Friday, January 30, 2015

Where are you? 1-30-15

I was standing before the wall where the old temple doors used to be. I saw the picture that was before me. I reached out and touched the wall. Everything inside of me wanted to go back to that place where I first met "I AM". It was a place I had come to feel safe and loved  in. I closed my eyes and I heard his voice from behind. He asked "child, where are you?" For a moment I was frustrated he has asked this many times and I knew he knew where I was and what was going on....but then it hit me. I turned around and looked at him with shock. "I AM" was wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. He had the bottom of his pants cuffed up just once and was barefoot.  He smiled at me and said "you got it." I said to "I AM" "this whole time I thought you where referring to how I was doing. It made me frustrated because you know where I am at...but...but that's not what you wanted to know, was it?" He put his hands in his pockets and smiled. He walked closer to me then reached out his hand and said "No it wasn't. I brought you through the old temple because I knew where you were at. You where not ready to understand the love I have for you. You no longer need that place because it's time to recognize where you really are. Child I have gently walked you to where we are because...I love you. So again I ask you...where are you?" I stopped for a moment. I turned and touched the wall again and I stepped back. I looked at the floor then turned to "I AM" "I'm...I'm in Christ" he got a huge smile on his face and said "yes...yes you are. You no longer need the temple you are the temple. What you where searching for is inside you. You no longer have to long for it or have something between us....child you are enveloped with -who I am-." I said "You know I have heard this so many times...why did it take me so long to get what you where asking?" He embraced my face with both hands, looked me in the eyes and said "I knew you would get it, I wasn't worried" he embraced me and held me tight for a few moments. He then kissed my head and said "remember how much I love you"

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Reluctant 1-26-15

I was sitting on the floor with my back leaned up against the wall. It was where the doorway used to be that lead into the old temple. I was wearing a red robe and I was crying. I just wanted to be in that place I had grown to love and felt safe. I saw "I AM" slowly walking up to me. He looked down at me with concern. H asked me "where are you child?" I rolled my eyes and looked off to the right. I was a bit frustrated by this question because I knew he already knew. "I AM" sat down next to me and I pulled my knees in. He looked at me and said "I know somethings are harder then others, I know what you want....but I also know what you need. I know this isn't easy for you, but despite what you think your not walking this alone." I looked at him then down at the floor. he put his arm around me and said "Casie.." I looked at him funny, he rarely uses that name. I asked "Casie? why are you using that name?" he smiled and said "does it not speak to something deep down when I call you by your name?" I thought for a moment and realized it had. I wasn't sure why, but it drew all my attention when he called me by that name. He smiled and said "I have called you Adele for a long time, but no I want to call out to something you have hidden deep inside of you. I want to call out to that child that is hiding inside. You have been hiding a long long time." I pulled my knees a bit closer and tighter and asked "so what are you going to take from me?" He looked at me funny and said "take?" I was frustrated and said "Yeah...take" He shook his head and said "I won't just take things from you." I rolled my eye's and laid my head down on my knees facing the opposite direction of him. "I AM" stood up and I saw him hug Jesus. He embraced Jesus' face and said to him "I love you so much" then "I AM" walked away. Jesus sat down where "I AM" had been. I scooted over a bit and asked "why did he leave?" Jesus smiled and said "He didn't." I didn't say anything him I just looked at the floor. Jesus moved over, he sat so close we where touching. he wrapped his arm around me and my red robe turned white and began to glow. I sat back against the wall and looked down at my robe in surprise. I looked at him and he said "I love you so much Casie....there is nothing you can do to change that. I know where you are at and what you are struggling with right now. I know you have a lot of questions and I know you are afraid....but ask. There is grace and freedom in asking." I looked away and said "I dunno..." he hugged me, kissed my head and said "let me be your strength child..." he stood up and reached out his hand, I hesitated and looked around for "I AM". Then I looked up at Jesus and i took his hand, he helped me up put his arm around me and we walked into a bright light in front of us. 

Friday, January 9, 2015

The Pit 1-9-15

I was sitting on the ledge of a cliff overlooking a bighole in the ground larger than a quarry. As I sat there it became dark all around me. I was covered in darkness sitting on this ledge. Everything around me was darkness. But behind me I saw a bright light it shown over the top of me. I looked behind me and I saw Jesus standing there. I turn back and looked overthis massive hole in the ground. He came up behind me and asked me, child where are you? I looked downlook down into the hole and felt crushed and lost on the back of me where wings. They had been destroyed to the point of being fragile. Like the outlineof the bones in the wings were all that were left. My white dress was covered in tar in tears fell from my face. Jesus touch the top of my head and said," I know where you're at, I know where you're struggling. But there is light in the darkness and I have not left you. Though everything around you seems impossible and seems out of reach...focus on me."  I scooted closer to the ledge and looked down, there seemed to be no end, no bottom to this pit. Jesus reached his arms around me and pulled me back away from the ledge. He pulled me back onto the grass. I stood and turned to him my wings had crumbled and fallen to the ground. My face stained with tears and my arms, dress and hands covered in black tar. I began to yell and scream at him all my frustrations and hurt. He just stood there and listened. I fell to the ground out of exhaustion and just sobbed. He knelt down and placed his hand on my shoulder and said "I love you" I stopped and said "after all that?? You aren't going to scream back or punish me??" He looked deep into my eyes and said "I.. Love ...you" an angel appeared behind him. It was the completely white angel I saw once before. With eyes like light blue glass. He approached with his wings covering his front. Jesus turned and reached up to the angel and the angel pullback his wings. In angels hands was a small mirror and he handed it to Jesus. Jesus took the mirror and showed it to me. He said "do you remember this? Do you remember what I see? All this around youis what you see, not what I see." He lifted the mirror to show me I looked into the mirror and I saw the face of "I AM" I began to cry and I reached out to touch the mirror. I just swept and wept. Jesus put the mirror down and he reached out to me he said "I just want you to know how much I love you, how clean you are, how free you are." I reached out and I wrap my arms around his neck and I begin to cry. He wrapped his arms around me and stood. he held me in his arms as I wept. He said "you will not do this alone I will always be with you. I am placed people around you who will love you, encourage you and bring you hope. Because child right now you just need to know there's hope." When he was done speaking my dress turned white as snow and began to glow. All the tar that covered my hands my dress and my face was gone. Jesus kiss my head and turned and walked me away from the pit