and the Lion looked at I AM then walked around us. I watched as he walked behind us, holding tight to I AM’s neck. I saw the ark disappear and in it’s place this massive lion laid. He began to roar and the temple shook. After he roared three times he stopped. I AM stood with me in his arms and faced the lion, he placed me on the platform and said, “Go child, go and rest. He will keep you safe, just as I have.” I didn’t understand and was hesitant to leave I AM. I was still holding tight to his robe. “Come with me I begged him as tears flowed. I AM took my hand and walked with me to the lion. He sat down and pulled me into his lap and laid back onto the lion. I AM began to stroke my hair and hold me tight. He whispered in my ear "I will stay with you as long as you need me too. Just rest, know you are loved. Know you are safe." In that moment there was a sense of peace and comfort that washed over me. The fear of the lion began to fade. I closed my eye’s and leaned into I AM, there was so  much love there that I wished I never had to leave

Comforter 2014

Comforter

I was sitting in a dark room, with no light. I couldn't see around me at all, not even my hand in front of my face. I sat on the floor with my knee's drawn to my chest. I could feel the dirt on my feet and my hands when I placed them on the ground. I wasn't really scared, just really sad. I heard after a few moments I AM speak in the darkness and asked "Child where are you right now?" I looked around in the darkness but could not see anything. I felt a cool breeze blow past me, my hair moved with it as it passed. I started to notice a soft white light. I looked around in the darkness then down at me, I was glowing. The light filling a small space around me came from, me. The glow began to surround me in a bubble, almost as if it was separating me from the darkness. I stood there looking at my arms and dress amazed by it. Then I saw the Spirit walk out of the darkness, he was also glowing a soft white. When he got close to me he asked in a soft voice "Child...Where are you at right now?" I rubbed my arm and looked around at the darkness. The only thing in this space I could make out was the dirt floor beneath my feet. I looked into the Spirits eye’s and paused a moment before answering him. “I really don’t know.” He reached out his hand and I took it, he said quietly “I can feel your sadness and fear.” A tear rolled down my cheek “I am lost, I’m lost in this despair. I feel alone and confused.” The Spirit touched my face with his other hand and said softly, “I know. I am here to help you.” More tears came and flowed as I put my hand over his and pressed it into my cheek. “I got lost and I can’t move. I don’t know which way to walk. The darkness hides everything, even hope that there is even a way.” His eye's like a clear but white fire burned so intense and bright. “You are not alone, you where never alone. I am always with you. When the darkness overwhelms you and you are lost and confused, I am still with you. Turn to me and I will light the path for you. When you are scared and hope has been hidden, turn to me and I will comfort you.” Still holding my hand he stood beside me and said “Look, here is the path in the darkness.” The dirt in front of me spun in a circle and stopped. I saw a path light up with soft light. “I am your way out.” I took my other hand and held tightly to his arm and leaned my head on his shoulder. The Spirit kissed my forehead and said “You are safe child.” I then saw tiny little lights appear like stars around us. I looked around us and asked with amazement “What is that?” He looked at me with a smile, “Hope.” We began to walk the softly lit path together through the darkness