Not One Sided
I was sitting at the end of my bed holding an index card with a red broken heart on it. I was just looking at it when all those old feelings crept in and began to consume me. Feelings of being invisible, dirty, untouchable, unlovable, guilt...and the big one shame. I dropped the card and watched it fall to the floor. I stared at it a moment then tears began to just flow. I covered my face with my hands and cried. I felt so alone and hopeless in that moment. I AM walked through my bedroom door and stood there a moment. He looked down at the floor and saw the card. He looked back at me with concern. I AM walked over and picked up the card. He looked at it a moment then knelt down in front of me. He touched my hands and I brought them down. The tears still flowed down my face. I AM looked into my eye's, I could feel his love just in his gaze. He took my hand and placed the card into my hand. I looked at the card and the red broken heart was made whole. When I saw it I held it to my chest, the tears still flowing. I don't think I could have stopped crying even if I tried. I looked down at the ground but he lifted my head and said to me "Beloved child, it is truth. I want more then anything for you to know I love you." He stood up and I looked at the card again. He reached out his hand to me and I slowly took it. He helped me stand to my feet. I AM pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me holding me tight. Before I had never hugged him back but I closed my eyes and with desperation for this love he was offering I hugged him back with all that I was. He put his hand behind my head and held it against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and said "Child, can you hear that? My heart beats for you."
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