His compassion 10-15-13

God encounter 

10-15-13

His Compassion

I was standing in a cream colored room. Not only where the walls cream colored so was the floor. I was 7 years old and I was wearing a white shirt with blue jeans. I was barefoot and the bottom of my jeans where cuffed so they where not touching the tops of my feet. I was standing in the middle of this room just sobbing. I saw a man who looked to be around fifty walk in to the room. He was also wearing a white shirt with cuffed blue jeans. I noticed that he was also barefoot. His hair was White and grey with bits of black speckled throughout, his beard was the same. It wasn't styled at all rather his hair looked wind blown. He came close to me and stood in front of me. I whipped the tears from my face and apologized for crying. He smiled gently and said "Child, it's okay if you cry." I looked at him funny and asked "who are you?". He touched the side of my face and said "I AM."  I stepped back and said "your name is I AM?"  He smiled really big and said "It is." He stepped close to me and I began to cry again, I AM wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight, but I did not hug him. I stood there feeling numb to what was happening. When he hugged me all the sorrow seemed to melt away in his embrace. He then stepped back and I looked down at the ground. He put his hand under my chin and slowly lifted my head to look at me. I avoided looking at his eye's because I was afraid and I felt ashamed. He asked me "Child, why are you crying?" I turned my head and looked down at the ground. So he knelt down and stooped over so he could meet my eye's. I looked back at him and raised my head. His Eye's where like glass, a light blue tinge to them it was almost like I was staring into an eternity of love. I felt so many different emotions as I stared into his eyes. The tears though still creeping out of my eye's even as I tried hard to hold them back. He motioned for me to sit at the round table on the other side of this room. The table and chairs where the same color as the room. I AM pulled out a chair next to me and sat down. I was so overwhelmed with sorrow and shame I covered my face with my right hand and just wept. He reached over and put his hand over my other hand. He gave my hand a slight squeeze and said "young one, I cherish you." I looked at him and said "I feel like a huge failure. I have fallen time and time again and it seems like there is no answer to fix any of it. And when I feel like I am finally free and I try to walk in that freedom I realize I was never free from it. I am so discouraged and hopeless, mostly I fear my spirit is marred and stained by things I can never erase. That I could never wash myself enough to be clean. But most of all I fear that you will forever reject me because of it, and that I will forever be alone." After I said those things I covered my face with both hands and the tears seemed to flow like a river. I cried so hard I thought I might never stop. I AM scooted his chair close to mine and put his arm around me and said "My young child, you are right where I want you to be. I am invested into your healing, I can feel your sorrow and pain. My heart is grieving with you child. I want you to know in the midst of all this, I love you. Do you hear those words child? I love you. Before anything else and all the fog of life that surrounds you, I want you to know all I see is you. I don't see the things that have happened to you, but I see you. My daughter, my child, my Beloved." The tears had slowed down and I put my other hand down on the table. His words touched something deep inside me. Though I wrestled with what he spoke, deep down I wanted them to be true. I looked at him and he took his hand and tucked my hair behind my ear and said "Your heart burns bright and true with love for me. Child, you and you alone fill a longing in my heart with your beautiful song." He wiped the last tear from my face as it fell. I AM smiled gently and said "Do not be afraid...I am here with you always."