No going back 2015

God Encounter 2015

-His perfect timing even in editing these out-

No going back 2015

I stood in the new temple facing the three thrones. I was 14 years old barefoot as usual and wearing a white colored robe. I turned around and saw the massive doors leading back to the old temple. I knew It had been destroyed and I was drawn up in a cloud of light with Jesus.  But I stood there wondering if I open the door if it would it still be there. That maybe it had not really been destroyed. It was the place where I felt safe and secure, It was the place I first met I AM. I reached out to touch the massive door I heard someone coming up behind me. I closed my eye's and stopped right before touching the door. I AM walked up next to me and looked at me, not with guilt or anger but concern. I sighed and pulled my hand back. He asked me "Where are you child?" He had asked this question many times before. I thought to myself, 

'I know he knows the answer so why does he ask?" I shrugged my shoulders and said "I don't know."  I AM put his hand on my shoulder and said "Grieving is normal. I know what that place meant to you. But child you have come so far since then. The temple and the ark was the beginning of a new relationship with me. I know structure can be comforting but the unknowns, believe me are so much more exciting. I have so much outside that place I want to show you, it's time to put down that place and pick up freedom." My heart sank, I now knew for certain the old temple was gone. I longed for it though, for its familiar and comfortable environment. I long for those places of hiding and waiting. A tear fell down my cheek as a reached out and placed my hand on the door. I AM placed his hand over mine, and said gently, "I know this way is scary, but know there is just as much love and grace to come as there was in that place. There are new things to see and learn. As always, I will be with you every step of the way." I pulled my hand back from the door and I tried to talk around the tears,  "so there's no going back? Ever?" He pulled me in and kissed my head, and said "Child, let it become a memory. Let it become a place of lessons, the beginning of friendships… Let it be a season that has passed. Every season has it's bittersweet moments, but as you enter the next season there will be new adventures, new provision, and friends." The tears begin to flow down my face as I thought about all those that I have left behind in my life as a whole. Including all the small dreams. So to lose this place was difficult. I took a deep breath and said "Then papa, I will do my best to let the season fade" I AM still holding me in his embrace, "Child I want to to each you to walk, to help you take the steps that will allow you to take back your authority, your assertiveness, and your voice. Child, you have captured my heart. You have all of my attention at every moment. I am watching you grow from a child into a young woman of grace and beauty. You may not see it yet but as you become more confident you will." He kissed my head and held me tight. Then he let go and walked over to the door and touched it with his finger tips. The whole room shuck and the door begin to shrink. It shrunk down into a large picture frame about 6 foot tall and 8 foot wide. He whispered words I didn't understand as he changed this door into a picture. When he stepped back I saw the picture in the frame was of me sitting on the top step in the temple leaning against the ark of God with my head and hand rested on it. That first moment I had really ever had with him in the old temple. He looked at me and said "That was the first time you push past yourself to reach me, that was the day you touched my heart. You wanted to be with me was more than the want for anything else" I walked up to the picture and ran my fingers over the ark, remembering exactly how it felt and every emotion I felt there in that moment. I remembered thinking, he could never top this moment. I turned and looked at him still with tears in my eye's. I saw passion in his eyes for me, his eye's also almost turned to white fire like the Spirit's, but far beyond. His eye's became like nothing I had ever seen before. He reached out and embraced my face, calming every emotion inside me and said in a voice like thunder and a rushing wave mixed together, "You, your life, is a song. It sings a song that has touched my heart. A song only you can sing." I looked down and said "But there are a lot of people out there, a lot of songs. I am sure if mine was to fade, you wouldn't be able to notice." He lifted my head and I looked into his passionate eye's as he smiled really big, "Of course I would notice. It speaks to apart of me that no other song can. I would notice, and I would miss it. But, it will never fade out! How could I let it? Why would I allow it? You don't understand right now what it means to be loved by me. You Have always seen me as the enemy, but I am passionately in love with who you are, with everything about you. And a passionate love like mine never runs away, it never lets go no matter what! In fact it will chase you to the ends of time and space to wrap its arms around you and consume you with love. That's who I am." He kissed my forehead and pulled me in to embrace me, and I could feel the passion and love roll off him and wrap around every part of who I was. My tears of sorrow turned to tears of joy and thanksgiving, my body gave in completely and I sink into his embrace. Then we both began to glow a bright white and as the light got brighter, everything else faded away