Peaceful

Peaceful

I found myself standing in the back of the old temple in the dim light. I had my arms crossed because I felt vulnerable standing there. I was 12 years old in this encounter, wearing a long white robe. I looked down at my bare feet then to the ark out in front of me. As I stood there I felt like the whole world knew what was going inside me, every thought, emotion, the total chaos. I watched the flame dace above the ark, too afraid to go forward. I turned back to look at the door leading outside to where those in blue robes stood. I saw the angel's that follow me standing there, one on each side. I looked to the angel on my left, but I said nothing. He looked at me and knelt down on one knee, "Child of light, what is wrong?" I wanted to look down at the floor but it was difficult to pull my glacé from his eye's, you could see and sense the life in them. There was so much peace and joy, something I was craving, needing. I swallowed hard, "I'm just nervous I guess." He looked me up and down, "How can you be nervous, here?" I tried to fight back tears and answer him, "There is just so much I don't want him to see about me is all, things can't even face." The angel reached out his hand, I placed my small hand on his extremely large hand, "He already knows child of light, yet he has never held it against you." He looked up at the ark and said with a smile, "And he waits for you." The angel stood back up straight and tall, then looked down at me and said "Go to him, he waits for you." I smiled back at the angel, then slowly turned to see Jesus standing in front of the ark smiling. I crossed my arms again feeling like I needed to protect myself for some reason. I lowered my eye's and walked toward the maroon rug, as I did I didn't really think about whether or not to step on it, I just did. I followed the rug up to the steps and stopped, still not looking up, I just stood there. Things, images flooded my mind. Horrible things I wanted so much to hide from him, to hide from myself. I felt exposed standing there before him, If there was a place to run I would have in that moment. But I heard him whisper my name "Casie" I looked up, he had not used that name in a long time. It resonated deep inside me and called to something I could not explain. He slowly made his way down the steps and stood on the last one and he reached out his hand. I looked at his hand, the hole that was there was not bloody, it was just a whole. I reached out slowly with the tips of my fingers to touch it. I was so nervous I was shaking. I touched it gently with the tips of my two fingers when he said to me, "There is nothing to fear here, there is no judgment." I pulled my hand back quickly, "I'm sorry I should not have done that." He smiled, "No need to worry, it was an invitation child. I want you to see and to know there is nothing between us, at all. There never will be." I crossed my arms and looked around the temple, "Then why do I feel so much fear and chaos?" He stepped down off the last step and reached his hand to me, "Will you walk with me?" I reached out and took his hand "yes." Holding hands we walked up the steps past the ark. I looked back for a moment at it, with a small sadness in my heart. Jesus lead me to the two large doors to the ne temple. The angel's this time did not bow down and cover themselves, instead they had long trumpets the lifted and began to sound out. The doors opened and we walked through, once through they stopped and the doors closed. I let go of Jesus' hand and walked over to the door. Trying to understand what it all meant. I reached out and touched the door with my hands, thinking about the safety and security I felt back there. Jesus called my name and I turned around, "Why do we keep leaving that place?" He smiled and motioned for me to come to him. With a heavy sigh, I turned and went to him. He put his arm around me and said "I have something new I want to share with you." We turned to the left down the hallway and came to the door where the garden was. We walked out onto the patio, to the far wall that was waist high. We stepped onto the path leading out into the garden. I noticed the sides of the path where now lined with all sorts of flowers. Jesus stopped on the path and said "let's go this way" He stepped through the flowers, not crushing or damaging one of them, and made his way towards the lake that was there. I followed him from behind. As we got closer to the lake I saw a line of tree's next to the water. We walked through the small line of tree's to the lake. When we got there I saw a hammock attached to two tree's. Jesus claimed inside it and motioned for me to join him. He pulled me close as the hammock gently rocked in the breeze. I laid there with my ear to his chest watching the water, it was almost so still it looked like glass. The day was warm but in the shade it was cool. I could hear the rustling of the leaves in the breeze. I was so peaceful and calm. Jesus kissed the top of my head, he didn't say anything we just sat there in the peace and calm of the moment. I began to feel the chaos of everything inside fade away and I soon fell asleep in his presence.